We are in the throes of Christmas Is Only! Two! Weeks! Away! over here, trying to order presents and decorate (so far I have a wreath on my front door and that is purely because my mother sent it to me) and make chocolates and plan when we are going to finally get a tree. It really sneaks up on you, doesn’t it, this holiday that occurs at the exact same time every single year?

This is also a week with a birthday party, a holiday party, a wedding anniversary (mine), and a viewing of The Nutcracker — plus, of course, all the regular After School Activities. Just thinking of it all is enough to make me want to hide under the porch until February.  And yet my family wants, nay, DEMANDS to be fed! I would consider subsisting on slices of cheese from the fridge and maybe a few handfuls of cereal or almonds here and there, but that doesn’t sound like particularly good parenting/wife-ing. A day or two maybe. But not ALL WEEK.

So. Dinners this week. Have I thought about them at ALL? No, I am not going to lie. I have given them zero thought. Let’s do some quick thinking, and maybe rely on some Greatest Hits members of the menu hall of fame. You know. Things I can make with my eyes closed, and for which I usually have ingredients on hand.

There is that pesky anniversary in there. We tried to get a babysitter and FAILED, so I will have to come up with something festive-adjacent so we can Properly Commemorate Our Love or something.

ALSO, fortunately, this is the first week of our HelloFresh meals, so that gives me both wiggle room AND two fewer meals to plan. Woo hoo! I almost don’t care if they are edible, they have given me the gift of less planning and as we all know that is the best gift of all.

Dinners for the Week of December 10-December 16

• Tacos
• HelloFresh Meal #1: Creamy Chive Salmon with Roasted Potato Wedges and Lemony Zucchini

Note: This was DELICIOUS. The sauce was so yummy, and it was fairly easy to make. I was pretty annoyed though that one of the, like, five small potatoes that were included was so rotten I had to throw it away. AND they forgot the lemon. Luckily, I had both a lemon and some extra potatoes on hand, so the meal was saved. But it wasn’t the best first impression.

• HelloFresh Meal #2: Diced Pork Carnitas with Pickled Onion and Monterey Jack Cheese

Note: This was… okay. The pork was a little bit fatty. And the spice mix was a little too salty. I made some black beans and ate those as my protein instead and honestly, that was a lot better than the pork mixture. So I am going into week 2 with some trepidation.

• Pesky Anniversary Meal: Garlic and Herb Marinated Oven-Roasted Steak with Steamed Broccoli and Couscous

Note: HA! We totally did NOT do this. My husband picked up Indian food instead and it was amazing. No cooking and we got to eat with our daughter. Plus my husband brought me roses, which was a huge surprise because I was SURE he wasn’t going to. He is a keeper, that guy.

• Out
• Chipotle Marinated Pork Chops with Roasted Green Beans

Note: We did not eat these. I think we had microwave meals instead. WORTH IT. I am so over cooking lately!

• Chili

How is there no chicken on this meal plan? That seems… odd. Oh well. There’s always the option of going off-plan and doing a game-time swap. What do that call that in football? Calling an audible? What a ridiculous term for switching the play at the last minute. Unless I am totally mangling/mixing up football terminology. In which case, carry on.

By the way, every time I log onto the HelloFresh website, it reminds me that I have FREE MEALS to give away. See? Like this:

I have also been getting emails to this effect, which may be a deterrent to my next question which is: would YOU like to try HelloFresh? I obviously can’t vouch for it just yet. And I don’t know what “free boxes” means, exactly – and I am suspicious. But so far it seems to be a pretty low-risk proposition; you can cancel any time. So let me know if you want to give it a whirl and I will email you the FREE MEALS. Just kidding; email doesn’t work that way. But I will send you the email that takes to you to your free boxes sign-up.

Now tell me what YOU are eating for dinner this week, Internet. Or, alternately, how panicky or calm you feel as the days tick down to this out-of-absolutely-NOWHERE holiday.