I find myself in need of advice on little silly things that are nonetheless driving me crazy. In exchange, I thought I’d share a few little tips that have been helping me out lately.
If you have any hot tips to share, please do so; if you are in need of any advice, ask away. I will chime in if I have something to offer, and I hope your fellow readers will do so as well.
Tiny Tips That Are Making Life Better
- Low-Effort Houseplant Watering: I love houseplants – looking at them, owning them, watching for new growth or flowers. And I am also terrible about keeping on top of their watering needs. After several died or nearly died, I finally broke down and bought a pack of plastic watering bulbs so that I could put one in every single plant I own. It’s not foolproof – they do need to be refilled every week or so, depending on the plant. But it is making my plants SO MUCH HAPPIER and my days are no longer punctuated by random stabs of guilt when I realize it’s been several weeks since I last watered my plants.
- Morning Time (and Madness) Saver: Mornings have always been tough in my household. They continue to be tough, especially since we have added Primping to our daily routine. And also, school starts earlier this year than it ever has before so we need to be out the door fifteen minutes sooner than we did last year. One thing that has made getting out the door slightly better is to keep a hairbrush, hair ties, and a small makeup kit in my car. That way, Carla can do her hair and makeup while I am driving her to school. Secondary tip: One common frustration around here is that no one can ever find a hairbrush when she needs it. I bought a bunch of small hairbrushes so that Carla can keep one in her backpack, one in her sports bag, and one in her locker.
- Easy Sheet Pan Meal Clean Up: I love sheet pan dinners, and I love using a barrier between the food and my cookie sheets so I don’t have to deep clean the cookie sheets every night. (They don’t fit in the dishwasher.) I own reusable silicone sheets, and use them for certain things, but they are too difficult to clean for me to use them every time I make a sheet pan meal. For the longest time, I’ve been using aluminum foil. But I am continually frustrated by food sticking to the damn foil. I tried parchment paper, but found it super annoying because it’s so insubstantial it doesn’t stay in place and it’s difficult to crease. I’d seen tips before for putting a little sprinkle of water or cooking spray on the cookie sheet to hold the parchment in place, but it doesn’t always work and/or it requires me to wash the cookie sheet, which I was trying to avoid by using parchment in the first place. Then I saw someone on Instagram crumple up the sheet of parchment paper before smoothing it out onto the cookie sheet. GAME CHANGER.
- Connection Points When Talking Is Hard: The credit for this genius idea belongs with my friend G. She told me that she and her daughter have a special notebook in which they write each other secret notes. “Secret” in that no one else can read their exchanges. I have tried this technique with Carla, who can be quite reticent about sharing her feelings and talking about her worries. It works so well. She is willing to share all sorts of things in writing that she refuses to discuss out loud. Because of this silly little journal we pass back and forth, I feel much more connected to her and what’s going on in her inner world. It’s not even something we write in regularly. Sometimes we’ll go back and forth for a few days, sometimes the journal will sit untouched for months. But so far it’s been the perfect bridge when I sense she’s something is troubling her but she’s reluctant, for whatever reason, to share it, or just when we haven’t had a chance to chat in a while. Oh look – there’s a whole line of journals specific to this purpose. We just use one of the many old journals I have lying around.
- Instant Mood Improver: Get a cat. Please note: mood improvement requires close proximity to cat and may disappear once cat is out of sight, which could be quite often, depending on the cat.
Please Advise: Here’s Where You Tell Me What To Do
- Do you have any tips for making it simpler to put laundry away? Especially if those tips apply to getting other people in your household to put laundry away? Our current “system” involves me doing laundry, folding or sorting Carla’s clothing, and then asking Carla to put it away. Which results in Carla using my bedroom as a dressing room, because that’s where I fold the laundry. I have started putting the clean/folded laundry in a basket and putting that basket
in my bedroomon the landing outside Carla’s roomin Carla’s room, but still – the basket remains there, full of clean clothing, growing less folded by the day, until I Make A Fuss. And honestly, the Making A Fuss only results in the laundry ending up on the floor, which makes me incandescent. I have not opened the door to Carla’s closet lately, and do not want to, lest my head implode like a firecracker. I am willing to do Drastic Things. Should I get rid of 75% of her clothing? (I did ask her to go through her wardrobe this summer and remove everything she doesn’t or won’t wear.) Should I buy her another dresser? The child has AMPLE storage, seriously, so much storage, but what we are doing is clearly not working for her and she doesn’t have any ideas (besides I like having all my clothing in a laundry basket / on my floor) for how to make the situation more user friendly for herself. The only thing I am unwilling to do is put her laundry away myself. She’s twelve. She can put her own laundry away. Oh, okay – there is another thing I am unwilling to do: ignore the mess. I have tried that tack and it is not workable for me or for our family.
- What are your favorite low-effort houseplants? Especially if they require low light? As I mentioned above, I LOVE plants and would love more. But a) our house has very little direct light and b) the cat will seriously eat any plant, or at least give it a little taste test, so any plants I buy need to be non-toxic. I have moved all the currently toxic plants I own to out-of-cat-reach spaces, but they aren’t necessarily low-light plants and they aren’t doing very well. For instance, the Christmas cactus and the kalanchoe I owned pre-cat have been relocated to the top of my bookshelves, and they are no longer dying of thirst but they are clearly not loving their lighting conditions. I have also purchased a few plants that require “bright, indirect light,” and even those seem a little light-starved. I think I need plants that thrive in less light. But not no light. All the plants have access to natural light. Just not bright light.
- How do you keep your fingernails tidy? Okay, confession time: I am a nail picker. I will pick at my nails and the skin around my nails, sometimes until my fingers bleed. I think I developed this gruesome habit as an alternative to nail biting (although I still do that at times, too, ugh ugh ugh), and I am ready to stop. But… I don’t know HOW. It’s a nervous habit, for sure, and I don’t think you can help me get over my social anxiety. But part of the reason it’s such an addictive habit is that my cuticles (is that the right term for the skin on the sides of my nails???) are often dry or peeling or otherwise pick-able. Right now, my pinky finger is all painful and inflamed because of this habit and I Don’t Like It. My questions for you are: a) If you or someone you know has gotten over this gross habit, HOW? And/or b) Is there something I should be doing to enhance my overall nail skin / fingernail / cuticle health? I do tend towards dry skin, and use Working Hands cream like it’s my job. But I get overwhelmed by the abundance of cuticle oils and creams and have no idea which ones WORK. Or if buying a “cuticle remover kit” would do anything at all to help me.
I do not want to end this post on weird giant photos of my fingernails, so here’s where I turn things over to you. What hot tips do you have to share today? Or, at least, the little things that are making your day-to-day easier/better/more enjoyable? And in which areas are you in need of advice?
Brushes and hair ties in the car is such a help! I bought little wet brushes for each car so boys can brush on the way tobschool, I can brush on the way to work, emergency tidying as needed.
Laundry- have her get rid if 50% of her clothes. Too much inventory makes it hard to manage, and having something else around makes it easier to step over the dirty pile on the floor. You could have her just use the laundry basket as a dresser ( my husband will do that for his whites- but I have it tucked behind his dresser in a corner, so it’s not really visible).
Then, go in and take away clothes that are on her floor/ inappropriate locations. Put them away from her for a week or until she changes her ways. No yelling, no fussing, but she loses stuff if she can’t take care of it. I’ve done this with one daughter a few times- the positive effect lasts for a while. I solved the problem completely by having her go off to college- but you’re not there yet!
Cats = happiness.
Okay, these are excellent recommendations. I never thought about taking away the clothes she puts on her floor, but that is genius! I washed three of her favorite sweaters last week, put them on her bed to put away, and then they were ON THE FLOOR and I was so irritated. Next time, I will just remove them! Good plan.
I can confirm cat = happiness. Dog also = happiness, just with more work. The more time you spend with the cat or dog, the more happiness.
A person can never have enough hacks to make the morning run smoothly. I approve of keeping a hairbrush anywhere that you/Carla needs a hairbrush.
I share your vice of picking the skin around my fingernails. I will generally stop when I encounter something that’s going to hurt or bleed, but as you may know, it’s easy to take things Too Far. I’ve never used a cuticle remover, and it freaks me out because I’m not exactly sure what having a removed cuticle means (apart from what I’ve experienced through nature). I have no solution, I just wanted to say that I see you.
Oh I am so sorry to hear you are afflicted with the nail skin picking too. And YES, what does it MEAN to remove the cuticle?!?!
I have a similar problem with my kids. I think too many clothes is the issue. It’s easier for them to keep out the 20% of clothes they wear 80% of the time.
I have labeled shelves and folded laundry such that they literally have to lift from the basket and transfer to the shelf, all to no avail.
It really does feel like the issue is too many clothes. You are so right that she wears a few things over and over — I should just pare down the options.
Parchment paper is the single greatest kitchen invention. I use it every time I use a cookie sheet for every single thing. I got my MIL to use it and now she texts me every time. So…was that smart of me or not? I don’t know but she’s grateful.
My fave plants are snake and jade. Both of those thrive in almost any light, with almost any water. I also have a star plant and a Christmas cactus, but I wouldn’t say those are thriving. My aunt gave me an aloe plant that is now huge and I don’t actually know what to do with.
I used to be a terrible nail biter and then nail picker after I quit biting. My solution is to always have my nails done, which helps mostly but not always. When I am tempted to pick at them – especially to peel off the polish which NEGATES THE WHOLE POLISH THING – I try to do something that requires use of my hands, like play piano or clean something.
She texts you every time? Oh. Boy.
I LOVE parchment paper, though, so… maybe I get it, a little??? It’s kind of charming? But, no, it is also weird and irritating.
I LOVE a snake plant, and adore jade plants, and have one of each, but they are both toxic to cats! Everything is toxic to cats, Nicole!!!! I have never heard of a star plant though so I need to look into that.
Your strategy of doing your nails to prevent the biting/picking is super smart. I painted my nails yesterday for JUST that reason. I should stay on top of having my nails painted to see if that helps! The time when I am most apt to pick at my cuticles is when I’m talking one-on-one with someone, not usually a friend, but, like, one of the kiddo’s teachers or with a potential client or an acquaintance I don’t know well. Sigh. PAINTED NAILS, that is going to be my savior. And my excuse for buying additional bottles of pretty polish.
Also a cuticle picker! I don’t know how to stop. It seems to ramp up in times of stress, but I’m not sure how to redirect it. My doctor told me that messing with the cuticles can damage the nail. I asked her about my thumb nail which has gotten rather bumpy over time and it gets the worst of my picking habit. With that info, she said to be gentle with the cuticles and avoid manicures (since they tent to cut off the cuticles). So, there’s that! I still don’t know how to stop. Sigh.
Oh wow, how interesting that she suggests avoiding manicures! I avoid manicures for other reasons, lol, so I feel vindicated. I definitely pick/bite more when I’m anxious… but also when I’m bored. I’m sorry you do it too!
I am so bizarrely comforted by all my fellow cuticle pickers. Eve reaches over and holds my hand whenever she notices me doing it (partly to be helpful partly because she hates the sound).
I need house plants that don’t need direct light too! We have no window space for plants so I just don’t have any, but I would love to.
I know I have weird little hacks that make my life easier, but I kind of think they only apply to me, and also I can’t remember what they are right now.
I have not helped at all, which is maybe foreseeable because we are so alike, but I feel kind of disheartened about it anyway.
Who knew so many of us have this issue?!?! My heart is so happy to hear about Eve’s “solution.” I wish my kid or my husband would do that for me! And I also wish my kid and my husband would allow me to do that for them, too, lol.
Listen, I am distinctly heartened by the fact that you and I and apparently a bunch of other people are all dealing with the same problem/s. Feeling less alone is better than all the fun hacks in the world. (But also come back and share your hacks.)
The kids and I take turns folding laundry, but whoever is doing it delivers the folded clothes to all the bedrooms and leaves it on a convenient flat surface (the bed, chair, a low bookshelf, etc.). And then everyone puts away his, her, or their clothes, or DOESN’T. I think there are (still folded) piles from at least three different loads on Noah’s bookshelves right now. But he’s 24, so I’m not going to say anything to him about it.
I got tripped up on the phrase “out of cat reach places.” He must not be a jumper because there are no out of cat reach places in our house. Well, I’ve never seen either of them on top of the fridge, but they are frequently on top of high bookshelves and cabinets.
I agreed to stop biting my nails for a week when North was six and trying to give up their nighttime pacifier. I did stop for that week, but went right back to it when it was over. North did not go back to using a pacifier.
I don’t seem to have offered any useful tips on any of these subjects.
I love that you take turns folding! And it kind of cracks me up that Noah’s laundry is on his bookshelves. That is not what they are for, Noah.
Okay, so — “out of cat reach” for now, I guess I should say. Because he does seem to access new places every day. But I don’t know how he would get to the top of the bookshelves in my office, or to the top of the mantle. (“Oh yeah? Watch me,” he says, reading my blog.)
Nail biting is so very difficult to stop because it is so very easy to do. You can’t get rid of your nails like you can a pacifier!
I have definitely nothing useful on houseplants or nail care–I have both of the same problems and have just eliminated house plants (believe it or not, I build Lego botantials now to have something pretty and creative around the house).
However, middle school was the time I told both of my kids to do their own laundry. Despite their neglect of other household chores, this one works pretty well. It sounds like Carla cares about her clothes, so it might work better with you! (Mine didn’t then; better in high school). If you haven’t washed the sweater, you might not care that it is on the floor. Getting a large separate basket for clean clothes and that’s just where they live might work too. Dressers/hanging stuff/folding clothes is overrated! Carla, like all of us, probably has too many clothes too. Purging a closet might help. Good luck!
Lego botanicals!!!! That is delightful!
I distinctly remember doing my own laundry in middle school. Perhaps it is time to pass the laundry torch to my kid. Is it terrible that I had never considered getting a second basket for her to keep? Hmm. I need to think about this. And yes. Too many clothes HAS TO be part of the problem.
I am more mess tolerant than you, but what saved my sanity was having each kid do their own laundry so it is not in the same load as mine/my husband. It usually makes it back into their laundry basket and then they take it out of there as needed. My older daughter sometimes puts hers away. What I need to do is get each kid a second laundry basket so that they always have one dirty and one clean. Right now the dirty laundry ends up on the floor. But it is better that the clean stuff being on the floor! And it is better than me feeling like my laundry is never done because they won’t put it away.
I think you’ve really pinpointed one of the main issues, which is never feeling like the job is complete. It sounds like it is time for me to allow my kid to do her own laundry. I am really nervous about that for some reason! But what’s the worst that happens? Sometimes she doesn’t have clean clothes?
I also struggle to get my 12 year old to put her clothes away, but if I sit on her bed and half pay attention to her while she does it, she’ll put everything where it belongs. It doesn’t usually take a long time, and I don’t do it for her, and sometimes she’ll even chat about random things with me while she’s doing it. It’s like win/win solution for me: she does the job AND she tells me extra things about her world.
I switched it. Kids fold, I put away. And I look at putting away as exercise and getting up my step count. They can sit in front of the tv and fold… it works out for us and that way I can refold/spot organize drawers if needed, and remove stuff that isn’t being worn or taking up too much room in drawers.
I like ZZ plants and phalaenopsis orchids for low light/low water plants- and I water my orchids on the same schedule as my cactus… every week or two. Only way I’ve found to kill an orchid is overwatering- mine even rebloom for me. The lower the light the lower the water on em though.
On the nontoxic/cat safety part- don’t forget to consider this with cut flowers too. My friend had a cat die of kidney failure because he ate the stargazer lilies she had on her kitchen island- it was devastating. That’s why I have a wall vase for my flowers… keeps the cut flowers away from cats so I don’t have to look up toxicity on each flower I bring in the house!
Once I learned nail picking, pimple popping, etc were forms of self-harm, anxiety symptoms it helped me change my behavior. And when it ramps back up in my life I take a long hard look at my stress levels.
The hair ties disappear so fast normally, and doubly with a cat around… I feel like I should just set up a repeat delivery on Amazon for them…
Ooooooh Lauren – they fold and you put away?! I kind of love that! Not sure my kid would ever fold anything, although she does fold rags/towels when I ask her to.
Such a good point about the cut flowers. I am so sorry about your friend’s cat. How awful and sad. I think you know how much I LOVE cut flowers, and one of my favorite things about this house is that there is an abundance of fresh flowers I can cut and bring inside – especially irises and hydrangeas. But… they are ALL toxic to cats. I love to buy fresh flowers from the grocery store, too, and it seems like the only non-toxic options are Gerbera daisies and roses. I guess that’s better than nothing?
For some reason, my brain is really resisting the assertion that pimple popping and nail picking are forms of self harm, so clearly I need to a) do some reading about that and b) tackle why I had such a defensive reaction.
I am extremely excited to try the parchment paper crumple trick the next time I make something sheet-pan-y. I currently use huge swaths of aluminum foil and I hate it- the waste, the fact that everything sticks no matter what, etc. But I hated trying to get the parchment paper to lie down and play nice even more. Crumpling it up first is genius!
For houseplants, try spider plants! Spider plants are GREAT low effort plants. They do better with more light, but can totally survive with less if they need to. They come in a number of configurations/colors (the Bonnie is pretty cool) and are non-toxic to cats. The cat will probably try to chew on it though, since they are a mild hallucinogen (kind of like catnip), but it won’t cause any harm.
Oh yay! I hope the parchment paper trick works for you! I thought it was super weird the first few times I did it, but it works!
Spider plants!!! I will definitely look into those! Thank you so much for the suggestion.
The Lazy Genius said in her podcast this week that we should treat plant watering like a liturgy not a chore and I love this so much– I am looking to other annoying tasks and figuring out how I can make them soothing rituals.
I work with the kids to clean out their drawers when laundry is becoming ridiculous and keep only what sparks joy. Then we decide what drawer is for what and label it accordingly– makes putting away a breeze. Also, we hang sparingly because no one but me apparently can navigate how a hanger works (WHAT THE EFF), and I end up using the closets to hold more dressers and those stacking plastic bin things.
Ooooooh “a liturgy not a chore.” Wow. That is a wonderful way to reframe plant watering. I wonder if I could transfer that thinking to laundry??? I do think I managed to talk myself into thinking of cleaning the kitchen as a liturgy rather than a chore. It’s so satisfying to put everything in order, to have a visual and sometimes olfactory reset at the end of the day.
Tell me more about the drawer labeling. Do you use Actual Labels?
My kid has similar issues with hangers, when hangers are my favorite. I would hang all my clothes if my closet were big enough.
I have picked at my cuticles/skin around nails since childhood. There seems to be a genetic propensity/hereditary element at play since my dad and sister also do it. As far back as like second grade, I would openly call hang nails/skin I would mess with/pick at “nervousers.” It’s striking to me both how insightful and un-self-conscious I was about it then! Definitely *not* un-self-conscious about it now. I have stopped for months at a time both naturally and with a lot of thought/willpower. Unf none have been permanent. I have had doctors casually call it out in appointments for other things (“what’s wrong with your hands?” “Oh, I see you have OCD.”), which I can’t say I was thrilled about (and tbh, was not appropriate or compassionate or even necessarily accurate and I wish I had said as much but was too embarrassed/stunned…). Anyway, your hands look great regardless and my only advice is to be kind to yourself, know it’s super common, and sometimes these things do just kind of fade away or at least into the background with luck, time, or a slight change in thinking. I use plain Vaseline to moisturize and a little Neosporin for anything super inflamed/raw, and that works well (and inspires me to keep it up /not pick because it looks and feels so much nicer when the skin is healed/smooth).
We have spider plants and pothos doing well in low light but I don’t think they’re good for cats! We also have some inexpensive artificial lights for a few other plants needing more than they get at a windowsill… a little “extra” (my husband is a plant guy, ha) but an option!
Artificial lights for the plants is such a great idea!
I’m really sorry that you have had the same nail picking issue, too. It is not a fun habit. The genetic component rings true for my family. Sigh. And how upsetting to have a doctor react to you in such a rude and frankly ignorant way. I know (most) doctors have a ton of knowledge and insight, but every person is an individual, not a collection of symptoms to be diagnosed.
The journal is SUCH a good idea. I have a kiddo I’ve been struggling to connect with who I know is having some big feelings she doesn’t know how to share. She loves to write, and I think this might be right up her alley. I’m going to try it!
My “big” kids don’t get screen time until laundry is put away, etc., but they are 8 and 7, so I don’t know how well that will translate at 12. But I also would not be able to just let it go if the laundry was all over the floor.
Oh I hope the journal works for you and your kiddo, Lauren! It has been wonderful. Not just for learning about what’s going on in her head — because, honestly, she only writes a few words or sentences. But for feeling like I have a space to share with her some of the things I know she would disregard or roll her eyes at if I said them out loud, you know? Let me know how it goes for you two.
Laundry on the floor makes me so uncomfortable!
We are, admittedly, only one whole day in, but Kiddo LOVES the journal! Thank you!!!
I’m starting to make more sheet pan meals, too, so I am going to try your parchment paper trick (I’ve been using foil which is fine but things do stick, like you said). I would never have thought to crumple it up first! Genius!
I fold and put away the laundry for my kids (4 and 7) so I am no help on that issue. I look forward to a time when they fold and put their laundry away but right now, I’m kind of appreciating the fact that I have control over their drawer organization (ahem, until someone rustles through it and makes a mess!). I like to put the washed/folded clothes at the bottom of their piles so we work through all of their tops v wearing the same things over and over. When they are more self sufficient, I have thought about hanging more clothes because I feel like having all of their shirts hanging might be easier for them to maintain than folding everything? But we are years away from that stage…
I’m a fellow cuticle/nail picker so am no help! I can go through stages of time when I don’t pick. For me, the less I am sitting down with idle hands (e.g. watching a show with Phil), the less likely I am to pick. So theoretically, I should get back into knitting but I am not in the mood for yarn crafts when it’s like 90 f’ing degrees outside…
I have used so much foil, Lisa. So. Much. Foil. I use it for all sorts of things, not even just sheet pan meals. And now I am transitioning to parchment and it is SO much better.
Oh, how I wish I still had control of my kid’s drawer organization!!! She has so many Specific Feelings about what she wears and what things should go in which drawer.
You and Nicole are so good about finding useful ways to occupy your hands! All I can do is scroll mindlessly on my phone, lol.
I am absolutely not diagnosing your child with anything but she sounds very much like my two kids and husband who have adhd. even if she doesn’t, you may find it useful to peruse the internet for hacks people with adhd use and you might stumble on something that resonates. i was you four years ago and my daughter wore me down (she’s now 16). i wash and fold her clothes, deliver the basket and make it a point to never go in her room. as for the nails, i am also a picker and the intensity waxes and wanes. i find that staying really hydrated is more effective than any lotions for keeping the skin less temptingly rough. but also…..i realized a couple years ago that when i am picking it is because i am getting something from it and i just kind of accepted that. when i stopped trying to quit altogether it just receded into the background and i don’t love it but it doesn’t occupy my mind or make me feel bad anymore.
Ha – it sounds like you are far from the only person who has chosen to close the door and allow whatever will be, to be with the laundry situation!
HYDRATION. Yes. This is so smart. I have really gotten out of the habit of drinking water lately, so maybe that’s partially why my nails are in such bad shape. Thank you! I also really like the framing that you are getting something from the picking, and that that isn’t a bad thing.
At age 11, kids laundry putting away is kids responsibility – we leave it in a pile on their bed and they put it away. They grumble but they eventually do it!
Whenever I see pix of others’ nails I am like: are my nails REALLY REALLY SMALL? Because everyone else’s look so long and graceful! I think mine are just tiny (short even in relation to my finger length) and I never really realized it until now. I have like 90 year old skin and child sized hands/nails. Ahh well! Also: no advice re: the picking but Invisalign cured my nail biting and I am so happy about that. Thankfully I did not seem to pick up a substitute habit (at least not yet, but it’s been ~6 months).
Wait, but HOW do they do it? And do they actually put it AWAY? I suspect, but have not verified out of fear, that “putting away” lately has meant “putting in a pile on the closet floor.”
Oooooh Invisalign! That is a great way to make two cookies with one dough! (I can’t remember the great bird/stone alternative one of our fellow bloggers came up with, but it was better than that.) Go, you!
Yes yes yes on the parchment paper trick- the whole time I was reading that paragraph I was thinking “I know the answer!” and then… you already had it. Darn! Or- i’m glad you got that figured out!
I have the exact same problem with my daughter’s clothes, except her clothes currently live… in our living room. I wash them, fold them, and then put them on a buffet-type table for her to TAKE TO HER ROOM, and there they stay. Every once in a while we’ll have a discussion about the issue, does she need more storage space, etc. but nothing gets resolved. Now that I’m starting to take out my fall decorations, I’m determined that this situation will END. I can just picture putting out our Christmas decor with her clothes are sitting there. ARRRG. You’ll have to let us know when you find a solution to this problem.
Isn’t it so satisfying to crumple up a big wad of parchment paper ON PURPOSE?!?! I love it.
Jenny, I feel so much empathetic frustration on your behalf! UGH! Why is it so hard for our kids to just put their things away?!?!?!
Perhaps a piece of furniture where she can just deposit her clean laundry if she really has no desire to put it away. I gave up the conflict with my daughters in their teenage years and just told them to keep their bedroom doors closed if we had guests. Luckily, their bedrooms were upstairs anyway. It was a “pick your battle” type situation. If it helps, they are both fairly neat adults whose homes look nice when I visit. I was a cuticle picker/biter too. Now I keep lotion on my fingers which keeps me (mostly) from biting and also helps my cuticles stay hydrated, so I’m not tempted.
That DOES help, Margaret. I have to occasionally remind myself that I am actually a huge slob who was once much, much messier and that I came around. Mostly. (Don’t look at my desk.)
I had a friend who kept deodorant in the car (for her and for her kids) OMG I thought that was brilliant.
I’ve given up on laundry getting put away with my 13 year old. She does her own laundry now and she has a clean basket and a dirty basket. Nothing gets put away; she just grabs clothes out of her clean basket when she needs something to wear. Though to be fair, she doesn’t have a dresser, just some shelves. We would like to pretend if she had a dresser she would put away her clothes, but who am I kidding? I think your solution of keeping the door closed and ignoring it is… fine? Honestly that is what I do…
The two little kids their clothes get folded and put on their bed. I even sort the clothes into categories, so it’s super simple. But really the only way I get them to put them away is to stand there and tell them to do it and they can’t go to bed until the clothes are put away.
Deodorant! That IS genius! I keep a package of Neutrogena face wipes in my car, which come in handy for a variety of things. But deodorant would be very useful!
One comfort I am taking from this comment section is that you and I are not alone in the laundry struggle. Maybe failing to put laundry away is a teenage rite of passage?
I pick my cuticles and hangnails some; the key for me is to put on handcream frequently and have my nails painted. But I often forget to do one or both. #Solidarity
My 14-year old got to do her own laundry when she turned 13, so that’s her job and I remind her to do it each Saturday. She’s responsible for the entire cycle of laundry – wash, dry, fold, and put away. Does she put it all away every time? No. Does lots of it end up on her floor? Yes. DOES THIS DRIVE ME CRAZY? Yes. Am I mostly letting it go? Yes.
A few times a week I will make her pick everything up off her floor so her floor is clear. The rest of the time, I just close the door and pretend her room doesn’t exist.
For my son, I help with laundry. I wash and dry it, and sometimes I have him put it away and sometimes I do it. Depends what time I do the laundry and my energy levels.
One trick I have learned is to line up all the shirts that need to be hung up one on top of each other. Slide a hanger into the first shirt, and then fold it down. That exposes the collar of the next shirt and so you put the hanger in that and then turn it down. It’s SO efficient.
Also, I am a big advocate of hanging up T-shirts. I find hanging so much easier than folding.
And we never fold underwear in our household. Underwear has a bin and it just goes into that bin loose.
The easiest plant for me to grow is pothos, followed by ZZ plants, but I have zero idea about their toxicity to cats 🙁
Alas, pothos and ZZ plants are both toxic to cats! EVERYTHING IS.
Like you, I love hanging up T-shirts. I would hang up EVERYTHING if I had enough room. Not sure why hanging things up is such a deterrent for my kid, but… oh well, I guess. And YES. Underwear just gets tossed in a drawer. Mine and my daughter’s at least.
I love your hanger application strategy! That is so smart!
Laundry is never easy to put away. I have come to accept this as an immutable law.
Pothos are easy plants to grow. Inexpensive to replace.
I don’t do professional manis so my approach is a nail brush, antibacterial soap, and applying Tretinoin to my nail beds at night. I don’t look shabby, kind of healthy in fact.
I have never heard of Tretinoin! I will look into it – thanks, Ally!
You’re younger than I. You know about retinol, right? Tretinoin is a Vitamin A acne cream that is prescribe to fight wrinkles and dark spots once you hit 50. After a certain age dermatologists give it to you no questions asked. While it’s meant for your face, it works wonders on cuticles.
I love those plant watering bulbs! I’ve only ever seen them for outdoor plants, but I never thought of using them indoors—now I will!
When Anna was little, I kept a journal for the two of us to write back and forth in. Ella was still a baby, and I worried Anna might feel neglected sometimes (there’s a 7.5-year age gap, so she was an only child for a long time). She still talks about that journal. 💜
As for laundry, I wish I had a magic solution, but my system is just sticking to certain days. Our laundry goes in on Mondays, the kids’ on Tuesdays. I don’t like those days to run into each other, so I always make sure everything is put away before the next round.
Snake plants and ZZ plants will go weeks without water and still look good. I still water mine weekly, but Ella has a snake plant in her room that barely gets watered, sits in a way-too-small container, and is absolutely thriving.
I really love these kinds of posts.
Oh, what a great way to use a journal to forge connection between you and Anna! I love that it made such an impression on her.
Laundry on specific days… Hmm. That’s a great idea. I wonder if I could stick to that???
My best laundry putting away technique is to do one person’s load of laundry without mixing it with anyone else’s clothes. Then I take that basket of clean clothes into their room and fold it right into the drawers. Like instead of making it a separate step, I fold the jeans and put them directly into the drawer instead of setting them on the dining room table and then putting them into a basket and then taking the basket to be put away.
My favorite low effort houseplants are not owning a single houseplant. I am so bad at plants that I gave up years ago, alas.
Oooooh that is a genius idea. My kid definitely produces enough clothing for a full load of laundry all on her own.
Not owning a single houseplant! That sounds like an excellent and reasonable solution and also it makes me sad!
I’d read about crumbling the parchment paper before using it, but do I remember to do so? I think you know the answer. I usually end up using aluminum foil, and I spray it with a bit of Pam or olive oil; this helps with the sticking.
Laundry was a big fight in my house with both my girls. I would wash their clothes, and they would (in a fit) try on something, decide to not wear it and instead of folding or hanging and putting it away, they’d toss it in the hamper. This enraged me. I finally stopped doing their laundry all together, and they started to respect the process and time it takes. Good luck my friend.
I love Snake plants. They aren’t great for critters, but they will survive on little light and little water. I have all my plants on risers, or up on shelves away from little nibblers. Spider plants are great too, very easy and I believe non-toxic.
I found a water gage on the endcap at Target a while ago. This has helped me a lot. I hate sticking my fingers in the dirt to see if a plant is wet or dry, and this little guy goes from white to blue if the soil is moist. I move it around to each plant when I’m unsure of what each particular plant needs. Yes, those little water bulbs are brilliant too!
The journal is brilliant—and what a sweet memory that will be for both of you in the future.
Lots of people saying to get rid of some of the clothes. My brain would never go that way, because I spent money on those clothes and if they fit, I wanted her to keep them. Sigh. But I took the ‘close the door’ method, so I’m not help to you.
My husband bites his nails and cuticles and hates how his hands look. He’s not going to wear polish to stop himself, so I don’t think there’s a solution for him.
There is non-stick aluminum foil! But I am glad the crumbled parchment works as well!
I also pick the skin around my nails sometimes and I am surprised to learn so many of us do! I wish I had a solution. I go through phases and sometimes thing I’ve beaten the habit, only for it to reappear! Sigh. I do keep using hand cream (Sebamed is my favorite!).
I do not attend to my finger nails. I noticed today that they were getting long (except for the two thumbs that have ripped off) and literally a few hours later I did something clumsy and broke another nail. Ugh.
I don’t do houseplants. I did when the kids were really little. My grandma gave me African Violets. I found out years later that the kids stuck food in the dirt (it was the center of the table) if they didn’t want to eat it.
I dump laundry in my kids’ rooms if they don’t come and pick it up. If they leave it all over their room, well – I try not to care and mostly I don’t, but the two little girls have to vacuum their room on Sundays and they have to get stuff put away on that day. Maybe try – ‘can’t do xyz till laundry is away?’
The journal idea is really great. I wonder if that would be a good tool for us over here in What is going on with that kid today land?
I feel quite simplistic suggesting this, but maybe just bins for Carla’s clothes, vs. drawers? Is she a visual kid, and maybe likes being able to ‘see’ her options?
For me, laundry is sorted while folded and put immediately away. When my mom did the laundry, though, it took a bit of, um, encouragement. 🙂
Remind me to tell you about how my brother would “clean” his room using bags from the GAP, of all places, and how my mother discovered his methods when he went to college and she did a deep clean of his room. A lesson in ‘just because it looks clean, doesn’t mean it is’. 🙂