This is the kind of week it’s been:
I just spent ten minutes trying to figure out why “undoubtably” was underlined with the little red YOU SPELLED THIS WRONG YOU IDIOT line in an email I’d just written.
(I figured it out.)
ANYWAY, I am pretty much incapable of typing out anything coherent. And yet, I love you, Internet, and I want to give you SOMETHING, even if that something is lame. So I would like to invite you to take a brief glance inside our home.
I know you are excited beyond words. If you’re still reading, after that “undoubtably” business.
First stop, the master bathroom. (Click to embiggerate.)
(Yes - that is THREE bottles of shower spray. And we're not even extreme couponers, y'all!)
Despite the fact that I have captioned the crap out of that photo, I would like to say a few things.
1. The reason there are three bottles of shower spray in varying stages of fullness is that we are both lazy. And also, when it comes to combining the shower sprays into one bottle, we like to play a game where we try to hold out longer than the other person.
2. We play a similar game with our refillable soap bottles too.
(Please note that my soap is posing for this glamour shot on my dining room table, rather than in the bathroom or kitchen where it normally resides. Diva.)
3. You might think that using shower spray that purports to “prevent soap scum and mildew stains” would obviate the need for scrubbing the shower. You would be wrong.
4. I took these photos a while ago, but I feel honor-bound to tell you that now there is only ONE bottle of shower spray on the ledge by the shower.
5. I also feel honor-bound to tell you that my husband refilled the soap in the bathroom without me having to ask or sigh loudly or anything. And it only took like a week of having to jiggle the soap to get any to come out of the spigot!
Next stop, our kitchen.
(A clever caption for this one eludes me. Because this cupboard makes me sad. And furious.)
This is the cupboard above the microwave. The cupboard out of which I spilled an entire Tupperware container full of uncooked rice. Into the fan part of the microwave.
Cupboards identical to this one stretch the full length of our kitchen. (So, five more just like this one.) They are the only cupboards IN the kitchen, except for a single cupboard on the other side of the kitchen and, of course, the two cupboards on the floor level (one next to the dishwasher, one between the stove and the fridge).
It may look like a perfectly normal cupboard.
But look what happens when I introduce a perfectly normal sized box of cereal into the equation. (Click to embiggerate.)
(Seriously, this is not some ginormous "eight months supply!" box of Go Lean we got at CostCo. It's a TOTALLY NORMAL box of cereal.)
This is not cool, Internet.
If you were to tip the cereal 90 degrees on its side, so that it was longer/wider than it was tall, and try to fit it in that way? It STILL DOESN’T FIT.
Why? WHY do the cupboards not fit normal kitchen things, like CEREAL?
It’s not like there’s a dearth of space. In fact, there’s a good two feet of empty space above the cupboards. (Click to embiggerate.)
(Yes, you've already seen this photo. But now it has words on it!)
Empty space that could be taken up by TALLER CUPBOARDS. Or at least normal sized cupboards that fit a freaking box of cereal.
Next stop, the other side of our kitchen.
This is where you get to see, up close and personal, what a weirdo I am.
I’d like you to meet our two dish scrubbers. Their names are…
… Just kidding. We don’t name our scrubbers. (Click to embiggerate.)
(I seriously scrub those counters with bleach spray EVERY NIGHT and they are still flecked with indelible stains. They are the Lady Macbeth of counters.)
One scrubber is for dishes that are going to go into the dishwasher. The other scrubber is for dishes that we are washing by hand.
Lest you think about that one too long, let us move along to the kitchen towel portion of this tour.
These are our kitchen towels. (Click to embiggerate.)
(Seriously, does anyone use a landline anymore? Besides my parents, that is. They still have THREE rotary phones.)
We have two of those, too. Also. As well.
One of them is for drying freshly-washed hands. The other is for drying freshly-hand-washed dishes.
Okay, so that’s really all the photos I have for you. And I’m realizing that this is pretty much the crappest-ass apartment tour ever.
Will some flowers make up for it?
(I may make this photo my new header. Since it's getting to be spring and all.)
How about a mango?
(Someday I shall show you how to make mango salsa that is both beautiful and delicious.)
I sure hope so, Internet. Because this sad excuse for a post is really all I can muster.
Happy Thursday! May the end of your week be filled with only good things!
Oohhhh my goodness I feel your pain on the cabinets! Ours won’t fit our wine glasses. It’s RIDICULOUS.
Our cupboards at least fit the box when it is turned 90 degrees… but then they aren’t very deep, so we have to put them in perpendicular to the back wall… so you can only see the box in the front.
You could try just laying them flat and stacking them that way!
Ha! The three partially used bottles is one of Laura’s seven deadly household sins. My husband is forever opening a new bottle of something when there is an open one sitting right next to it. First in, first out, people!
We have color coded sponges for cat dishes and non-cat dishes (and a complicated system for how often said sponges need to be thrown out). I have drilled this into my mom’s head as one of the reasons she is NEVER allowed to do dishes at my house, but she somehow manages to wash something with a cat sponge EVERY TIME SHE COMES OVER.
I cannot STAND to have other people do dishes in my house. (Besides my husband.) It is a point of much stress, and my ever-helpful MIL is totally baffled by it.
We have “hand towel” and “dish towel” too! Although I had to completely separate them from each other because Russ would always “forget” (aka not care enough to remember) which was was which. And I refuse to try dishes with a towel that has been used a hand/whatever else – drier.
OMG I love this post. I seriously do. I love catching glimpses into people’s homes. It’s this weird thing I have. Also- you make me laugh 🙂
I love when we’re going somewhere at night and people have their lights on and their drapes open. It’s so fun to get a glimpse of how other people live!
(This makes me sound like a creepy creeper doesn’t it?)
O.M.G. I have a draft blog post that I’ve hesitated to publish that starts off with “If you have your curtains open at night and I happen to drive by your house, don’t be alarmed if you see me peeking in.” Seriously. And the thing is, it’s totally not creepy at all because I could care less what the people are doing, I want to see how messy your house is and what you have hanging on your walls!!
I thought I was the only one who did this!! My husband thinks I’m insane but my favorite part about meeting someone new is going to their house. I think it makes a HUGE statement about what kind of person they are!
We have ridiculous sized cabinets too! Not only that, but they only but ONE cabinet underneath the counter to store pans and appliances. ONE. It’s ridiculous.
I am right along side you, except for the dish scrubbers. That is even beyond me. I am also fully incapable of fully closing any cabinet, drawer or closet door, so my apartment always looks ransacked. I have no explanation for it.
My husband does that sometimes. It drives me into a blind rage.
(Not really. :-))
I am pretty sure it drives EVERYONE into a blind rage. I wish I didn’t do it (or at least had a valid reason for why I do it). I am pretty sure I lost a boyfriend in college over the hand towel/dish towel rules. I even use flour sack towels for dish drying simply to have completely separate TYPES of towel to make the system easier to understand.
I am so intrigued by your organization and rules about cleaning things. It makes me look at my woefully dirty house and be sad. Because I only have one scrubber for dishes and didn’t know I should have more than that!
I admit it – we have a landline – but only because a landline is necessary for the home alarm. I don’t even know the number!!!
I have a cabinet like that above our microwave – I use it to store cookbooks and other “kitchen junky” stuff that we don’t necessarily use everyday.
We had to buy a giant storage shelf thing from Ikea, and that’s where a bunch of our stuff lives. Oh! And my in-laws gave us a beautiful teak buffet, so that holds a ton of stuff as well. The rest of it is shoved into closets or living in my bedroom in my parents’ house.
Clearly we have too much stuff.
Happy I’m not the only one who passive aggressively sighs so my husband will do something. Too bad he’s been doing that for a week about my clothing disaster in the bedroom.
And YES YES YES on mango salsa recipe! Mr. A LOVE mango anything, so he will love it!
We have that same dirty dish scrubber. I have a little hook that I put in on the door of the cupboard under the sink to hang it on.
Also, I still use a landline. But I am a loser who has a cell phone that is made of plastic and is paid for by the minute.
In our apartment in New Jersey, we had so little cupboard space that I had to buy a stand alone pantry for the kitchen.
My Dr and I play a similar game with the soap dispenser, we also do it with taking out the trash…I’ve lost the last couple times. 🙁 Ah the joys of House Chore Chicken.
Those mangos look lovely. If you’re going to show pictures of tulips and mangos while tempting us with the prospect of mango salsa, then yes the icicles need to go. The two don’t match.
House Chore Chicken – love it!
LOL I want to be a fly on your wall. You’re funny. PS- at least your hubs uses the shower cleaner stuff. I buy it, AND refill it. Then I have to sneak in after the hubs showers to spray his shower if I want it clean. And then he wonders why the showers have to be washed so often. *sigh*
HA! The title of this post made me laugh out loud. I loved the pictures throughout too. You are hilarious.
I still have a landline. But I’m probably as old as your parents. At least it isn’t a rotary! We moved from a house with beautiful, tall Amish cabinets and deep wide drawers to a Home Depot Special kitchen. I regret that every time I’m putting things away or taking things out. So, pretty much all the time.
It’s been 10 years.
Oh! I never thought of have TWO dish brushes. I’m not a “use the dish brush while hand washing dishes,” I use a washcloth (once. And then to the laundry it goes). But my husband likes to use the dish brush to hand wash dishes, but I never let him use it unless it has JUST emerged from the dishwasher. Having two dish brushes would completely eliminate that problem. You=a dish washing genius.