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I am not good at taking vacation. Because I am a workaholic perfectionist worrywart weirdo.
For many years, the nature of my career made it extraordinarily difficult to take a vacation. Let’s just say that it required pushing a lot of people to also get their work done ahead of time just so I could leave. NOT EASY. Also, sooooooo stressful.
So for many years, my “vacations” consisted of me taking my computer to some exotic locale and working while my family enjoyed a vacation. Since we often went to the west, and my office is in the east, I would be able to work from 6:00 to 4:00 and still have a few hours of daylight to devote to family fun. A few times, I tried working half days. Which meant 6:00 to noon. But it’s hard to leave at noon when your coworkers think that you are working. IT’S HARD.
But a “working vacation” is not actually a vacation. It’s work. It’s work because you have to remind your coworkers that you are on vacation or are only working part time. It’s work because you have to remind your family members that you are working. It’s work because you have to force yourself not to pout that you are stuck at a computer while your family is sleeping in and going to the lake. It’s work because YOU ARE WORKING.
Basically, it sucks. Don’t ever do it.
Last year, I took two vacations from work. One for the wedding. One for our honeymoon. It was stressful preparing for these vacations. But they were worth it. And the honeymoon? Where we had nothing to do but sight see and eat delicious French pastries and explore charming French streets and… um… enjoy the beautiful and outrageously expensive hotel (which Husband’s parents paid for! Yay! Thank you!) and the chocolate lollipops the cleaning staff placed on our pillows each night…
That was a vacation. It was relaxing. It was romantic. It was Won. Der. Ful.
Our upcoming two week vacation will not be quite the same.
My husband’s residency program gives each resident four full weeks of vacation. “Wow!” you might say. “That is awesome!”
Is it? Eh.
Because those four weeks? MUST occur in two-week segments. So. Despite the fact that I am a freelancer and I do not actually GET vacation… and if I were to have an office job, I would probably get only two weeks of vacation per year TOTAL… We now have four weeks where my husband will be off and we must use them two weeks at a time.
I am not complaining. (Okay, I am not complaining a lot.) The first two weeks, we didn’t know about enough in advance for me to take them off. So I think we went to Chicago for a weekend and then my husband hung around the house for a week or so. I can’t really remember. WHAT A WASTER.
Now, our next two weeks are coming up.
I am taking two whole weeks off of work. Which has already got me quite anxious, even though the vacay is MONTHS away. (I need to lose weight, people! I need to think about it NOW!) So that’s a good thing.
But we kind of didn’t really think about this vacation, I guess. We didn’t plan some romantic getaway for the two of us. We aren’t going back to Paris to recreate our honeymoon. (WHY NOT?!?!)
Instead, we are spending one week out West, skiing with my parents… And then we will fly immediately to California to spend a week golfing and playing tennis with Husband’s parents. (Side Note: I do not know how to golf or play tennis. Also, I have no hand-eye coordination. AT ALL.)
…
I am looking forward to it. I love my family. I love Husband’s family.
Plus, we are going skiing at a resort where I spent many winter breaks as a kid… the same resort where we got married. And then we are going to California, to the same spot that Husband and his family went every year for spring break.
So there’s sentimental value. And lots of Good Family Fun ahead of us.
But… Perhaps if I had thought things through… I would have suggested that we spend one week with one family… and the other week together. ALONE.
It’s hard, though, to disappoint your family. I haven’t seen my parents since Husband’s graduation, so obviously I want to see them. And I know Husband’s parents would be hurt if we chose to spend our vacation with my parents and not with them. (Yes, even though they got us for Christmas. It’s not the same.)
But I think we are going to need to be a little more selfish when future vacations come up. If I can take time off, we should find a cute bed and breakfast somewhere, and spend two weeks relaxing with and enjoying each other.
If we can get over the whole Hurting Our Loving Families issue.
…
What are you looking forward to, Internet? Any upcoming vacays in the mix? Do tell!
I’m looking forward to something that will be arriving around Valentine’s Day. I can’t reveal “what” will be arriving – but I will reveal it once it does 🙂
I am looking forward to SPRING. It’s not really THAT far away….and then, we will have warm sunshine and green grass and WARM sunshine.
🙂
Oh goodness, I totally understand that predicament about family time versus alone time. I think you’re right to want to be “selfish” in future vacations. Remember, though, that it isn’t selfish to take care of your marriage. It benefits everyone– family included– if you are happily married.
Vacation planning is tough because we already don’t have a lot of money OR time, and we have to make it all work- family time, alone time, “splurging” within the confines of what residency allows.
This week J is on vacation and he’s home studying while I work and our daughter is in day care. We couldn’t afford a getaway, and he needs to study. So here we are.
All that said, I hope you have a wonderful vacation! It’s exciting to have that to look forward to.
Like you and Mr. D, we live far from our family and many of our closest friends. All of our travel time is spent going to weddings and related events (The Wedding Circuit as we like to call it) and holidays with family. We also make sure he gets a few boys weekends per year and I get a few girl weekends per year. And so now, after 7 years of togetherness (1.5 married) – we look back and can’t really see any vacations we took just the two of us. We had our honeymoon and thanks to my husband, a wonderful engagementmoon… And I can think of one solo weekend trip (Santa Barbara) – but that is it. That’s it! Craziness. I’d like to be pregnant before 2010 ends (and I’m aiming for Nov) – and it makes me so sad to think that we haven’t been vacationing solo more before we have children. 🙁 We NEED to make vacationing as a couple a priority. But it is so hard when there are only so many vacation days in a year (and only so many vacation $$) and they must also go to visiting family and weddings. Sigh.
I second Bea! Your families might be a little disappointed, but the most important relationship in your life is the one with your husband. But those weeks do sound amazing! Lucky you!
It’s soooo hard trying to please everybody all the time…um, I really WANT to do Thanksgiving at MY house…and the inlaws are nearby….blah, blah, blah…We’re always looking for a happy medium between “not offending” and taking care of OUR needs. Good luck on your vacation time…sounds doable!
yeah, it’s always hard to make and protect time for just the two of you, I think. I hope you guys get some good alone time together while you’re on your family trips!
What part of CA? The whole state is having storms now (well, ‘storms,’ which probably compared to the rest of the country isn’t too impressive), but hopefully by then it’ll have cleared up.
As a future freelancer I’m sure this will be a problem for me, as I am a workaholic in many ways. But alas, your planned vacation sounds quite fun! In Feb/March, boyfriend and I are going to Cabo San Lucas with some friends. It’s hard for him to go anywhere or relax on vacation because he’s mister big CEO of a medium sized company. But, I’ll enjoy any time off I can get, as long as I don’t have anything looming over me.. it has to ALL BE DONE.
I hate being in that situation! You want your vacation but you don’t want to hurt your family’s feeling.
I think your plan sounds like fun and you’ll have a blast with both of the families. Just be sure to take a day or two just for you guys!
Sounds like fun. 🙂
Someday, I’m going to take a real vaca! For right now, I do usually work through mine, but you’ve inspired me 🙂
I’ve always wondered what restrictions they put on a resident’s vacation.
For the past two years we have vacationed with our parents and loved it 1) because we love our families 2) because we are poor and cannot afford to go on vacation ourselves and 3) because we get to see a decent amount, but not our families, so incorporating both our families into our vacation is very convenient for us!
DH and I already worry about how we are going to spend our vacations. He wants to stay put (home) and let anyone and everyone come to visit us, OR go home and visit family/friends for ALL his vacations. I am trying to suggest that we take at least ONE vacation alone because I am already anticipating how much I will miss him with the crazy residency hours!