The fact is, no matter how much you WANT someone to come up with things on his/her own…
…to want to DO certain things on his/her own…
…or at least to acknowledge that SOME things are the responsibility of BOTH members of the household, and should therefore be done by each member of the household approximately half of the time…
…or to note – with his/her own eyes – that certain things need doing, and then to at least ASK if it would be helpful if he/she took care of them…
…or even simply to understand that the small act of doing those things is a) thoughtful and b) going to alleviate frustration and possible yelling on the part of the other member of the household…
Well, the fact is that WANTING these things to happen amounts to just short of nothing.
And yet I cannot help the wanting. Even though it leads to major frustration on my part.
However! What I cannot seem to get through MY thick skull is that there is a Simple Answer!
All I have to do is ASK the other member of my household to take care of Annoying Thing That It Seems Like Only I Ever Do, and magically, he takes care of it!
If only I could REMEMBER that simple step, I would save myself YEARS of put-upon grumbling and resentfully forceful dishwashing/trashcan-emptying/refrigerator-clearing!
lol. But it’s not the same when you ask…
It has taken me years….YEARS….to realize that most men can’t read a woman’s mind about anything……and yes…it can be just easier to ask them to do something than to expect them to see it needs to be done.
AMEN! I didn’t know it either. 8 years here. But I’m learning too!
I am fairly sure that constantly reminding myself of these facts is the KEY to a happy marriage. More than anything else. And, the more I practice asking, the more I’ve noticed sometimes I don’t HAVE to ask, every single time. It is magic. HARD magic.
I need to do more of that. I tend to just do it myself.
It has also taken me years to understand that all I needed to do was ask. It has been a sanity saver.