No one reads blogs on Saturdays. Also, it’s a holiday weekend, so if you ARE reading blogs, WHY? Go outside. Find a patch of sun and lie in it, even it’s a two-feet-by-two-feet square of sunshine on the sidewalk in front of your local hardware store. You can wear cut-offs and a tank top or you can wear a bikini, your choice. Hell, you can wear a purple boa and some parachute pants – I won’t judge.
But if you managed to sneak your iPhone out onto your Scooby Doo beach towel with you, here are some bullets for your weekend reading pleasure:
* I am not a fan of the Swiffer for cleaning floors. It doesn’t seem to do much. We have one of the long sweepers, and it can take either a wet cloth or a dry cloth. The wet cloth is too wet at first and makes the floor all slimy, but then quickly dries out and all of a sudden you’re not sweeping anything up anymore. But the dry cloth just seems to push things around. If I’m just going to push debris into a little pile, why can’t I do it with a cheap broom… or a paper towel?
My husband claims you have to take a two-pronged approach to Swiffering which involves starting with the dry cloth and then following up with the wet cloth and there is some Very Detailed Scientific Reasoning behind it but then my eyes glaze over and I start thinking about how I haven’t watered my jade plant for two weeks and do I need to paint my toenails again and wow I am really craving a Dilly Bar. So I let him take over the Swiffering. It makes him feel helpful.
* But! The Swiffer does have one very useful application. It is particularly good at reaching spiders that are hanging out in the corners of your ceiling. Spiders that might otherwise jump on your face while you were sleeping.
I’ll let you in on a little secret. You don’t need to buy the wet OR the dry cloths to de-spider your ceiling. Just the plain old Swiffer apparatus will do.
I totally think Procter & Gamble could market the Swiffer as a spider slayer and make a bundle. Seriously – there has got to be a whole passel of people out there who have spiders lying in wait on their ceilings, just out of reach, who would totally shell out, say $4 for a special cloth-free Spider Slayer. It’s gonna be a big hit, P&G. You’re welcome.
* I just wrote “all of a sudden,” which I believe to be the CORRECT phrasing. But a lot of people say it as “all of the sudden” or even “all the sudden,” which I find quite baffling. Perhaps this is a regional difference, much like “flipping” someone off or “flicking” someone off. (I say “flipping.” But I tend not to do it unless I am really pissed at my husband and want to make a grand, angry gesture that ends up seeming totally melodramatic and ridiculous.)
* Speaking of wording that drives me bonkers… As an editor, I am particularly irritated by some common usage mistakes. (And I know no one is perfect, least of all me, and I would never think badly of YOU if you were to misuse something. Plus, I’m not talking about silly outdated rules like starting a sentence with a conjunction… or ending a sentence with a preposition… or writing fragments or run ons. I’m talking about honest to goodness WRONG.) Let’s be honest – I could come up with about 12,000 usage errors people make on a daily basis that make me crazy. But I would like to take this moment to point out that there is a difference between “loose” and “lose,” “led” and “lead,” and “lie” and “lay.” Learn the difference. (Wow – what a weird coincidence that all those examples begin with L!)
* Well, I did it! I bought two more pairs of the magic J. Crew shorts. However, I waited too long to buy them and they were once again full price. (I believe they were on sale for some ridiculously low price like $19.99 when I last mentioned them.) Let this be a lesson to you, Internet! Strike while the iron is on sale!
* I am having some Self-Esteem Issues that stem from my weight. I have a post written all about it, one that I am embarrassed terrified reluctant to post. But I think Putting It All Out There could be really good for me, and possibly really motivating. As in, if I tell you I am going to do something about losing weight, then maybe I will Get My Act in Gear. First, though, I have to get up the nerve to post about it.
* Obligatory Reality Show Bullet: I am looooving Bethenny Getting Married. Bethenny is a little strident, although I have always admired her no-holds-barred honesty and her quick wit. But on this show, we get to see this lovely vulnerable side of her. And her husband? Seems AWESOME. He is so kind and normal and so clearly loves her to bits. He reminds me of my husband in some ways. Not in the least because he puts up with Bethenny’s mini-rages the way my husband puts up with my occasional freak-outs.
While watching BGM, I saw an ad for the upcoming Rachel Zoe show, which I enjoy on occasion. It always amuses me to watch how frazzled and flappy Rachel and crew get. I mean, I know they have a job to do, and that celebrities are probably not very forgiving if you don’t have the exact pair of shoes they want to wear to the premiere of their new Nick Sparks vampire movie, but man. The frazzle! The flipping out! The over-sized clothing and 8,000 sparkly rings! The OMG-this-is-bananas-I-die DRAMA! Over… clothing. Like, this isn’t life or death, people. (Yes, yes, I know – their work still has VALUE.)
* We went to my husband’s parents’ house for a week and then we came back and apparently now we live in a trash heap. We brought about 25 paper bags full of Assorted Crap back with us… And they are now living in our entryway. About sixty days’ worth of mail is scattered on every available surface. Three or so loads of clean laundry are lying crumpled on the guest bed. Our suitcase is sitting, full, on our floor (and, in More Embarrasing Than What I Was Just Writing About News, is leaning against a suitcase that we took on a weekend trip about eight weeks ago and have yet to fully unpack). And there are dishes (rinsed) sitting on the counter, waiting for me to unload the dishwasher.
This is the point where I’d just as well move as clean up this horrific mess.
* The Fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays. As with other big holidays, my parents always made a Big Deal out of the Fourth. My dad would get a big bag of fireworks and he’d set them off in our backyard. My brother and I would play with sparklers, writing our names in the air as the twilight settled over us. My dad would grill burgers or hot dogs and my mom would make a heap of potato salad, and she’d follow dinner up with a lovely cake decorated in red, white, and blue. When it grew dark enough, we’d watch the town fireworks display from our porch, so far away we couldn’t hear the explosions. We’d watch as the sky lit up with reds and blues and greens. We’d oooh and aaaah together, snuggled up in blankets, as the dark was punctured with glittering reminders that our country may be flawed, but it is great and worth fighting for.
* * * * *
If you have ignored my very helpful suggestion to go lie on your sidewalk, please say hello and let me know wassup with you this fine Saturday. And have yourself a wonderful Independence Day.
ha, I’m reading because I just got up 🙂 But I had to say something because I, too, use Swiffers to kill bugs out of reach. In fact, that’s pretty much the only reason I keep them around. That or my dustbuster gets them quite nicely, too, but just doesn’t kill them…
I, too, am reading because I just got up! But we have big plans for the day, so don’t you worry =) Independence Day shall be celebrated (and not by reading blogs).
My Swiffer method is to always sweep first. Because no matter what anyone says, the Swiffing Pad doesn’t pick up the chunky stuff. But it is helpful for cleaning the registers.
Also, I’m glad to know BGM is as good as I’d hoped. I’m DVRing it but haven’t had a chance to watch yet. I’m a huge RHofNYC fan and was glad when my favorite housewife (even though she’s not a housewife or even a wife in the show) got a spinoff. =)
Finally, it is absolutely “all of a sudden,” and “all the sudden” drives me up a wall, even when my dear husband says it.
Have a great 4th!
i read blogs on saturdays, post-workout, and pre-dissertation writing. boo hiss dissertation, i say, but in order to obtain the hefty paycheck of a doctor (HA!) one must make some sacrifices, especially on beautiful, balmy, 80 degree sunny days in the District.
re: swiffer issues, i have found that a combo of sweeping, using a paper towel with a cleaning spray to do a once over, then going with the wet swiffer has made my floors lovely and refreshed. if floors can even feel ‘refreshed’? i digress.
and sweets, if you posted about your weight, i can gaurandamntee that there will be several other women who can empathize and relate with your plight, you’re never alone, honestly!
enjoy the weekend – my desk and i will wistfully peruse photos of the holiday weekend that many a blogger will inevitably post!
I’m home alone while my husband is up in DC, so I am here… reading blogs. Actually… I’m addicted.
As soon as I read the title of your blog I thought “Oh no, she’s killing bugs again!” Lol, remember the last time? 😉
Speaking of strange phrases… the one that has been driving me crazy is the phrase “out of the question” – I mean… say it.. a few time. “Going to the beach is out of the question.” Ummm… it’s out of the possibility of asking the question of whether we can go to the beach? How do these words make sense?!
I sweep, with a regular broom, and then swiffer. When I am out of swiffer bads, and too lazy to buy more I put a paper towel on the swiffer (which might be nice for killing spiders!) and spray it with… what ever cleaning product I have. Ta-da! Then it’s not TOO wet, but it gets up the dirt.
I say flip, and all of a sudden… but now when I say it, I will probably be bothered by that phrase too! lol.
Happy 4th!
I’m Canadian, so my holiday was on Thursday 🙂 Now I’m reading blogs in bed, waiting for T to get up.
I also find my swiffer useless, but you better believe it’s going to become a spider killing machine soon. Possibly an ant killing machine in the summer. I may even put on a dry cloth for easy corpse removal. I never use those darn dry cloths anyways.
Happy long weekend to you! 🙂
Oh god. That makes me the only lame person who is reading because they really have nothing to do today. I will blame it on the rain. It’s been raining for four days straight. I’m going to see Eclipse tonight! Does that make me more or less lame?
You have the wrong Swiffer, it’s as simple as that! I have the Swiffer Wet Jet, and I think it does a dandy job on my floors. It’s never to wet, and if it’s too dry, I just push the little trigger for more spray. Genius! Although, I do not think it would be a very effective bug killer because of the gigantic bottle of cleaning solution.
You know I’ve been kind of sort of dieting, and I’ve already noticed a difference. I’ll email you what I’m doing 🙂
It’s approximately 80 gazillion degrees outside and I am not leaving my air conditioned apartment unless someone offers me much money (or ice cream). So that explains the use of my Saturday afternoon reading blogs.
The hardwood floors in our apartment require sweeping, real sweeping. But if we’re going to mop, we’ll sweep, Swiffer, and THEN mop. Cleaning is a constant process.
I say all of the sudden. I also say pop. I also have a tendency to drop the “to” in infinitive phrases (i.e. It needs washed instead of it needs to be washed). I’m a hick. What can I say? I don’t know the difference between lie and lay and even thought I’ve read many, many clear, articulate explanations, I just rewrite sentences so as to avoid using either word.
A relaxed attitude is definitely the way to go! I think we’re bringing au naturel back in style. 🙂 By the way, CONGRATULATIONS on making it through intern year!!
First-time reader here – reading on a Saturday NIGHT no less because it’s my 3rd year med student husband’s second-ever day and night of call and I’ve been bored out of my skull all day. I just finished law school so have been at least as busy as he has been since we got married, making this transition to a regular job for me and absolute craziness for him a little rocky. (For me at least – he’s still enthralled with the wonders of the hospital.)
Anyway, thought I’d scan your blog for thoughts and have been happy to find them (though I must admit some of your posts are terrifying re: the future). Now I just have to remember what I did during free time on my own before I got married . . .
I had a big ol’ comment typed up, my mom said she needed to check her email and then BAM my big complaint about how I didn’t read your blog on Saturday because I have been fighting for computer time with the whole dang family – WAS GONE!
Sooooooooo… now I am going to start all over again. Minus the big rant about having to share the computer with the whole family. And how insanely tiring it is to visit family. And did I mention that I am tired?
Sun. We haven’t had any! But apparently it’s going to be into the 90’s for the rest of the week here so I will be breaking out the boa – ahem – I mean bikini and soaking up some of those rays. I am pretty sure the iphone will be joining me as well.
Swiffer as a cleaning device. Not so much (as my four year old would say) I am an old fashioned mop and pail kinda gal – I guess getting on your hands and knees with the bucket of water and a cloth would be more old fashioned but you get what I am saying. PS I really need to paint my toe nails too.
Swiffer as a spider slayer. Brilliant. You could make millions off that, and I would be the first to pick it up. I have been sucking them up with the vacuum but this swiffer idea would give me visual confirmation that they are dead. Again, brilliant.
Wording. Oh sweet mercy. I know that I am not perfect but there are a few that drive me insane also…. and of course at this early hour I can’t think of what they are, but when I hear/read it I am coming back to let you know.
Magic shorts. I hate when I go back to find something that I LOVE and can’t… pain in the ass. But at least you found them right? And they’re magic. That’s all that matters.
BGM. Either I can’t find these shows in Canada or they don’t play them until six months later. I need to watch that!
Rachel Zoe. For the love of life. Definitely not life and death… but clearly entertaining to watch them flip out. Oh the drama.
I can only imagine what our house is going to look like when we get home. Three kids and one big person worth of disgusting mess AND two weeks of mail. Hold me.
Annnnnnnd that brings me to the fourth of July. I am Canadian soooooo it’s fairly insignificant but I hope you had a wonderful day 🙂
Enjoy your week!! And the sun!! And your spider slayer!!
I remember watching fireworks all snuggled up as well! Um, we did not do that this year in the 90 degree heat. Gooner slept through them all ROCKSTAR kid. The cleanup is always terrible after a trip. And dishes, oh dear. We had company that arrived at 3:34 and left at ten thirty! Um wow. It was a loooooooooooong day BECAUSE even though they SAID they were bring bathing suits….THEY DIDN’T. So what do you do with “sorta” friends when supper is at 6 and firworks aren’t until 9:30…. And that is after the 3:34 to 6 small talk… hmmmmmmmmmmmm. It might have been the most awkward 4th ever! AND the guy stepped on Gooner. I mean I KNOW she’s little and in his defense she did “sneak” up on him, but he stepped on my kid. So she of course cried and wouldn’t go near him the rest of the night. I’m just complaining here. Online. To a friend I’ve never met…. I guess I had to get something off my chest. blah.
Oh and if you put that last comment under the grammar hammer, um FAIL.
Happy belated Independence Day! Hope you had a good one.
You know I can probably relate to whatever you’re thinking about weight/body issues. I complain about that crap all the time and you are super supportive, so I’m here if you ever want to vent, too.
Second, I gave away my Swiffer last year when we got a wet/dry duster thingie as a wedding gift. This mop has three interchangeable heads, one of which is a lambswool duster that picks up SO much more dust/cat hair than the Swiffer ever did. The other two covers are a scrubber and a sponge-y mop thing. All three covers are washable, which means no Swiffer cloth waste (and no need to go to Target to buy this one thing and leave spending $150… not that I ever do that). This is what we have: http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/wet-dry-duster-mop-and-floor-cleaning-collection/
Third, my grammar pet peeve is “I feel badly.” It’s just “I feel bad,” peeps.
Your blog is always such a party, Mrs. D!! All this feedback must be great. I wonder what it would be like in real life, if all us bloggy ladies met up for drinks for a girl’s night out? If that ever happens, count me in. I’m sure it’d be a blast.
Messes are frustrating, but at least you care. Ever watch those hoarding shows? Lol……You can get back to better-than-normal in no time! I spent 5 hours cleaning today — from dishes to handwashing dress shirts and I’ve yet to iron them at 11 pm! Jer is on call so I’ll probably just be up all night. The dust is insane and with his allergies I have to always be on top of it. I wonder how this will work when I’m in school full time… I feel like maintaining everything is a full time job! (which is why the prospect of babies absolutely terrifies me, but that’s another story!)
I have huge issues about my weight as well. It’s especially frustrating because this time I’m losing weight super slowly (nearly 10lbs a year for the last 2.5 years), and 5 lbs so far this year. Luckily we are not as fat as the woman I spoke about on my blog tonight. It definitely helps you get perspective when you see other people and their individual struggles. You don’t have anything to fear about posting embarrassing stuff because as women, we’ve all been there (or are there…like myself).