I’m in the market for some new footwear.
Ideally, I’d like two types of toe clothing:
1. A pair of boots
2. A pair of flats
I have lots of sandals, Internet. With sandals, I am SET. (Well, until next summer, when suddenly – I can assure you – I will be deeply in lust with whatever new styles are gracing the shelves of my neighborhood Nordstrom’s.)
And I have quite a few pairs of heels, both of the sexy and work-appropriate varieties.
But when it comes to close-toed shoes? There, I am lacking.
I have no problem ordering a few pairs of shoes from Zappos and returning those that don’t fit. But I have a limit. I’m not going to let Zappos hold on to $1,000 while I try on five pairs of boots at a time.
So the other day I went to Dillard’s to meet some boots in the flesh. So to speak.
The saleswoman who helped me was very sweet. (At first.)
But I have massive anxiety when it comes to salespeople.
First, I feel weird telling them about all my shoe weirdness. I mean, I’m picky when it comes to shoes. This is because:
* My feet are long but narrow.
* I have ridiculously thick calves.
* My feet get blisters if a shoe looks at them the wrong way.
And if I’m being honest, that’s just the beginning.
When it comes to boots, for instance, I want a pair that:
* Is feminine (ie, not too clodhoppy)
* Looks good both under and on top of jeans
* Doesn’t have gold or brass on it anywhere
* Isn’t too overloaded with buckles/straps/zippers/whathaveyou (People put a lot of crap on shoes these days, Internet.)
* If brown, isn’t too yellow, but isn’t too dark
* Doesn’t look too distressed
* Works equally well with dresses/skirts and jeans
* Makes my ankles look slim
* Doesn’t have the corset-y looking ties on the back
* Has no feathers, tassles, fur, or sequins
No way am I going to tell an unsuspecting saleswoman all that crap. I only share my crazy with you, Internet! (You’re welcome.)
So this woman is running around the store, finding boots for me to try… While she’s off hunting down The Perfect Boot, I’m walking around in a pair of Ecco flats that seem to fit… but they are rubbing ever-so-slightly against my heels and little toes, and I can tell that they are going to give me blisters if I dare to buy them…
She comes back with a tower of boot boxes, and helps me don pair after pair of boots… And when they are too tight on my giant calves, she helps me yank them off…
I start sweating. Not just because I’m wearing my coat (am I supposed to take it off? Doesn’t that imply that I plan to be there for a while?) and not just because yanking boots on over my calves is hard work… but because I’m becoming more and more nervous, because none of them are Just Right… Not nervous for ME, by the way. (Annoyed that no boots in the universe fit me, sure. But not nervous.) Nervous because this woman is clearly working her butt off, clearly anticipating a commission on a $200 sale as reward for her willingness to play Fetch-the-Boots, and I am not loving any of the choices enough to spend $200.
Then I find myself telling her things to soften the blow, so to speak. As in, she brings me a pair of boots I’d never in a million years pick out for myself, and I say, “Oh yes, those are great!” just to be nice to her, even though there is no way I am buying them. But there I am, trying them on… Admiring them in the mirror… Telling her how nice it is that they fit over my jeans (which is a plus, but they look terrible UNDER the jeans, therefore: thumbs down)… Asking her if they come in black.
At this point, I’ve tried on maybe five or six pairs of boots, I don’t want to buy any of them, and I need to get on with my day.
But instead of just saying, “Well, I’m not buying anything today!” I say something ridiculous like, “Well, can I put these on hold while I finish my shopping?”
This saleswoman, clearly not an idiot, starts packing up. And her pleasant, helpful face turns into a full-on Bitch Face, as she says, “Yeah, until the end of the day.” And then she walks away, without taking my name or anything, because we both know I am not coming back.
Oh the guilt!
So I do the rest of what I need to do at the mall (which involves becoming hypnotized by the pretty! colors! in Victoria’s Secret and buying a new bra and about 50 pairs of panties despite knowing that they will fall apart in about two weeks), all the while fretting about the boots and how I’ve offended the saleswoman.
Then I go back into Dillard’s to buy something at Clinique, which is a stone’s throw from the shoe department, and I contemplate wandering over and finding my saleswoman and telling her I’ve decided against the boots… Or maybe just buying the Ecco flats that weren’t THAT ouchy because at least those I really liked, appearance-wise. (Beauty is pain!)
Instead, I leave the mall and go do my other errands. But I can’t get over the saleswoman and how irritated she must have been. Spending all that time on me, with no sale! So frustrating!
The other half of me, the indignant half, thinks, “Well, that sucks, but it’s part of being a salesperson. She shouldn’t have let you see her frustration! That’s not professional!”
The first half of me thinks, “Well, I could go back and try on some more boots…”
The other half screeches “NO. Because if you don’t find anything, that will just make things WORSE!”
The first half says meekly, “I could buy the Ecco flats though…”
The other half shakes its head at my first half in unbridled disgust.
Does anyone else do this?
The desire to please everybody gets you exactly nowhere. It’s just not possible. And yet, here I am, ready to spend money on shoes I don’t want just to please a saleswoman because I couldn’t find a pair of boots I like.
Bah.
Ugh, the guilt. Yep. But to be honest.. the second someone turns bitchy and makes it obvious, I have no guilt at leaving and not buying things. Sorry. I worked in a shoe store for two years while in university and it’s not the most glamorous job – but if you want commission, YOU SUCK IT UP AND BE NICE.
Also, word on the big calves.
haha, this post was hilarious! But I completely agree. I use to be a jewelry sales girl and I hated it… I didn’t like having to stalk the customers and throw sales pitches their way because if I was the customer I would hate that! But you’re right, she shouldn’t have shown her frustration. I hope you find some boots that fit your bill of needs and wants!
I do the exact same thing except with jeans. I am VERY picky about my jeans! But, on a side note, I have thick calves too, so I feel your pain on that!
There were a pair of really cute boots that I wanted last fall…couldn’t get them because my calves were too big 🙁 So yes, I get huge anxiety when I go to try on boots.
And I’m even worse – I actually went through and put shoes on hold at Macy’s last week and never went back. I felt bad just saying “no, sorry.”
btw-completely jealous that you have a Dillard’s.
I know exactly how you feel. I think that is the reason I avoid stores and prefer to shop online. If I have to go into the store, I immediately tell the salesperson I am just looking. They put me under so much stress (really I know that is all me, they are just trying to help, lol). I feel like if I do ask them for help, they will expect me to buy the item. When you do ask for help, they stay near you and watch you. Then they will make comments like you have been best friends for years. I can’t take it!!!
Well, I have no guilt not buying things that I try on and genuinely do not like.
I would only be guilty if I loved it but then couldn’t afford to buy them.
I would have taken my coat off without a second thought.
Btw, I totally hate it when sales people pester me. I try not to say things like “I’m not sure if these look good” because that just opens the door for them to pressure me. I say affirmative things like “No, these are not my style.” I say it over and over if I have to. I justify this because I know that upper management wants them to close the sale but not so much that I buy it and end up returning it. I totally sympathize with the blister situation, btw. I’m convinced my feet went up a size in the last year for all the blisters I’m getting.
You make me laugh 🙂
I love shoe shopping. It’s the only shopping that doesn’t leave me whining about my body. I always feel good in shoes. Jeans on the other hand is a whole other story!
I totally feel you on this one. Perhaps this is why I dislike shopping in general, having to talk to and deal with salespeople. Not that they are bad/ rude/ anything negative, I just don’t like talking to people, having them get me things, ask me questions, being picky, feeling guilty about wasting their time etc etc. My utopian shopping experience would just be a big Ann Taylor Loft with no one in it except the me and clothes. Paradise.
I feel the same way. I don’t even own boots. They are too intimidating to buy, and I refuse to even try them on. I have big feet and SCRAWNY legs, so I have the exact opposite problem of you in the calves. I really do want a pair of boots, though…
I hear ya. I want to love shoe shopping, but I have high arches and pretty much all of the cute, trendy shoes are horribly uncomfortable for me. Blah. I also share your hatred of excessive hardware and attachments on shoes. That’s another requirement that’s hard to fulfill!
I avoid salespeople like the plague – just for that reason.
My husband on the other hand loves to find a salesperson. He loves to have them help him, do research on their computers to his in depth and sometimes irrelevant questions, and serve him for extended periods of time. Often he doesn’t buy anything and is never bothered.
We can’t shop together.
LOL. I have SO done this! I feel guilty, too when they go through so much and I don’t buy anything…I used to be a salesperson too. But I was STILL NICE to people who took up a lot of my time and didn’t buy!
And some shoe salespeople even go to put the shoes on your feet and start TYING them for you and stuff, and it’s like, “whoa, whoa, okay. I can put on and tie my own shoes thankyouverymuch.”
P.S. I have the opposite problem with my calves! I’d love to find a great pair of boots that sleekly shape my legs, but it ends up looking like poles coming out of upside-down tents.
Reading this posts makes me want to go look at boots on Zappos….
OH MY GOSH, I can totally relate. I SUCK at being up front with sales people and even telling the tailor what I really like. And I am picky and incredibly guilty-feeling about everything. My husband has to remind me that people in sales are used to customers more ridiculous than me so it’s not a big deal. Just remind yourself that you were actually nice and not a jerk to the Dillards lady.
As for comfy flats, I am convinced they are a myth. Two weeks ago I bought a pair of “comfy” Bandolino ballet flats and while I no longer feel like I’m walking on daggers when I wear them, they are not exactly pillow-like, either. I have heard good things about Ecco ballet flats and also Dr. Scholl’s (they’re actually pretty cute). I am on the market for tall boots, too, although the ones I really like are way more money than I want to spend. Case in point: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/3093460?origin=related-3093460-0-0-2 I am way too cheap to buy these puppies, but they are super cute.
hahaha, i believe I cried reading this post I was laughing so hard! This is my problem with sales people to a tee, I will even go so far as to buy something and return it later! I wish they would all turn bitchy, it’s much easier for me to pull my own attitude and not buy anything, the worst is when they are so so nice and have tried so hard!
I have the opposite problem with boots, my calves always end up looking like sticks in boots. I never really thought of my calves as skinny but they must be in comparison to my foot size. Each year it’s a struggle to find boots, I try to expand my collection over time and get a pair or two each season but man I am picky! I don’t like immense amounts of hardware, overly military, overly ruffle, picky about suede, no ties, no major platform heel, has to be comfortable, has to actually fit my leg, I don’t like clunky old people heels or funky toe boxes…I am VERY picky about boots….I will look through piperlime or zappos or endless and it will take me hours to find even a couple that i’d be willing to try on…. Oh well, I suppose it saves me lots of money!
For comfortable flats, on the cheap end, I’ve had great luck with rocket dog and on the expensive end, tory burch revas!
Oh, dear. Reading through these comments a sense a certain lack of assertiveness coming through. I walk in, take my coat off, list off all my requirements (no fringe, unnecessary buckles, distressed leather, unnatural leather colors, etc.), list my concerns (my calves are sexy and muscular, but maybe a bit large), and give my price range. Then I expect the person to take all that into account and help me out. Otherwise, you might as well be doing it online!!
I got run out of Gap once, though, because when I gave the sales person my list of requirements, he flat out told me I was being too picky and said I should go elsewhere. So be prepared for rejection!!
That’s why I avoid dealing with salespeople 🙂
Did you try DSW?
And I hear you on non-ouchy boots/shoes. My favorite brands are all comfortable. I plan on writing a post about this.
haha, I really dont like the pressure of dealing with salespeople either. It’s so tough to get get it right, I don’t want them to hassle me when I first walk in, but when I find what I want to try on I don’t want to be ignored. Once they give me the shoes, I want to be alone. I like to have time to decide on my own!
Um, I am a total sucker for the guilt. And I take it one step further: I will actually BUY the shoes to save face. Then I come back later and return them. Because I am evil. And a baby.
A big, evil baby.
This is why I cannot bring myself to shop for shoes in any store where I have to get a salesperson to bring out different sizes. The guilt, the pressure, ugh, the whole thing is just way too awkward.
Having to deal with internet returns is annoying, and right now I have a tower of failed boots sitting in the corner. But at least I can do things on my schedule.
I usually wear the same black heels to work almost every day (I know, frumpy, but we have some strict footwear rules here – no open toed, no open heeled, etc.).
With boots, the past two years I’ve asked my mom to buy them for me for Christmas. Then she gets all the stress of picking them out and I just get to open the package, try them on and keep them if I like them. Imminently less stressful. 😉