Some of the discomfort-causing aspects of the New Job are expected: I don’t know the people I’m working with, so I’m trying to get used to them. I don’t know how to work in an office, so I’m getting used to that. I don’t really know what I’m doing (it’s a new field and a totally new way of writing and communicating with the target audience), so I’m trying to learn as much about my new company as possible.
But many of the discomfort-causing aspects of the New Job are unexpected. And rather silly.
For instance, meetings. For many of the past umpteen years, I never had more than two meetings a week. (And those, of course, were typically over the phone and with people I knew, about subjects I understood.) But my new company is meeting-heavy, at least so far. It makes sense for this company – there are multiple moving parts and it’s critical to understand what’s going on in other departments. I’m telling you that because it seems like you might be shaking your head and tsking softly and thinking to yourself that meetings are stupid. I tend to agree: meetings are usually stupid. But so far, I haven’t been to a meeting that didn’t seem useful.
But there are so many aspects of meetings that are unusual to me. There’s a special meeting-scheduling program that this company uses, and so I’m learning to use that. And even though the scheduling program’s purpose is to find open slots in the schedules of multiple people, I feel weird and intrusive scheduling a meeting in a spot without at least asking the other person if it’s okay. And it seems weird to just assume that we’ll meet in someone’s office. Shouldn’t I ASK, before I just say, “Hey we’re meeting at this time whether you hoped to have time for a bathroom break between meetings or maybe some time to do actual work and by the way, it will be in your personal space”?
And then IN the meetings, I never know what to do. Is it okay to bring a bottle of water? Sometimes it seems that other people do this; sometimes they don’t. I can’t determine what the beverage-bringing rules are.
And if you’re meeting in someone’s personal office, is it acceptable to set something on her desk? Like, your notebook? No? It’s not okay, right?
And using the phone? So weird. I haven’t used anything but a cell phone for… a decade, I’m pretty sure. Plus, it seems so very strange to talk on the phone when other people are trying to work no more than a few feet from you. (Also, they can hear your entire conversation!) But something else that’s a little hard to get used to? The cube-to-cube calling. You told me – which was VERY helpful – to pay attention to the other people and figure out what’s acceptable and what isn’t, and I have paid attention: and people call each other when they could probably hear each other if they simply raised their voices a little. Okay, okay – I know raising one’s voice isn’t conducive to a working environment. And I get that sometimes two people need to be able to look at their own computer screens simultaneously. But it’s just… new and interesting, is what I’m saying.
There are other quirky little things that have been throwing me off balance, but I can’t seem to remember them right now. (Oh! I just now remembered one: the delete key on my office computer is in a different spot than the one on my laptop. Weird! Unbalancing!)
And, of course, there’s the big thing: wanting to prove to my superiors that I was a Good Hire, but feeling like I’m trying to learn a new language while walking on my hands. Underwater.
Okay, it’s not all that bad. But it’s a teeny bit stressful, this New Job thing. (And lonely. Lonelier than being at home. But I’m hoping that will change.) (It will change, right?)
I’m also hoping that I’ll eventually stop being so exhausted that I can stay up a little later than 8:00 pm.
Oh–yes, sounds stressful! I understand what you mean, I have been working from home for years,( doing monthly giving lectures,outside work meetings, etc) it would be a BIG adjustment to get back into the office scene.
I’m sure you will be fine, but, here is the thing, either it will work or it won’t! You will either like it or not…and if not, that is ok! This is your life– you get to decide what job situation is right for you
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Good luck!
Oh yes. New jobs are horribly exhausting. I’m glad it is going well enough, even if stressful and tiring.
Yes, exhausting, and yes, I remember feeling like I was walking on my hands underwater for about… well, for a while.
I say BRING your water or drink to whatever meeting you want. 🙂 And I’m glad to hear an update! Was wondering how it was going!
You will get used to it soon! How is it lonely? Is it the lack of face-to-face communication?
I meant to comment on your lunch post before, but the power went out for like a day right in the middle of composing my comment. Basically–if you don’t have it worked out by now–I was going to say that taking leftovers or discrete units of food in 1 c. containers is a good idea. For example, I might take 1 c. grain and bean salad, 1 c. fruit (or just a whole fruit, like an orange), 1. c vegetable (like carrots), and some sort of dried fruit to work in a soft insulated bag. I also bring cloth napkins and silverware in that bag, with a big metal bottle of water on the side. Packing lunch is the one area where I am a great big hippie-yuppie.
I transitioned from two years of working from home back to an office last July and it was definitely lonely. I know exactly what you mean. It didn’t get less lonely as fast as I had hoped…but now it’s way more fun than working from home (most days.) Hang in there — this stuff just takes time!
I haaaate using the phone in my cubicle since everyone around me can hear. It’s so awkward! I usually use my cell phone in the hallway, actually. For work calls. Just because I don’t want people to hear me. (Obviously this doesn’t work when I need to be looking at my computer screen.)
A lot of people do, actually. Our jobs involve a lot of travel and we almost never make hotel reservations on desk phones, because you have to give your credit card number (we’re not reimbursed until after the trip). It’s not like we don’t trust our co-workers, but…who wants to read their number out loud with a bunch of people you can’t see listening? And possibly writing it down? You don’t even know for sure who’s in the cubicles. What if someone has a friend stopping by to go out to lunch? What if there’s a maintenance worker?
Plus, when we’re traveling, we use our personal cell phones for business calls, so why not when at the office? (You can certainly use the client’s desk phone when traveling, but most people prefer not to.)
Oh, and I’m training someone brand new today. It’s exhausting just being the trainer and I know being the trainee is ten times worse. There’s just so much to remember.
The rule of thumb that I used when starting a new job was to give myself about 2 months to feel comfortable and about 6 months to feel like I knew what I was doing. You have to have a learning period of time. You will do just fine. Take the bottled water with you….if it’s not acceptable, someone will tell you.
OOh, I am one of the meeting haters, so I’m sorry that you are in a meeting heavy environment. It could be one of those things where because you are new and still learning, the meetings all seem important, but once you learn your job you will wish you had more time to do actual work instead? Or it could just be me and how I prefer to work. I generally don’t like when people schedule meetings before 8:30, from 11:30-1:30, or after 4:30. I’ll GO, but it will likely make me grumpy. And, as A’Dell said, people will counter the meeting if it’s not feasible.
I don’t mind if people set their stuff down on my desk but just don’t leave it there. I had an old boss who was a chain diet pepsi drinker and I HAAAAAAATED when he left me his empties. I personally bring drinks if I’m going to a conference room but not if I’m going to someone’s office. If I forget, I look around for a coaster before setting it down. Our directors have the nice wood desks, so I try to be a little more courteous than if I were visiting someone’s cube.
I find cube to cube calling a little odd too – I prefer instant messaging. Sometimes even if the person is the next cube over. Which is also weird. There really isn’t anything NORMAL about the work environment, is there?
Does your company have a branch of Young Professionals? That could help with the loneliness aspect. I am sure you will get the hang of things soon!
+1 to seeming important at first, only to think later, what the heck was that for? I find that people who run the meetings do not run them as efficiently as possible and I work mainly with engineers and technical staff. When I run a meeting I set out the 2 or 3 decisions that have to be made from this meeting right at the start. Then take them 1 at a time. Meetings are decision tools (well most, some are update meetings, but those should be super short!) but lots of people never quite get around to defining what needs to be decided and then summarizing at the end what everyone bought into. It causes confusion and inefficiency. Ugh the meeting culture. It kills me.
And people totally block out time on their schedules to you know, get their crap done. They have to. Otherwise they’ll be in meetings all day every day. That’s when you know the meeting culture is all out of whack; when someone has to schedule legitimate ‘working time’ Bring whatever you want to a meeting, it’s all about survival.
As for location, more than 2 or 3 people makes someone’s office, at least where I work, impossible. 3+ means you need a conference room.
As for feeling comfortable, it took me MONTHS. And It took about a year before I really started talking to people. Part of that is me being shy. Very shy. Another part is being young. It was my first ‘real’ job so I felt really lost and didn’t feel comfortable just walking up to people and asking them things. I probably should have been more outgoing.
I enjoy this take on meetings: http://www.despair.com/meetings.html
New jobs are so tough. I find the exhaustion usually lasts about 2-3 weeks. Hope you’re feeling more comfortable soon!
I MISSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOOOU