The first thing you need to know is that I come from a part of the country where people like to give their kids Super Original Potentially Made Up names.
Listen, I’m fine with that. Naming a child is a totally personal choice. And picking a Super Original Potentially Made Up Name or using Creative Spelling to Transform a Regular Old Boring Name Into Something Special are both perfectly reasonable understandable popular ways to name your offspring.
I get the desire to differentiate your kid from all the other kiddos out there. I can understand why you’d want your child to feel special and unique and one-of-a-kind. Those are loving dreams to have for your child. And if you can give her a head start on achieving those dreams you have for her, perhaps by naming her something special and unique and one-of-a-kind, well, I GET that. (Well, I don’t REALLY get it, in that I am not a parent. But I get it as much as a non-parent CAN.)
I also get that names are subjective – just like movies and books and wallpaper vs. paint. Maybe I think Eminem’s Marshall Mathers LP is one of the top 5 albums* ever made, but that doesn’t mean I expect you to agree with me, or to even list it in the top 1,000 albums ever made. Maybe I find Dance Moms to be perfectly enjoyable. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t FULLY JUSTIFIED in thinking I am wasting my time and brain cells on that filth perfectly good programming.
Naming your child “Thunder” because no one else will ever have that name or respelling “Alexandra” as “Alyxxendra”… well, those names are not my kind of names. But just because they aren’t my kind of names doesn’t make them bad or inferior. It makes some of them interesting, sure. And I’m not going to lie – I have made some judgmental eye-rolls at some of the names I’ve heard. But come on. SUBJECTIVE.
Anyway, whenever we encounter a name like Bryleeah or Key’linn, my husband calls them “[Wife’s Town Name] Names.” And it irritates me a little, because a) my hometown is not the only town where people make up or creatively spell names, and b) some of those made-up/creatively-spelled names belong to my friends, and c) some of those made-up/creatively-spelled names belong to my friends’ kids, and d) did he not hear my whole spiel about names being SUBJECTIVE?
What I’m trying to say is this: When a high school friend/Facebook “friend” (who still lives in our hometown) asked for name suggestions for her baby boy, I was prepared for some creative options.
But the names her friends volunteered were pretty tame: Braedon. Aurel. Trayton. Tron. Ferrin.
What surprised me was one thread started by a long-time teacher.
My friend (“friend”) asked, “Does anyone have a good boy’s name? We’re trying to find a good one!”
Her teacher friend responded, “The name you choose depends on what kind of kid you want. I believe that your name gives you your personality. And I haven’t been wrong in 25 years as a teacher.”
Um.
Okay. That idea – that you can influence your child’s personality by choosing a certain type of name – is kind of fun and interesting.
For instance, if I were choosing a name for a character in a book I was writing, a “Tiffany” would have a totally different personality than a “Roberta.”
But that’s based on a whole set of personal biases, built up over years of meeting people and watching TV and reading books from the safety of my own personal brain.
Probably, based on your own cultural and personal experiences and assumptions and prejudices, you have a specific “type” in mind when you hear those names.
But I doubt that my vision of a “Tiffany” is the same as yours. Same with our visions of a “Roberta.” (Excepting, perhaps, that you’d most likely put “Tiffany” at around age 26 and “Roberta” at around age 67. That’s simply because “Roberta” was most popular between 1935 and 1953 and Tiffany was most popular between 1970 and 1999, so if you’ve encountered women with those names, they most likely fall into those age ranges.) (Listen, that was a very rough age estimate based on data from the Social Security baby names website, and I’m not good at math. So “average” is a VERY ROUGH TERM.)
Anyway, names DO come with “baggage.” Your personal experiences and biases affect your response to a name.
Even so, Internet, don’t those biases go away (or at least fade) once you’ve met the person?
Say the only Shayla you’ve ever met is shy and brooding and studious. So if I say, “Hey, I’m bringing my cousin Shayla to dinner next week!” you might picture a shy, brooding, studious woman.
But if you meet her, and she turns out to be a blonde tomboy with a sharp wit and a boisterous laugh and poor grammar… well, you’re not going to say something like, “All Shaylas have the same personality.”
Maybe the only Angie you ever knew was a huge bully. So when you hear that name, you think “bully.”
But does that mean you automatically assume that all Angies are bullies? Or that you believe that the name “Angie” is synonymous with “bullying personality,” and that’s that, no matter what?
With me here? Because I’m not quite sure I’m with me. Let’s see if this gets better/clearer…
I guess what I’m trying (poorly) to say is, I find it difficult to believe that you can bestow a specific personality upon someone when you name her.
If my parents had named me “Jill” instead of what they DID name me, I don’t think I would be any different. Well, I’d be less annoyed by the people who CANNOT SPELL OR PRONOUNCE my name, even if I say and/or spell it FOR THEM, FTLOG it’s not HARD or that UNUSUAL. But other than that, I’m pretty sure I’d be the same shy, reality-TV loving, hot-sauce eating, easy-to-cry, socially awkward person I am today.
Okay, sure, names themselves have a sort of personality. “Rose” might have some sort of universally feminine quality, for instance… Or “Victoria” might have some sort of perceived sense of classicality and strength… Or “Tom” might convey a sense of friendliness and approachability… I know baby books sometimes group names into categories like “fanciful and fantastical” or “macho swagger.” And I’d guess that many parents choose names with the idea that some of the name’s characteristics might rub off on their children.
But it became clear that this Facebook teacher (oh lordy, I just had an image of future children going to a class about Facebook, and having lessons about how to stalk your ex without getting caught by your boss or how to word the perfectly vague yet intriguing status update that will get ten million people to ask you questions about a “problem” you have no intention of discussing)… Well, I got a little lost in that parenthetical so let’s start over:
But it became clear that this Facebook teacher did not differentiate between name and actual person. Her philosophy is that all children of a certain name share not only personality traits, but, well, more.
Here are some of the examples she gave: **
- “All Brickabracks are troublemakers. In 25 years, I never had a Brickabrack who behaved in class.”
- “Hoozits are always winners. They exhibit perfect behavior, although they often possess just a bit of mischievousness. They’re highly intelligent and very good looking. I often called them ‘Handsome Hoozits’ when I had them in my class. They also talk more than most boys do.”
- “Jobajabs are loyal and well-behaved. But they only have average intelligence and looks.”
- “Speebles will drive you straight to the mental institution unless you tell them how brilliant and good looking they are 30 times a day.”
- “Dobbledeeboos are super attractive and very intelligent.”
- “I only ever had two Gooblabs, but they were both know-it-all sourpusses and tattlers. Only average in intelligence and appearance.”
(Seriously, lady. What is with the commentary on the looks?)
(She also had this little “altercation” with another commenter, who asked what she thought of boys with the name Tuskadee. [By the way, it was clear that the commenter was asking because she had a kid named Tuskadee.] Facebook teacher said, “Tuskadees are good, rule-following kids who don’t cause trouble.” The other person asked, “So the Tuskadees aren’t good looking?” And Facebook teacher replied, “They are regular-looking kids.” WHAT KIND OF CONVERSATION IS THIS?!?!)
I was… a little… thrown by this thread, Internet.
I can’t imagine sending my child to school with a perfectly good name (or not! maybe my name choices don’t float your boat!) only to have him pigeonholed by a teacher as a Certain Type.
Yes, I’m sure teachers (and doctors and employers and spouses) pigeonhole their students (and patients and employees and spouses) all the time for any number of reasons. And I know labels of any kind – gifted, ADHD, troublemaker, kiss-up, class-clown, jock, shy, geek, whatever – can leads to all sorts of problems or advantages for a child… and they can stick for years, if not forever.
But seriously… We’re going to use NAMES as personality indicators? Not just indicators, but set-in-stone commandments?
There was a whole chapter in Freakonomics on names. It’s been years since I read that book, but I seem to remember that the authors’ argument was that names can have a big impact on the course of a person’s life. Kids named Yale, for instance, often ended up in prison. (Or whatever. It’s been a long time and the book is in the other room and… yeah. You get my vague and admittedly poor memory instead.) And job applicants with ethnic-sounding names got hired less often than people with identical resumes and less-ethnic names. (This is not about whether I believe Freakonomics.) (I don’t. I find it interesting, but I’m not going to take it as gospel. Although the name interpretation chapter was really… eye opening.)
So, clearly, name choice and what a name says about a child is a Big Topic. One that I have neither enough knowledge of nor energy to pursue in this post.
I was so… surprised by the Facebook teacher’s views on names and that you “have to know what kind of child you want” before you pick a name… And I really wanted to Say Something about it. But I can’t really figure out what that Something is. Or how to say it.
So I guess I will leave you with this quote from the Facebook teacher:
“All kids are good kids. But every year when my fellow teachers and I got our class rosters, we’d ask, ‘Anybody get any Brickabracks? Anybody get any Whatchums?’ And if you had these kids in your class, you knew you were in for some trouble.”
Seriously? Does this woman not know that PEOPLE READ THESE COMMENTS?
And a few questions:
1. Do you find Facebook Teacher’s thoughts on the subject of naming as wackadoo peculiar as I do?
2. If you are a parent, did you pick your child’s/children’s names based on a particular personality you associated with the name?
3. Do you know of any names that are – 90% of the time, let’s say – representative of a specific personality? And if so, what is the name and what personality (and intelligence and looks, if you like) comes with that name?
4. Do you think this Facebook teacher is just a typical Facebook dingbat, or do you think other teachers are out there saying, “Oh boy, I’ve got another Ukler in my class this year. I better just give him Cs right now, since all Uklers are average students.”?
And, just for fun:
5. What is the most unusual real-life name you’ve ever come across?
6. How would you pronounce the name “Aurel”? Oral? Aural? Some other way?
—
* The other four? Weezer’s Blue Album, Phoenix’s Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, The Beatles’s Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, and Garth Brooks’s No Fences.
** Names and grammar changed to protect the innocent and my eyes/high opinions of teachers, respectively.
When I was 11 I wished with my whole heart that my parents had named me Tiffany or Candi (signed with a heart, of course), so your Tiffany is probably nearing 40, rather than 26.
I bet that that teacher’s attitude about names is probably not the only thing wrong with her approach to teaching. Just sayin’.
I was a teacher, for a while, and no, I never associated any particular trait with a name.
Most unusual name: I swear to you this is true, I am not imaginative enough to make this up. A few years ago I was sitting in Family Court in Camden, NJ (consistently ranked the poorest and most violent city in all of America), when the bailiff got up to call the next case, paused, looked around, looked back at the paper, looked up, visibly struggled, took a deep breath and said “In re the matter of Shithead Smith and Shitass Smith.”
A woman with twin toddlers stood up, barked out “Its Shih-TEED and Shih-TOSS,” you idiot!”
I got a look at the roster, they were spelled Shithead and Shitass. Those poor kids.
I just… don’t know what to say. Why are multiple people giving their children these kinds of names?
Oh, man. While you were writing this post, did you think to yourself, “You know who’s going to love this post? Swistle, that’s who.”
“Everyone named Tiffany is _____” is just as ridiculous a theory as “Everyone born on August 18 is ______.” And it seems extremely unscientific and unobservant for someone (ESPECIALLY a teacher, who has such an unusually large sample to work with) to claim otherwise. I might agree if she wanted to make broad remarks about how people with a TYPE of name TEND to be ____ (because of issues about the kinds of families that MIGHT have a TENDENCY to use the names), though I’d think it was a tacky discussion. But to say that EVERYONE NAMED A NAME is the same, and it can be predicted in advance from the class list—well, my conclusion is that she’s a bad teacher. Imagine having her decide in advance that a child was good or bad (or handsome or ordinary-looking, FTLOG), before even meeting the child! Imagine her failing to notice the children who fall outside her theory! Year after year!
I DO make generalizations about certain names, which is why it’s so distressing when a character in a book is poorly-named. But I’ve met enough people who are totally unlike those generalizations (the only Tiffany I know is studious, smart, and shy), that I’ve realized that the generalizations are only useful for books (and for being careful not to give a child a name widely considered to be ____, in case they’re NOT), not for ACTUAL LIFE.
(Can you tell my mind is kind of blown by this teacher? Seriously. What a Bertha.)
How could I NOT think of you when I wrote this?!
Yes! I CRINGE knowing that this woman taught for 25 years! Applying her theory to hundreds and thousands of children! Relegating certain kids to the corner or assigning certain kids the dunce cap or readying her packet of gold stars for certain kids from the moment she read their names on the roster! How many kids went home in tears, wondering, “Why doesn’t Mrs. Facebook Teacher like me?”
1. I do find it very peculiar. I have judged others on names, but am usually proven wrong (like the Shayla example you gave).
2. We picked our daughter’s name because we liked it and it isn’t common, but isn’t weird (Eriana). I think it sounds dignified and would go well with Dr. in front of it or Esq. after it. But I’d she is, say, a stripper or a professional athlete it is normal enough to work.
3. I think names like Barbie give an illusion of a dingbat blonde and Nancy gives an illusion of an older woman, but I don’t think many people hold to that or would be SO! SURPRISED! that their biochemistry professor is named Barbie or their 20-something waitress at Chili’s is named Nancy.
4. I sure hope teachers don’t really do that. Heaven forbid. That teacher makes me mad just thinking about it.
5. Strangest name I have come across in real life… Um. I think Port. I don’t think of it as a name. It’s where ships dock. Of course, his brother is called Hanes and I only think of it as a name for.underwear.
6. Aurel I would pronounce R-el.
Oooh – I love “Eriana.” I’m pronouncing it like “Ariana” (air-ee-ah-nuh). And you’re right – uncommon but not weird.
Ariana means “naked” in Arabic.
I’m a younger Nancy, and I was always a bit irritated that all the other Nancys were so.so.old. (Hello, Nancy Regan to a elementary schooler? Old.) But, until last year it never occurred to me that people were not expecting someone my age. (I sound and look younger than I am anyway.) I went to get a haircut with a new haircutter, and she (Sara was her name) basically told me that she was expecting someone much older, what with the name Nancy.
That really tilted my axis…
FB Teacher is a wack-job. Personality is so much more than a name.
Pigeon-holing, however, is rampant. I probably do it some myself, when I’m caught surprised by the way someone looks in person that I’ve spoken to on the phone or just known their name.
Also, my 5-years younger brother refused to admit to being related to me in high school. I was kindof a smart-alec. (read: bitch)
Also, there was a Shi’ thead in my high school. I can take a pic of the yearbook pic to prove it. Poor, poor, misunderstood girl.
That is one of the examples of a horrendous name given in Freakonomics. How awful that there are MULTIPLE of these poor people floating around out there! Even if a name has some sort of cultural significance or means something lovely in a different language or has a beautiful sound when you use the preferred pronunciation, if it’s a curse word in the language of the place where that kid has to live, it should NOT be an option. KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE, PEOPLE.
This is such and interesting topic. My name is Heather and I have often felt like I was treated a certain way because of my name. Think “Heathers”, the movie from the 80s. I don’t feel that way so much now, although I sometimes wonder if I am taken seriously. I feel like the fact that my name was such a trendy name in the 70s and 80s makes it a less respectable name.
Also, I worked as a school-based speech and language pathologist for 5 years and had 80 kids on my caseload each year. There were definitely names I did NOT pick because of certain students I had. It wasn’t that I thought my kid would turn out the same way, it was just that my experience with that student ruined the name for me.
Oh yes – there are many names that have been ruined for me by bad experiences. Or even just regular experiences… For instance, I really liked my first boss, but I wouldn’t give a child her name because the association to her is too strong.
Yes and no. I taught at a really bad school. And there are definitely SOME links between names and behavior. But that is because parents who name their kids certain things are more likely to be better parents. For example, Samantha in my class was better behaved than the kid named something a lot more…interesting. But this isn’t at all anything you can count on or PLAN AHEAD with. However, I totally want to know what names she was talking about.
My favorite real life names that I’ve come across are twins named India and Asia. But spelled way weird.
And to answer #3, I’ve had a lot of bad luck with Jasons. But I actually like the name Jason. For #6, I’d say kind of like Ariel, but um, different.
I’ve only met one Jason I liked.
And I see what you and Swistle mean about certain types of children sometimes (but not always) having certain types of names, and how that reflects on the families who choose those types of names.
O.M.G. SO much to say about this.
But first, yes, Marshall Mathers LP BEST EVER, and I will fight anyone who argues with me. Also, I have never seen Garth in concert and it’s one of my “things to do before I die”. Ahem.
ANYWAY! I do think people associate certain personality traits with certain names, based solely on their experience with a person of that name. Likewise, I think that there are some universal traits associated with names (i.e. Bunny, or Martha). But I don’t think it’s fair to automatically assume that someone is a certain kind of person based on their name. Everyone is different and it’s simply impossible that every “William” is the same kind of person. I mean, literally, statistically, impossible.
I feel a bit more strongly than you about the weird name/weird spelling business. I think it’s just plain unfair. My name isn’t weird and the spelling isn’t crazy but it’s definitely the least popular spelling of the name, so I could never find anything with my name on it as a kid – and as a kid, that sucks. I saw all my Jessica and Kelly friends with pencils with their names on it and I was so jealous.
Also, I think the parents are being a tad bit selfish and not thinking on behalf of their future child. After all, Tyfaniee may be cute for a baby, but will she feel like it holds up in a board room or a court room or something like that? Probably not. I think it’s a parent’s responsibility to pick a name for their child that can serve them throughout their life and not be a source of embarrassment, which I think for most adults, a weird spelling or a weird name would be. .
And, I also believe that just because you have an original name, doesn’t mean you’ll be original. Some of the most interesting and original people I’ve ever known have been named Dan or Carol or Chris.
However, I also believe that a name grows with a person so maybe all of this is a moot point anyway. I’ve had friends name their kids things I didn’t like and thought was weird, but now I can’t picture the child with any other name. So who knows?
Weirdest names I’ve ever heard? A’Miracle and A’ Ppreciate. Not kidding. Saw the birth certificates. They went by Mira and Pria.
I so agree with the originality comment! Especially now that “original” names are so common, I think a creative name may be less likely to stand out. Although A’Miracle and A’Ppreciate would stand out to me. Goodness.
Definite wackadoo. She obviously needs a biology lesson, since what you look like happens to be genetic. I’d like to see how DNA changes to mold itself after a name.
But, that aside… I do think there is something we are forgetting to consider- how you TREAT someone does influences how they behave. If you named your kid Butch because you wanted them to be tough and manly, you are going to then raise him to be tough and manly. If you named your daughter Rose because you wanted her to be soft and feminine, you’ll then raise her with dresses and pretty pink things and dolls and wouldn’t it just be amazing that she turned out to be very feminine? Will this apply every time? Of course not, but I’m sure it has a lot to do with it.
Now, going back to the wackadoo facebook teacher, maybe she treated her students differently and that is why they happened to always fit her little mold! Maybe she was always yelling at the Brickabacks even when they hadn’t done anything, meanwhiling letting the Jobajabs get away with murder because in her mind they were the good kids. If you treat someone poorly for no reason, they probably aren’t going to then go out of their way to be a good student. Sounds like she was creating her own reality by being an awful, judgemental person.
And that is why I vote for unique names. Speaking of which, in the supermarket today someone on the speaker called for a girl named “Unique-kwa” (not sure how you would spell that). As long as they aren’t ridiculous, I think it’s nice to have a name that is rare and that people can’t use to preform their opinion of you. But then again, maybe folks think my name is ridiculous.
YES, you are spot on – and that’s why this teacher’s comments were so appalling to me. Because if you go into a school year thinking, “Thomases are all tantrum-throwing jerks with below-average intelligence” then you may put him into remedial reading, or automatically think “C” when you grade his papers, or snap at him for behavior that wouldn’t elicit a snap from another child. That’s just… horrible.
My parents tried to make sure my brother never had any of the same teachers I had for that reason. They didn’t want teachers to have some pre-conceived idea of who he was or how he’d behave just because he was related to me. I think we all have to deal with those kind of pre-conceptions – whether they’re about race or religion or name or university. But some are easier to defy than others!
Just have to butt in and say that your name is one of my most favorite names of ALL TIME. Unfortunately our last name starts with H and we are not fans of alliteration or I would be tempted to name all my kids Holland. 🙂
That teacher is awful!!! I come from a long proud line of public school teachers and while they all come home saying things like “I have a SPARKLE in my class, can you believe I have to say that name OUT LOUD” they’ve never JUDGED a kid by the name (and Sparkle turned out to be pretty awesome, as I recall.) You mostly end up feeling awful for the kid with the awful name.
I prefer boring average traditional names. But I’m boring and average.
The weirdest/awfullest name I’ve heard in real life: a friend of mine whose sister is a teacher had a Quephen in her class. Pronounced Kevin. FOR SHAME.
I didn’t even think about the weirdness of having to say an odd name out loud. A good friend of mine has a colleague with an endearment for a name. So he has to call her “Sweetie” (not her real name) all the time, and he feels super awkward about it.
Yes, this teacher is insane.
However, I absolutely believe that a persons name can hinder them from getting certain jobs. I think the super cutesy and um, unique, names will affect a lot of these kids later in life. Not all, but some. Like someone said earlier, I can’t imagine hiring “Umunique” (a kid who was in in my sisters 1st grade class..pronounced “im unique”) to represent my case in a courtroom.
Maybe it will affect them in romantic relationships too—I don’t think I could date a man who spelled “Kevin” “Quephen”. Just….no.
I know and I agree: Although I would TRY, so hard, not to let the name affect my thoughts of the person, it would probably affect my feelings about/for that person, at least initially. And that is SO UNFAIR! Because these kids didn’t choose their names. And yet they get the full brunt of the judgment.
I have LOTS to say about this subject, but I will not bore you. For starters, I am a social worker at a hospital. And to say that I see “original” and “standard” names on a daily basis is an understatement. I am thankful for the name my parents gave me for many reasons, but mainly because it is never mispronounced or misspelled, and has yet to cause frustration. I also like meeting other Emily’s and think they are way cool because we share a common bond, it’s an instant connection/friend. I am not opposed to creative names or names that are more unique, depends on the parents. I think it is VERY irresponsible of the teacher to be so judgmental prior to meeting students. Also, assuming something about someone based on a name is a terrible idea. Assuming in general is terrible (it makes an ass out of u and me!). Nonetheless, the best names i’ve seen at the hospital are: La-A (pronounced La-Dash-A. You say the dash, make sense? Ladasha, but spelled La-A). Furreal (and I quote from the mother when I met her after birth: “When I found out I was pregnant, I said are you ‘furreal’? And it just kind of stuck”. Dalasone (Da-Las-One) and I quote from the mother again, “Because it’s the last one”! (get it?) I know, I know. Creativity taken TOO far. And I agree with the earlier comments, a person makes the person, not a name. And just because you have an “original” name does not guarantee originality or the next Lady Gaga, Picasso, etc.
It’s scary that people like that mold young minds. That lady is bat-crap crazy.
I do agree that a name can affect other people’s perception but I have a hard time believing it will affect the person themselves. I agree with you – I think I’d pretty much be me no matter what my name. That said, I have to confess to rejecting certain names for our daughter as “stripper names.” I don’t believe naming my child something will actually make her a stripper but the connotation is there… I also put each name we considered through the “Supreme Court Test.” If I couldn’t picture a Supreme Court Justice with that name, it was crossed off the list. That might be a little crazy, but I didn’t want to saddle my daughter with a name that might (in my view) handicap her professionally one day.
Names are tough and people have strong opinions on them, but I think outside of extreme examples, it’s not likely that one will wreck a kid’s life with a name. But seriously, Shithead is screwed.
I went to girl with the name Tequilla Cadillac. Awesome.
After reading “Tequilla Cadillac” I have to throw out the two names I’ve heard that I find cruel:
Rusty Doore (a girl!)
Welcome Friends (a guy)
What if we look at this differently. I think certain parents are more likely to choose particular names. Specifically in different socio-economic classes. With that taken into consideration, maybe a “brickabrack” is more likely to come from a certain type of home, and be raised a certain way that would *cause* parts of their personality.
This is just a guess. I have a perfectly average, highly popular name. I hate it. But it is impossible for some one to say “All Jessicas…” because there are SO many… they can’t possibly all be the same! lol.
I’m reading a book right now where one of the main characters is considering changing from her middle name (which she’s used since childhood) to her proper first name, and she goes on and on about the different associations she has with each name. I don’t judge people by names – one of my favorite aunts and one of my college professors had the same first name and they couldn’t be more different. I also have a not hard to pronounce/spell name that is consistently mispronounced (even though it’s not that unique) but I love it.
I have to throw out two names here:
a little girl named “Abcde” (pronounced Ab-sid-uh)
and
a grown MAN named “Dear Lee Beloved”
I’m with you on Garth Brooks.
I agree her way of thinking about names is odd.
That being said, I totally picked my girls name on the fact that I think it is classy, sophisticated, and I pictured a well mannered, reserved beauty when I thought of the name.
Others may not think her name, Blythe, conjures up those same feelings but hey, it works for me.
First, I love the blue album. I love Pinkerton too.
Of course all people with the same name have the same level of good looks. Michael J Fox and Michael Jackson and Michael Kors = the same. They all also have the same personality. Obviously.
1. Facebook Teacher is an idiot.
2. I don’t know that we considered personality, but I guess we did consider the “reputation” of the name.
3. I have preconceived notions about the names Bertha, Helga, and Buelah, but I don’t actually know anyone with those names. I went to school with a girl named Buffy, and she was both stuck up and valley-girl-ish, which is what I expected.
4. I think she’s just an idiot.
5. Most unusual name… I had a case file for someone named Rainbow, which I thought was unusual.
6. I would pronounce Aurel like aural, which is very very similar to how I pronounce oral.
Oh, I was going to add that the criminal court here in the Twin Cities is full of Jesse James Lastnames. So my anecdotal evidence is that people named Jesse James ___ are more likely to commit crimes. My guess is that parents who think Jesse James is a good role model are not good parents.
I have one more comment, and then I’ll leave you alone. Do you know what names I hate? John Johnson and Tom Thompson and James Jameson, etc. Come ON, parents! Really?!
My mom’s friend is a nurse and she had to talk people out of naming their children Placenta and Chlamydia.
My mom has a girl in her preschool class right now with the name Lolohma, and a few years ago she had one that was Kohnalia. (Con-A-Lie-A).
In my experiences at work I have heard kids be called Soda, Bubbles, and Karma.
Also at my work we have to wear name tags and one of the purposes is so that random people have the ability to comment on our job performance. Many times if people have a weird spelling of a common name we change their name tag to a more common spelling so that people can more easily reference our names. When we have a coworker with a super duper unique orginal name that is long we often have them pick a shorter more recognizable nickname to put on their nametags.
I do think facebook teacher is wackadoodle, and probably her beliefs on how the kids would act influenced the kids to act in that manner that she expected.
I also believe there is a correlation between the type of name and the type of person, but I also think both evolve together. Hmm, maybe I could make that clearer. Lets say you were given a long, romantic, flowing name as an infant. But you were nicknamed a sparkly, peppy nickname and you also happened to be a sparky peppy person as an adult. Maybe the nickname came first, maybe the personality did. Nevertheless, I do think both ended up influencing the other.
I hope and pray that some people with “unique” names change them once they hit adulthood.
Was it Freakonomics or somewhere else that did a study on the number of serial killers with the name “Wayne” as one of their names? Apparently, there were a lot.
I went to high school with a Daiquiri. My husband’s grandma is named DeVone and I used to do in-home care for a NeVada (pronounced Nuh-Vay-Duh). And because of Book of Mormon names in Utah, you can get quite a few kids named Ammon, Nephi, Moroni, and somewhere on my mom’s side of the family was a Mahonri Moriancumer (Muh-hawn-rye More-ee-ane-kuh-mer) (explanation for the name http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brother_of_Jared), who they called Uncly Honny. My great uncle is named Dolph, but he understandably goes by his middle name, Leon.
My thought is similar to many others. A name cannot inherently shape you, but it can influence others’ treatment of you, which can shape you.
And for your (and hopefully other readers’ amusement) I present the Utah Baby Namer website. Because we have some weird-ass names in this state.
http://wesclark.com/ubn
I live in Singapore, which is mostly Chinese people. Since there are only a few Chinese last names, most Chinese parents try really hard to give their children a completely unique first name. So there’s no list of “names” you are supposed to choose from. Naming your child something common suggests you are uneducated and don’t care that much about your offspring.
Also, they think that your first name has a huge effect on your personality, luck and life outcome. So typically parents will pay astrologers large sums of money to help them select a lucky name. Sometimes if a person is unlucky (sickly, for instance), they will change their first name to help change their luck (I know an someone who did this at age 25). They think Westerners are very careless with naming.
I like unique names (though choosing a unique spelling usually just makes you seem illiterate), and gave my daughter a somewhat unusual one because it seems more special.
Most unusual (seen in hospital birth registry)
1) Lemón-gel-o spelled lemonjello
2) Ben Danger Russ
Many more but those ate the stand outs!
One of my former co-workers went to high school with a Lemonjello. This Lemonjello also had a brother who was named Orangejello (pronounced Oran-gel-o).
I have…opinions on people spelling common names in uncommon ways. I used to work in an office where I saw a LOT of names and we actually kept a running list of the craziest ones. My favorite was MaryUm. With that capitalization and everything. The runner up was Tiffani Tiphane Lastname. Which in my mind was pronounced “Tiffany Tuh-fane.” I just think listen, everyone is going to get made fun of for things that no one can control. Why put dynamite into the hands of their peers to use for the rest of their lives? No one needs that.
Oooh and I just remembered something else. A few years ago my office was hiring and a friend of mine was tasked going through the first round of resumes. She came across someone with a perfectly common first and last name and with the middle name “unique.” Like Jane Unique Doe. Worse, this girl had bolded her middle name and changed only that font to red. To make herself seem more unique? She didn’t make it to the second round of interviews.
Only have a second so popping in to say – that teacher is awful, and hopefully in a very, VERY small minority in her thinking.
And, the worst name I’ve ever heard given to a child was Yoda.
My BIL (a teacher) has a little girl in his class who’s name is La-ia. He pronounced it “Lay-ah.” She told him it’s “LaDASHia” You SAY the DASH!!!!
I have an unusual, but not made-up name (“robyn” is my middle and online name) which is always mispronounced. Growing up I definitely wished I had a more common name. But, people always remember my name because I’m the only one they know with it.
That’s really sad that the teacher makes assumptions about the kids based on their names. The strangest name I’ve heard was Kis-ma-as. Her name is probably (legally) Kismas, but she spells it with the dashes so it’s more like kiss-my-ass.
For some awesome commentary on unique names, I recommend this website: http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/
Hilarious.
Being a teacher I have seen tons of crazy names. But the weirdest name I’ve ever heard from a cashier I once had and his name was Godslove!
What’s really annoying to me is when people have 3-5 kids and all give them all the same name! Like Johnathan, John, Johnny, Jonesha or Keyonn, Keyonni, and Keyonna. That is so confusing when you teach all the kids!
I actually like when all my students have different names, it’s easier for me to remember. When half of them are named Jack and John I get them mixed up.
I think this is a really interesting topic. I know that I’m pre-disposed to certain names, and have an idea of what their personality will be like when I meet them. I’ve always wondered what teachers thought about the wacky names people give their kids, and they have to work with them the whole year.
People come up with some way off names for kids, IMHO. But then again, when I pick a name, someone else may think it’s off to them. Different strokes,I guess!
Oh. Em. Gee. This Facebook teacher is a nightmare. I personally don’t know a SINGLE teacher, and being a (unemployed currently) teacher myself, I have found myself around quite a few teachers. I mean, you can’t even stereotype kids based on who their siblings are (because really? Every kid is their own person, regardless of their name, parents, siblings, eye color, hair color, etc) these days, much less something like a NAME. This teacher clearly missed the whole “don’t judge others,” and “stereotyping is a bad idea,” movement. How horrifying that she is responsible for teaching today’s youth. You know her lessons can’t about acceptance and avoiding prejudice (do you like how now I’m just openly judging her based on her Facebook comments? I’m such a hypocrite here.)
My name is Lauren. Your typical 1984 girl name. There were, at one point, at least 4 other Laurens in my classes in school. We were all VASTLY different. Clearly that lady hasn’t been paying attention in the 25 years of teaching she’s been doing.
Bottom line, I do think names are a powerful thing, but I don’t believe they shape your personality. I’ve never met this person in person, but a teacher friend of mine once taught an Abcde (pronounced: ab-si-dee). No lie.
Note: By saying “these days” at the end of the statement: You can’t stereotype kids based on X, Y, and Z… I obviously meant EVER. These days = Ever.
Yea. Wanted to add that.
It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not if OTHER people believe it. I have a somewhat ethnic sounding name and when my husband’s uncle met me for the first time, his comment to my husband was, “it’s good to see you with a white girl.” He had already formed his opinion of me. I have to deal with that all the time with people who meet me “on paper” before they meet me in real life. I do get judged, as do you, by your name. End of story. Even if you are right and names have no impact on personality (which I really, really, really doubt), other people (think me and the FB teacher everyone is making fun of) DO think they have an impact, so it DOES have an impact.
Perception is reality, right?
My friend taught a student named Wachovia, but it was pronounced Wa-cho-via vs Wa-koh-via. Sad but true.
You are judged by your names and when I worked in HR years ago, if the name on the resume was horrible, they would skip over your resume. No lie. They would assume your parents were fools, so you must be one too. It is not fair, but it does happen.
I do not like this teacher…not one little bit. I think she made these children who she wanted them to be and I absolutely do not think a name determines who you will become.
However, maybe only a certain kind of person would pick a certain name and raise a certain kind of child…but that might be the only validity I can believe. And to equate it to looks is INSANITY. I hope my kids never have teachers like her.
I HATE made up names. “Braedon. Aurel. Trayton. Tron. Ferrin.” Yuck! Those names do not scream “unique and original” – they scream “illiterate and trashy.” I do judge. They are inferior names. (However, I do not think there is anything wrong with African Americans making up names as there is a long standing cultural tradition.) But these white middle class Braedons – yuck! It just screams – “we want to pretend we are unique and cultured, but really we are just like all of our other white middle class suburban friends who consider eating at Olive Garden as going out for Italian and who still decorate in cherry wood and who consider granite an architectural detail and Cancun traveling internationally”… That’s how I judge the parents of Braedon, Aurel, Trayton, Tron, and Ferrin. The irony is that I judge the parents as being generic – when what they are after is looking original. And I guess I’d judge the kids as generic – kids who will never leave the town they grew up in, go to the same state university as their parents, be the same religion and political orientation of their parents without questioning it, get married on the younger side, marry someone they meet in high school or at their state university…
I sound horrible and judgey. Basically, I don’t think that names determine a kids personality. Rather, names give you an idea of the parents – and the parents shape the kids personality. I am supposed to give birth any second now, and we are using a real name, spelled correctly.
*I should note my husband has a hippy name. I judge his parents for it too 🙂
Lemonjello and Orangejello are urban myths. None of you have ever seen one.
http://www.snopes.com/racial/language/names.asp
I have no idea how to comment on this. I’m going with my own problems, sharing them with you..and hoping you relate.
Jon and I spent a LOT of time thinking up Addison’s name. Before she was even a flicker in our eyes, we talked about baby names (yup, we were “that” couple) and I shared with Jon that if we had a baby girl, I’d want to name her Lilly, short for Lillian.
When we finally decided to go ahead and have kids, Lillian and Lilly climbed the top 10 list. I hated having one of those “popular” names. It’s my thing. I’m all about casual, but different. I’m really cool, okay?
So we started looking through other baby girl names. And we finally came up with Addison. We could call her Addi for short (although to be honest we mostly call her Peanut… and so do most of our friends/family). So it was settled, her name would be Addison.
Then, exactly 1 month before I was due, Addison came up on the top 10 list for names for that year….my name….my unique-yet-not-weird name. My baby girl’s name. You know, the one embroidered on all her stuff and plastered all over her walls.
Can you tell I was SO happy her name was in the top 10?
I’d like to say I’m over it now…but let’s be real here.
1. Do you find Facebook Teacher’s thoughts on the subject of naming as wackadoo peculiar as I do?
jwoap: Totally.
2. If you are a parent, did you pick your child’s/children’s names based on a particular personality you associated with the name?
jwoap: No we were even cornier and lamer. Our son was due Christmas day, being Roman Catholic we wanted to name him after a Saint. St. Nicholas = Santa Clause get it? AND — I used to suffer from insomnia during my pregnancy and I stayed up late a lot and watched a lot of Nickelodeon and I loved to hear the answer say “Nick at Night” And so, Nicholas is my son’s name and I still call him Nick at Night. Now that he’s older he doesn’t think it’s as funny as I do:)
3. Do you know of any names that are – 90% of the time, let’s say – representative of a specific personality? And if so, what is the name and what personality (and intelligence and looks, if you like) comes with that name?
jwoap: Yes totally: Tiffany, Jackie, Theresa, Amber, Candy, Madison, Taylor, and Harrison.
I am not even going to go there:)
4. Do you think this Facebook teacher is just a typical Facebook dingbat, or do you think other teachers are out there saying, “Oh boy, I’ve got another Ukler in my class this year. I better just give him Cs right now, since all Uklers are average students.”?
jwoap: I hope she’s a facebook dingbat.
And, just for fun:
5. What is the most unusual real-life name you’ve ever come across?
jwoap: mine. if you email me I will tell you it. It’s Latin even though I am not. I swear my mom was high when she named me after her best friend.
6. How would you pronounce the name “Aurel”? Oral? Aural? Some other way?
Aurel is a german boys name and you would day “Ahh rel”
Kind of like the terminator speaks “Ahhnold”
Of the 3 James I went to school will all 3 of them bullied/teased me.
The most unusal names ive seen are Bless’n yes with an apostrophe and Misses
I dont really like the name Jessica or Ashley only because every other girl in my school had those names. SO they just went Ashley J. Ashley. M. or Jessica S. or Jessica R. I think children should have a name unique to them but dont go all crazy Ashley Ashly Ashlee Ashlea Ashlie Ashleigh Ashlii anything too crazy makes the parent look challenged/”spehsul”. Dont they know how to spell?
Piping in once again to say that my father, the Shakespearean scholar, wanted to name my sister and I Mopsa and Dorcas. From The Winter’s Tale. I cannot even imagine what that would have been like growing up in our small, rather close-minded community. Dorcas! Why not just tattoo a bullseye on your kid’s forehead? Luckily my mother, the post-modernist, stepped in. Our names are still unusual but they’re not *that* weird.
Do you remember the sketch from years back- it was either on “In Living Color” or “SNL” and the kid’s name was “female pajamas” pronounced fee-mah-lay pa-juh-may? We ran into a little girl last week and her Mom referred to her as “Pa-juh-may”…and all I could think of was Pajamas. Yikes!
Curious where you are from with such odd names.
As an MD, I have seen some interesting names and some interesting spellings of names. One patient told me she was going to name her son “Leviticus” – like the book of the bible. Which I thought was kind of cool – you could call him “Levi” for short. And during residency I worked with a predominantly minority population so I was thankful it was at least a real word. He came to see me after he was born and his name was spelled “Lavitikus”.
Sigh.
Since I have a son, I am often asked questions about hold old he is and what his name is. We named him “Judah” which is a biblical name, not too weird, but also not super common. A nurse and I then got into a conversation about her most recent grandbaby, named Elijah. Apparently, her daughter in law wanted to name the baby “Jonquavion” or something similar, but Grandma (wisely) talked her out of it. “Can you imagine a Grandpa Jonquavion?” she said to me. “That’s the real test of a good name – if you can put Grandpa in front of it.” I thought that was very sound advice.
For real, though, when I was registering for baby stuff I had to wait around at Babies R Us to ask a question, and I noticed this very interesting, highly-tattooed couple with two fairly small, mohawked boys. Dad also had a mohawk. STill, I was surprised when he called to his boys, “Chaos, Fury, come back over to daddy.”
Judging by the overheard conversation as we were waiting, they were also apparently expecting twins. I cannot even imagine what you would name the siblings of two boys called Chaos and Fury.
Ugh, I have a SERIOUS. PROBLEM. with pretend names. I mean, it’s not my name, so I shouldn’t care but OH I DO.
The only thing I can think of re: the crazy teacher is that I think the names parents give their kids say something about the parents? And in elementary school so much about a kid’s performance has to do with the parents? I totally don’t get the part about the appearance of the kids though.
My hubby’s cousin is a doc: Dr. Cousin was working at an inner-city hospital where she delivered a baby girl one day. Post-delivery, Dr. Cousin had to explain to the Baby Mama that she had quite the case of chlamydia. As soon as Dr. Cousin said “chlamydia,” Baby Mama exclaimed “Chlamydia! Why that’s the prettiest name I’ve ever heard!” …and she proceeded to name her daughter Chlamydia. No. Joke.
I think about this ALL the time. I’ve never named an actual human, but names of characters … so I love that you thought about it that way! It’s always so interesting to me the way people have such strong attachments/biases/stereotypes to/about names. (Though the teacher seems a bit extreme …)
Also, I’m sorry, you’re right and names are subjective, etc etc, BUT TRON. I hope someone tells her not to name her baby after a Michael Bays franchise.
We’re having a kid in 6 weeks or so and still can’t figure out a name, so I read your post and ALL the comments with great interest. I also knew a La-a (“the dash don’t be silent”) and am surprised to see so many others! I’ve known a Whitney Whitt, William Williams III, Hendrik Gideonse XIX, and Muffy Murphy (just to balance things out in terms of socio-economic ‘interesting’ names). My husband (during his OBGYN rotation) heard of someone naming their daughter Vagina.
My parents both had very tease-worthy names and so carefully named us with very ordinary, solid names. At the same time, my Mom was really into the meaning of names so mine is Spanish and means “Christ’s Joy”, my brother is “Beloved Watchman” and my sister is “Filled with Grace and Beauty”. There is something in the power of naming that I believe in, yet I think there is a range of shaping that the kid will bring to the name no matter what the name is.
It’s hard for us to figure out a name because my husband wants to do an unusual “European” name, his Mom has given a Korean name I don’t like in English and we have to figure all this out soon! There’s one I keep coming back to, it’s in the top 10 boy names, but we may just go with it anyway. The initials though would be AHK and that feels like a terrible thing to do to the kid… I like that the meaning of the first and middle name together are “Burning bush” which means I can call the kid B.B. Kim (and that amuses me…cause I’m evil).
I’m excited to come back in the morning and read all these comments.
My opinion is that the name parents choose for their child reflects THEIR personality, which usually rubs off at least a little on their child. It also reflects their perception of certain names (which may or may not be the same as society in general’s perception), which will in turn be their expectation of their child, and probably a self-fulfilling prophecy (to a certain extent).
P.S. I absolutely agree Garth Brooks’ No Fences is one of the all-time top 5 albums. LOVE.
Weird tangent: I just realized when hearing of someone named “Garth,” the first thing I would think of was Wayne’s World and, until I meat the person, I would think they might be rather goofy. But if I thought of Garth Brooks I would have a totally different impresson…