Thank you, first of all, for your kind words; my mother-in-law made it through surgery with flying colors and we will know more about next steps soon.
Are you up for talking about the pandemic a bit? Cases are rising and school is back in session and, while it never went away, not by a long shot, the topic of COVID is much more front-and-center in my brain space lately.
The other day, when I was posting about our weekend activities, I had a moment of panic: we are doing TOO MUCH. We are still in a pandemic, and we are acting as though we are not!
I talked it through with my husband and we both looked at each other with fearful eyes, but ultimately agreed that this is where we are. We are still wearing masks in public spaces. We are still limiting our interactions with other people – outdoors, mainly people we know and believe to be handling COVID the way we are. We are still saying no to things that seem “unsafe.”
And yet. We are doing SO MUCH.
Our lives are nowhere near the same as they once were. But we are doing so much more than last year. I don’t know if this is the right way to do things. I don’t think we are being completely devil-may-care about the whole thing, but I do recognize that we are expanding our bubble. No – we no longer have “a bubble.” And that’s a little unsteadying. Part of me thinks we should keep as tight a lid on things as we ever did, considering Carla is still unvaccinated. But the other part of me believes that COVID is now a part of our lives, going forward, forevermore. And while I feel like we are still being prudent, I also feel like we are trying to find a way to live our lives in this new way.
Ugh. I hate it when people say “we’re just trying to live our lives” or “we’re just learning how to live with COVID.” Because that so often is accompanied by behaviors that I find appalling. And maybe you find my increased activities appalling! And maybe they are! Heavy, bewildered sigh.
And UGH. It is so hard. Because there is no One Right Way, and I know that I am being less stringent than some (who have good, valid reasons to be stringent!) and more stringent than others (who are probably feeling some less-restrictive version of my own “we are trying to find a way to live our lives”!). So if you read my posts with distaste, please know that I hear you, and I’m sorry if I am disappointing you, and I have felt that way in the past and in the current time and I really have no idea what the “right” thing is.
Not exposing other people, of course, is at the top of the list. And Carla goes to school, so I feel anxious right there about the potential of infecting others. But also… when we hang out with other kids, they already go to her school. And I know that many of her classmates (not to mention many, many of the students who are in her grade, or other grades at the same school) are nowhere near as careful as we are. But that doesn’t mean we should be incautious! Argggggghhhh! Circles of pandemic worrying!
Anyway, I thought I would post about Where We Are in the Pandemic Currently, considering I used to post pandemic-related things more frequently, and it’s been awhile. Here’s what I’ve got for you.
My Target is looking very bare these days. An acquaintance mentioned that toilet paper is going to be in short supply again, and I haven’t bought any toilet paper for myself (mainly because I have a Costco toilet paper in the guest room closet, purchased last fall when toilet paper seemed more abundant but I was less confident about the duration of said abundance). But I have noticed occasional rolling shortages. The big one, for me, was when my grocery store was out of my preferred brand of sriracha for three weeks in a row… and then my target was also out of it… and then when I mentioned it casually to a stocker at my grocery store, he shrugged and said, “Yeah, we keep ordering it and it keeps not coming.” So I did order a BUNCH of sriracha and now I am well-stocked and of course my grocery store now has plenty of sriracha on the shelves. That is a desert island food for me; I use sriracha the way most people use salt; I could certainly live without it if I HAD TO, but I prefer not to thankyouverymuch.
Speaking of shortages: my grocery store was COMPLETELY OUT of boneless skinless chicken breast. Boneless skinless chicken anything, in fact. As BSCB is a staple of my family’s diet, I was quite miffed by this turn of events.
* * *
This past July, Carla and I flew on an airplane (four airplanes, to be technical) to visit my parents. As I am sure you understand, my husband and I made the decision to risk putting our unvaccinated child on an airplane after much discussion and weighing of various risks. My husband did not join us; one reason was work and another reason was that HE is not ready to get on an airplane yet, so I think you will understand also that I was Very Jumpy about traveling.
Our plan for the air travel was this: Double mask on the plane and in the airport. Stay away from crowds if at all possible in the airport. Eat and drink only FAR away from other people. Eat and drink as little as possible on the plane.
(Our plan for being with my parents: No eating in restaurants, no crowds. Very simple to stick with because they live in the literal middle of nowhere.)
We did okay, I think. We didn’t really eat anything on the way THERE; the flight times worked out that we ate breakfast before we left, and then ate a very early dinner when we arrived. Carla is a champion traveler and a champion masker. And the airport in which we had a layover had an outdoor space! So we spent our time between flights outside. Still masked, because there were a decent number of people out there, but we technically could have removed our masks and been okay, which made it feel better.
On the way HOME, our departure airport also had an outdoor space. We had arrived two hours early, as recommended, but it is a small airport and we have TSA pre-check, so we got through security in about five minutes. So we sat outside for ninety minutes, enjoying a mostly-empty space (it was raining lightly, which kept other people indoors), and eating some snacks.
But once it got close to time to board, we went inside. And. Sigh. Even though masks are REQUIRED, so many people were either wearing them below their chins or just not wearing them at all.
There was a college football team on our flight. And SO MANY OF THEM just didn’t wear a mask.
When you are flying, the flight attendants have added a little “Masks are required by the FAA” spiel to their pre-flight commentary. On the flight with the college football team, the flight attendant looked especially stern as she recited the rules – “you must wear a mask over your nose and mouth” – but STILL I could see at least one footballer sitting there mask free. And OF COURSE I don’t know his life; maybe he has a legit reason to be going without a mask. But I meanly wondered whether he is just aware that he is an enormous, intimidating football beast of a man and is pretty sure no one is going to press him to do anything he doesn’t want to. Harrumph.
(My coping thought was that, of ALL people, a college football team must SURELY be vaccinated.)
We did not pay for first class seats, so I sat in the middle seat on all flights while Carla got the window. I felt this gave her at least a LITTLE separation from all the germy strangers. On our very last (three-hour) flight, the woman next to me was… not exactly mask-averse, but certainly mask-relaxed. She knew the person in the middle seat in the row in front of us, and would occasionally chat at him, pulling her mask down to do so. She ordered a drink and snacks when the flight attendants came around and did not pull her mask up in between bites/sips (which is what I did, and instructed Carla to do – although she ate a few Hi-Chew and that was it). And then she pulled out a snack pack she’d brought. And then just didn’t put her mask on at all.
I fretted and fretted and wrote and revised a million little scripts in my head, trying to come up with the perfect, friendly, non-judgmental way to ask her to put her mask back on AS REQUIRED BY LAW. Before I could say anything, she asked me if I could turn on her overhead light for her and that was my chance! So I said, trying to smile brightly behind my masks, “Would you mind putting your mask back on? My daughter isn’t vaccinated.” It was not the perfectly scripted and breezily-stated request I wanted to make, but we do what we can with the tools we have, and my tools are anxiety and blurting. Thankfully, she did so without comment and I turned on her light and she kept her mask on for the rest of the flight.
* * *
A good friend and his spouse got COVID, even though they are both vaccinated. Fortunately, they recovered quickly and fully. We know that the vaccine is not 100% effective; what we are aiming for is to keep people out of the hospital/alive, not to eradicate COVID completely. And yet it is still scary.
* * *
Some friends recently invited us for dinner. The parents are fully vaccinated, but the kids are not (they are Carla’s age). Before visiting, my husband and I fretted over how to address mask-wearing. We finally settled on saying something like, “We have been having all the kids wear masks when Carla has playdates, but the grownups have been going mask free” when we responded with our delighted, “yes, we’d love to see you.” But then they replied, “Oh, our kids are terrible at wearing masks… we can try to force them to keep one on while you’re here if you prefer…” My husband wanted me to respond that yes, we DO prefer. But ugh. I felt really squicky about that because 1) they had invited us to THEIR house, and it feels really weird to demand that people do something new/different in their own house and 2) if their kids aren’t used to wearing masks, would they even be able to do so effectively? and 3) UGGGGHHHHHHH. The whole thing is SO AWKWARD.
We ended up making Carla wear a mask in their house, and then encouraging all of the kids to play outdoors. Everything worked out okay. But it all felt So Fraught.
* * *
Carla and I had doctor’s and dentist’s appointments a few weeks ago. One doctor’s office has, in big letters on the door, a sign saying, “MASKS REQUIRED” and then below that in medium letters, “Because we are a healthcare facility, the CDC guidance says everyone should wear a mask regardless of vaccination status.”
Carla and I opened that door, went into the waiting room, and stopped… because two patients were sitting there without masks on at all. Both facing the door into the exam rooms which also featured the same sign.
We waited in the hall. And then when the doctor asked if Carla wanted to wait for me in the waiting room, I said, “My daughter is unvaccinated. Is there someplace she can sit where she doesn’t have to be around other people?” and the doctor said of course and let Carla sit inside the exam suite. She cringed when I asked and said, “We have all these signs!” But of course if you don’t enforce the rules, the people who don’t want to follow them AREN’T GOING TO, see above Re: college football player.
When I had to return to this same doctor’s office last week, another person was maskless in the waiting room. This time, I said something passive aggressive – like, “Oh, I’ll just wait outside while people aren’t wearing masks” – and when I was called back for my appointment, the unmasked person had put a mask on.
* * *
Carla’s school is requiring masks of ALL people in her school this coming year. I am so relieved. Even though most (though, as we discovered during the same announcement, not all) of the teachers and staff are vaccinated, I just feel better knowing that everyone is wearing masks. (Some parents complained that vaccinated teachers/staff have to wear masks around our unvaccinated children. To which I give a long, weary sigh.)
The class sizes are larger than they were last year (Carla’s grade had a maximum of ten kids in each classroom last year, for instance, and two of those kids were remote), but they are as large as they were originally. They are enforcing three-foot distancing. Kids eat in classrooms as they did last year, behind three-sided shields. There are cohorts, and the scheduling of non-core classes (language, PE, music, art) has been rearranged to limit “mixing” of those cohorts. We know from last year that if we need to go remote (please please please no), we can do so fairly easily. And everyone is wearing masks.
I am very, very, very grateful that we chose to send Carla to this particular school and that we have the ability to continue to send her there, and I am very, very, very aware of what a privilege it is to do so.
* * *
A dear friend – one who was one of the two families we got together with regularly last year – has invited us to a special birthday event… and my husband and I want to decline, because it is so far removed from our particular comfort zone. (Which, as I have said, is much expanded from last year!) But this event involves multiple people together in a vehicle, and multiple people together inside a restaurant, and we are just not comfortable. It is especially hard/weird because our families were so aligned last year on COVID protocols… and now somehow we are not. It is so hard to say no in this instance and blame it on COVID! I think they will understand, because they are wonderful people, but I also think their feelings will be hurt. ARRRGGGGHHHH.
* * *
I think I am seeing an uptick in mask-wearing in public spaces. When the mask mandate in my state expired earlier this year, I was often the only person wearing a mask at the grocery store. (I went mask-free for about three stores, and then immediately went back to wearing a mask in public spaces.) Now, the number of masked customers is MUCH higher. Which is a relief.
* * *
A person who lives in a very COVID-relaxed state invited us to visit. When we declined, this person reacted in a way that made me think they were very put out by our response.
In almost the same breath, this person – not a medical expert in any way – advised that we not vaccinate Carla. Sigh of exhaustion.
* * *
As you are, I’m sure, I am so very tired of dealing with all this.
It is all so exhausting. My family is also navigating this wave of Covid with reputation but great limits than last year. Last year, we choose to homeschool (virtual school was not a good fit) in order to keep our kids from bringing Covid home to unvaccinated adults. This year, our unvaccinated kids are at a private school that seems very responsive to the ridiculous number of COVID-19 cases in our area: all are masked, regardless of vaccination status, eating happens in outdoor spaces, and large group gatherings are beginning to be restricted again. My children are participating in either masked or outdoor extra curricular activities, and our family is avoiding large group gatherings. Our family is still more cautious than most, and it definitely feels very restrictive and tiresome at this point, a full year and a half into the pandemic.
Ha! Trepidation, not reputation. Autocorrect fail.
Restrictive and tiresome. Yes. And I could do it forever, I think — the restriction, that is — as long as everyone else did it too. If we all had the same guidelines and FOLLOWED the same guidelines, things would be so, so much easier.
I am so tired. I am so tired. I read this entire post with great interest and so WANT to respond with great interest, but I am just so tired. Part of it is that we are just now from an appointment for my immunocompromised child, where he saw one of his rotating team of specialists, not his primary/usual one but we see whoever is on the roster when he is there for his treatments, who said things like “Eh, it’s like the flu! We don’t shut society down for the FLU!” and “Masks have just become so POLITICIZED—like, don’t wear them just because you’re a Democrat and think it looks *air quotes* HEALTHY *air quotes*” and “Kids don’t really GET Covid in a way we need to worry about.” Said the specialist doctor. At a children’s hospital. Who deals with immunocompromised children. What am I supposed to do with that information, when I am supposedly listening to the experts. I’m so tired.
Swistle, that is just. I just. What. And a physician??? Who treats immunocompromised children??? That’s… Yes. No wonder you are tired. That is… Jeez.
Mask wearing has ticked up here, which is shocking. But the governor of Texas is withdrawing funding from any school district that requires masks. My brother, a vaccinated teacher who voluntarily wore a mask, caught it the first week back. Now that he’s returned to work THIRTEEN other teachers are out with it. My husband, a teacher as well, has 158 kids out with covid at his school… in 3 weeks. All of last year when they required masks they had 250 total. My older two are vaccinated. My 5 year old is not. She’s stellar at wearing a mask, but her teacher doesn’t wear one nor do almost all the other 11 kids in her class. It’s exhausting and difficult.
O. M. G. This is all insane.
The “we HAVE to live our lives!” people exhaust me; particularly when they are the same people who refuse to mask or vaccinate. We are a bit more lax than we were last year; but not by much. I only go where I *need* to go – as long as Target is offering free shipping after spending $35 then that is the route I will take.
The shortages are so random and strange. I have been looking for stain remover for about three weeks – finally was able to order some from Target; not my preferred brand but still…whenever I walk into CVS, I am amazed at the empty shelves of random things.
It really raises my ire when people deliberately flout the rules and get away with it. Particularly, when you consider that if we had *all* done what we were supposed to back then, this might have been over by now. *sigh*
Yes! The shortages are SO ODD!
I was so interested to read all this; I may even write my own whole post about it. People flouting the rules, still, all this time, omg. I have to deep breathe. Here’s where we are: everyone is vaxxed and all the people we see closely – including all the boys’ friends – are also vaxxed. They see their friends a lot, but it’s exclusively outside because they are a huge pack and it just works that way. We have seen a few friends indoors – but only a select few and the ones we know are also careful and vaxxed. We travelled to BC to see my MIL and SIL, both of whom are vaxxed, and we did see friends, but outside, particularly when I found out one of my friends was NOT vaxxed, but her husband was. That felt awkward.
The boys are at school and the school board mandated masks before the province put the mandate back in place. Between masks and vax I feel good about it. They eat lunch at a friend’s house near the school, in his backyard.
I never stopped wearing my mask, at this rate I never will, and I only go to the grocery store and very occasionally, the mall.
My husband is at the office 3 days a week, and they all wear masks when not in their actual offices.
Covid cases are skyrocketing here, and I know the vaccine does not prevent us from GETTING it, just from, you know, dying from it, which is good – I don’t want to die! – but I also don’t want to get it and pass it on. Obviously. It’s very stressful to think about. I have been seeing my parents, and also my nieces and nephews. The only people not vaxxed are the ones too young for it. However, they are homeschooled so it is likely not an issue. I worry about my parents. They are vaxxed and careful but they live in Central Alberta which isn’t exactly the best for following rules, know what I mean? An older fellow at their church died of Covid last Christmas.
Yes, deep breaths. DEEP breaths.
Just lending support to let you know I think you are approaching the pandemic/daily living in just the right way. No judgement here at ALL.
I live with the embarrassment of knowing my county (Cass) is the LEAST vaccinated in the entire state of Michigan. I mean, come on! *heavy sigh*
Dave and I are both vaccinated and we wear masks indoors. (Dave wears his outdoors as well, many times, since he has cancer. He is not currently undergoing treatment at the moment because he has to recover from a bad reaction to radiation in May, but we assume he’s immunocompromised.) Dave’s up for a booster shot at the end of this month. We really don’t do much other than go to the doctor’s office (masked – I’ve never seen anyone unmasked at any of his medical appointments) and the grocery store.
But! We are doing a very risky thing on Sunday – going to a concert. The band (Toad the Wet Sprocket) is requiring proof of vaccination or a negative covid test within 72 hours, and masks for everyone regardless of vax status. (They are funding the tour themselves so if anyone in their crew/band gets sick, everything is postponed and it’s on their dime.) We are eating outdoors with other likeminded folks before the show. And it’s a seated, non-sold-out show. They are my FAVORITE band and this is my birthday gift but … oh boy. This is part of that “living life in a pandemic” thing.
Also, my brother and his wife are conspiracy theorists and my mother is all over Facebook complaining about how the vaccine is a “hoax” because people can still get covid after they’re vaccinated. Nothing I say gets through to her. So I feel like the only sane member of my extended family. Fun!
I loved Toad the Wet Sprocket and had no idea they were still around, so this is awesome news! I hope you have a wonderful time at the concert and that everyone stays safe and healthy.
Oh yay, another fan! They released a new album on August 28 and Glen Phillips is very active doing live shows on FB. There’s also a livestream on FB from August 27 when they all got together and performed some acoustic songs – it’s saved on their TTWS page. And thank you for the kind thoughts!
Thank you for the support! And I hope you have a WONDERFUL time at the Toad the Wet Sprocket concert! (I am so sorry your brother and his wife are the way they are. Sigh.)
My great aunt lives in Cass County – she is vaxed ( yay M60! ).
I too am exhausted with my fellow countrymen. I was so pissed all 2020 and now I’m just spent.
I’m just worn down from all of it, too. I went into my dentist’s office last week to buy toothpaste and no one in the office area was wearing a mask. I was shocked.
But we went to a family reunion last weekend. We might not have gone, but there were family photos being taken and my FIL was adamant. We didn’t do any inside activities, but it felt risky and frankly WAS risky.
I’m tired of second guessing everything I do. I’m tired of second guessing everything other people do. It will all become “normal” someday, won’t it?
Yes. I hope (?) so. Siiiiiiiggggghhhhhhh.
I’m glad the surgery went well. I hope things continue to go well for her.
We haven’t flown yet. We haven’t had any reason to, but I’d find it nerve-wracking, so I’m glad we don’t.
Our levels of precautions keeps changing. It was at low ebb for about a week in July when I was actually going in stores unmasked, but then I got worried about delta. Then in August before North went to camp with under-12s we started wearing KN95s to be extra sure they weren’t a carrier, but now I’m back to cloth, etc, etc. We’re two weeks into the school year and according to North, everyone is good about masking at their school, which is a relief.
My goodness, this is all so relatable. I did my first plane travel since COVID last month and I was APPALLED at the mask wearing. I shouldn’t be, but still, I am. I joked to my mom, “Apparently, they need to tell people not just that masks are required, but that they are required to cover your mouth and nose.” WHAT DO YOU THINK WEARING IT ON YOUR CHIN IS DOING. ARGHHHHH. I’ve also noticed that every time I go to Panera, the servers wear the masks on their chin and I BADLY want to send a sternly worded email to Panera corporate about it.
I definitely became way more lax about things over the summer – after I was fully vaccinated but before we found out how bad the Delta variant is. But now I’m back to masking up and limiting too much social contact. It’s back to weighing the pros and cons of activities, but now I feel like I *should* do certain things because I’m vaccinated (and don’t have unvaxxed kiddos to worry about). It’s so tiring.
Florida is its own special being with COVID, because our governor sucks. Like, he wants to limit funding for schools that have mask mandates. WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL DUDE. It’s so very frustrating. Lately, I’ve been seeing less and less people wearing masks in public and I just want to wear a shirt that says “The pandemic isn’t over, people!”
My inlaws are from FL and they have a very difficult conception of what the pandemic is. It must be a difficult, confusing place to weather this particular storm!