It’s Friday! We are chugging right along through November. Here are five things I’m thinking about today.
- Falling Back: Changing the clocks has messed me up. I hate it so much. I mean, I guess I don’t mind driving to school in the daylight again. But give it a few weeks and we’ll be back to driving in the darkness. In the meantime, I am going to bed at a NEW normal time and waking up at the OLD normal time, which means I am getting less sleep than I was before. Plus I am still waking up each morning at three or four, full of existential dread. GOOD TIMES. My poor kid is so far on the exact same page. Why could she not have inherited her father’s ability to sleep anytime, anywhere? We are both wandering around, exhausted and cranky. She keeps draping herself over furniture and moaning about how tiiiiiiirrrrred she is. I cannot stop yawning. People keep talking about how maybe this will be the last year of Daylight Savings Time! And I keep thinking, yeah, sure, whatever. But I also think it’s kind of amazing that we all collectively (except Arizona and Hawaii, I think?) agreed to just move everything back or forth an hour twice a year. That’s BONKERS. I feel like there’s no agreement on ANYTHING AT ALL, and yet we all do this???? No thank you. I would like to abstain.
- Flu Shot: I finally got my flu shot. I was at the pharmacy and thought to ask if they administer flu shots; this is a newish-to-me pharmacy, and I’d always gotten my flu shot at Walgreens. We no longer live within walking distance of a Walgreens, so I’ve been putting off the flu shot until I had a reason to be near one. Anyway, I realize this is a very long and circuitous way to the point that yes, the current pharmacy DOES offer flu shots. The pharmacist came around the counter which was the first difference between it and Walgreens; there, you wait until the pharmacist calls you back, and you go into a little room with a door. This pharmacist was a cheery woman who seemed impossibly young. She was much friendlier than the old pharmacist, whose entire body seemed weighted down with regret and drudgery. And then she gave me the shot right there in the middle of the pharmacy! There was another client, sitting behind me, while I stood at the checkout counter. It was a tiny bit alarming. She was very sweet, but then asked me what I did for work. I told her I work from home and she gasped and said, “Well why are you even getting a flu shot?!” That threw me, I’ll admit. My answer in the moment was that I have a young child, but also… shouldn’t everyone get a flu shot? You can get the flu at the grocery store. She then chatted with me for a few minutes about having kids (she has a baby). It was a very pleasant interaction but also kind of weird.
- Flannel Time: We have reached the flannel sheets portion of the year. I don’t normally love flannel sheets, because I sleep hot. But our regular sheets are feeling a little chilly lately. I’m a little apprehensive though because our house heats very unevenly. The house will get colder and colder until you’re shivering even under the covers – I have been wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt to bed, when I much prefer a T-shirt – and then the furnace will decide it’s time to take action and it will WHOOSH to life and churn out an intense fog of heat so that you’re kicking off the covers and stripping off layers – and then it will turn off, exhausted by its efforts, and the cycle begins again. Will flannel sheets be pleasant or unbearable? Time will tell.
- Forwarding: We continue to receive mail for the previous owners. It’s not quite at the level it was – at first, we got boxes and season tickets to sports games and multiple cases of wine in addition to catalogs and letters and paychecks and things. But we still get some mail. We have been here since September 1. Is it time to start writing “return to sender” on the mail we receive? Obviously the nice thing to do is to keep holding the mail for the previous owners, and texting them occasionally, and asking them what they’d like us to do with it. (They always come to pick it up, and have ignored my suggestion that we could drop it at their new house.) I keep thinking about how mortified I was to learn, from the people who bought our old house, that they’d been receiving mail for us. My husband had been so diligent about setting up mail forwarding and systematically going through all of our bills and regular mailings to make sure our address was changed. And yet some things slipped past the gate. I also keep thinking about how, at our old house, we continued to get mail for the previous owners even though we’d lived there for twelve years. Not a lot of mail, but one or two pieces a year even at the end. Is mail forwarding really that tough? Are we all really that unclear about ALL the places that have our address?
- Fear of Friendliness: I saw one of our new neighbors outside and said hello and asked if she worked from home. When she said she was home most days, I said I was too and would she want to get a coffee sometime? She said sure. But now that I’ve made the overture, I don’t know what to do! Do I… have her over for coffee? I don’t actually know how to make coffee (although my husband could probably teach me). And if she comes for coffee, do I need to offer food as well? What do people eat? Do I live on this planet because I don’t feel like it. Do I suggest going for a walk? What if we have nothing to talk about? What’s a normal thing for people to do when they are trying to get to know other people? While I really, truly would love to get to know my new neighbors, I am kind of berating myself for suggesting anything. I know it wasn’t, like, set in stone or anything, and we could probably just never follow up. But… I want to follow up. Even if I also vehemently do NOT want to follow up.
That’s it for today, Internet. What are you thinking about on this fall Friday?
I am kinda sorta attempting to complete NaBloPoMo, with the full expectation that life will make it impossible any day now. If you want to follow along, or join the fun, check out San’s blog here.
Let’s do the 5!
– I’m all for getting rid of the time change, as long as we stay on summer time.
– What the what with the “oh you’re home so why get a flu shot”. I dunno, I kinda like increasing my odds of not getting sick and not getting my family sick but that’s just me.
– It always boggles my mind when people say to sleep in a cold room to improve your sleep. Really? Being warm and comfortable is what relaxes me and lets me go to sleep.
– The part that I love about moving is that honeymoon phase when all of your junk mail is still going to the old house. Sigh, after a few years they figure it out and catch up with you.
– Don’t overthink it! If you would LIKE to learn to make coffee, great, otherwise the next time you ask don’t use the word coffee. In theory if she comes over you can offer tea. If you’ve got snacks you can offer them, but she’s aware that she’s coming to someone’s house and not a restaurant. And look at me pretending that I’ve ever had a neighbor over to my house in my life because I haven’t.
TIME CHANGE IS THE WORST. Omg I am so fucked up this week. It is dark here at 4:21. That is sunset, 4:21. And I usually wake up at 4 or 4:30 in the morning so now I’m waking up and am wide awake at 3 or 3:30 in the morning. I’m trying to go to bed at my regular time to get on track but I am TIRED Suzanne.
That is so weird, I have never heard a pharmacist ask why someone would get a flu shot? Um, just because you work at home doesn’t mean you never leave your home.
I used to love flannel sheets but I am so hot flashy lately that I am going to put off putting them on.
Canada post has a service where you pay like $100 and all your mail gets forwarded for a year, which is what I did. That said just yesterday we got mail for my husband’s grandma, who died in I think 2008 or 2009.
You can have tea instead of coffee! No one really goes over to a person’s house for coffee and then is offended if there is no coffee. Or, if they are, you probably don’t want to be around them. If you have baking, offer some, but it’s no big deal for sure. She’s lucky, I’d love to be your neighbour!
I do okay with the falling back time change, but the spring forward one does me in. Still I understand your situation. We weren’t allowed to get our flu shots at the grocery pharmacy, had to go to the doctor’s office. HOWEVER we got our Covid vaccine booster at the grocery pharmacy as it was the only place we could get it. Just as long as it makes no sense and inconveniences me, that seems to be the plan.
First of all- I love turning the clocks back. LOVE IT. Those pitch dark drives to school in the morning were awful. It’s so much more cheerful to have more daylight in the morning. Now, I will say one thing- I live in Florida, closer to the equator, so sunrise and sunset times aren’t as extreme as other places. LIke I just read Nicole’s comment- 4:21??? That would be kind of terrible. It’s dark here by around 6, which I don’t think is bad at all. If we have to get rid of DSL, can we leave the clocks where they are now, and not turn them ahead in the spring? That’s what I vote for.
I also don’t know how to make coffee because I don’t like it and never drink it! My husband has some complicated way of doing involving- I think?- a French press? Anyway, this has led to some awkward situations when we have houseguests and I want to offer them coffee. Either ask your neighbor again but specify TEA (I’ll come over for a cup of your Uncle Grey!) OR suggest going to a coffeeshop, if that’s at all convenient.
My dream night is for the house to be freezing cold so I can bundle up under a quilt. I wouldn’t like the part where the furnace comes on and then you’re roasting though. I feel like I’m always roasting at night because the house is rarely as cool as I would like it.
We seem to have a lot in common today:
I can’t sleep long enough this week either. My body refuses to switch back to standard time, even though I am going to be at my bedtime on standard time. It’s awful.
I switched over to flannel sheets just today.
We have lived in this house 21 years and very occasionally we still get mail for the previous owners. It makes me wonder if I am still getting mail at our old apartment or any of my other old addresses.
My own personal thing is that I refuse to wear my winter coat or break out the flannel sheets until after Thanksgiving. I refuse to let cold weather win. That’s my same rule for Christmas decorations, too. Although we bought five bags of seasonal Hershey Kisses at the grocery store last night because we waited last year and they didn’t have any of my husband’s preferred flavor and he was kind of upset. Now we are part of the escalating holiday calendar problem.
I also hate DST but have no faith in the government ever doing away with it. The senate passed the bill to do away with it but the house didn’t so that bill by the senate expired. Our government can barely elect a speaker of a house or pass a continuing resolution to fund the government/avoid a shut down so I place zero faith in them! I wish MN would pass their own law but I don’t see that happening either.
We put flannel sheets on our bed about a month ago. It had been so chilly and I wanted to feel warm!
The mail thing is annoying. We had our mail forwarded but it didn’t seem to work for all prices of mail, like holiday cards. The new owners will collect our mail and then walk it over every couple of months. I would prefer they just forward it and have the mail system take care of it. We get a few things for the previous owners and I just email them to have them pick them up typically. It shouldn’t be this hard, though!
Thans for the reminder to get my flu shot. I think everyone should get a flu shot, because you CAN get it anywhere. Weird indeed.
I think you invite her over to your house and have tea or juice or bottled water or coffee. I don’t make coffee either, but Coach usually sets the machine up for me in advance. If it were me, I’d make pumpkin bread. Maybe put out some trail mix. Keep it reallu simple. Then you can ask how long she’s lived there, did she know the people in that house, and go from there. It’ll be great.
“I don’t actually make coffee, so I hope you drink tea,” seems perfectly okay to say when your neighbor comes over. And offering a few nice cookies or slices of banana or pumpkin bread would be perfect. If it’s not homemade, who cares? The hospitality is the point. And you already made the invitation.
We still get mail at the lakehouse for the original owners who haven’t lived there in decades–not even the people we bought it from! We toss it; it’s usually junk.
Count me in the Team Standard Time column, I hate the dark mornings more than the dark evenings.
I think we may have the same stupid furnace. Our A/C is the same way. You’re sweating, you’re FREEZING, you’re sweating. It’s ridiculous.
Is there a coffee shop nearby? Maybe you take a walk there? Or else you admit that you would love to have her over and get to know her a bit, but that you don’t actually KNOW how to make coffee, but you can have tea…and I would put cookies or something out. Maybe the fall chocolate chip cookie recipe that everyone raves about that I haven’t tried yet…
Not a fan of the time change. I am not a morning person and have often said “I don’t care what time the sun comes up, I’m not getting out of bed a second earlier than I have too!” I’d rather drive to work in the dark instead of just doubling the time I have to drive to work with the sun just coming up and shining right at me.
I put flannel sheets on the bed a few weeks ago. It felt a little early, but I was cold. A furnace repairman one told me that the house is a little too small to have zoned HVAC, but also a little too oddly laid out for the one zone system to work well in every room. Our bedroom is one of less efficiently served rooms.
After 7 years, we still very occasionally get mail for the previous owners. I always write “Return to Sender – Moved – No forwarding address” and toss it back in the outgoing mail.
I feel you on:
-Falling back- I’ve been so tired this week!
-Flu shots- When I got mine in October, there was a very loud man voicing his displeasure about the shot and Joe Biden (insert eyeroll), and my teenager was very uncomfortable. Also, I had symptoms for a month.
-Flannel sheets- I’ve never used them before, but you’re making me wonder if I should. Also, I get hot at night, but what if I turn the heat off and use flannel sheets?? I’m thinking out loud here. This could be a game changer, Suzanne.
-Fear of friendliness- My god, this is me. I have friends I’ve known for years, and it makes me uneasy when the conversation dwindles over lunch. I would be thinking every single one of your thoughts. I’m sorry I am of no help. 😘
This made me snort: “Do I… have her over for coffee? I don’t actually know how to make coffee (although my husband could probably teach me).” Because… same! We have a fancy coffee maker, but I never drink coffee or make my partner coffee and here we are. I’ve just learned to invite people over for tea now, because I can boil water.
Also, when we moved here six years ago, I went for a walk with my neighbor (who’s two decades older than I am) and now she’s like family. What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that a walk is nice and that way perhaps you could get to a nearby coffeeshop and you don’t have to worry about what to serve? It’s nice that your neighbor is friendly!
I use the term “coffee” to mean any hot beverage. No one will be mad if it is tea, I promise! Isn’t it hard to navigate relationships like this as an adult? So many layers to it and I always overthink things.
I don’t mind the darker evenings but the time change it self throws me for a loop. It’s like jet lag but without a fun international trip involved… 🙁
Ohhh right up my alley!
1. I don’t mind it, one extra hour to read or get ready 🙂 Darkness and cold doesn’t bother me.
2. Did that back in mid September
3. Flannel sheets: we don’t own any but I do own two flannel shirts and love them!
4. I’m tired just from thinking about nurturing a new connection. You can do better than me, I’m sure!
I rant about the time change EVERY YEAR. It messes everyone up, especially kids. We won’t even talk about babies, yikes. I love flannel sheets and have mine on right now too. My heat is fairly even although my upstairs can get chilly in cold weather and hot in warm. Love my heat pump but sometimes miss my old system. I would just ask her. I’m good at self-deprecating laughs as I admit that I’m not sure where we should go for coffee. 🙂
Did you ask if she wanted to come over for coffee or if she wanted to get a coffee? If you said “get” you have an easy option, offer to pick her up on the way to Starbucks or some other coffee shop. Then you can have tea and not have to worry about making coffee. But if you have her in your home, as you said, your husband can show you how to make it (depending on how he makes it; it’s usually not hard). I have a feeling once you get past the awkwardness that is meeting up with what is a virtual stranger; things will even out as you begin to discuss your work, families, etc.
I don’t mind the time change so much in the fall, but spring is hard.
I got my flu shot today ( and I am wondering why anybody would question why you get a flu shot – ahm, because I want to protect myself and others?).
If at all convenient, I’d probably ask the neighbor to go for a walk and get a coffee at a coffee shop… it gives you something “to do” and usually offers opportunities to talk about something that you see (“oh, look at that dog, the squirrel… ” etc, if you run out of topics. And everybody can get the drink that they like.
Don’t get me started on the heater system in this country (I think I will pick up that topic in a future blog posts), because I cannot figure out how a (maybe not so) advanced nation hasn’t figured out a better system than “letting the house get cold, then blast hot air until everyone is sweating and then letting it cool off again to the point of freezing. Sigh.
I also need to get some flannel sheets is what I am saying.
TIME CHANGE GAH. HATE HATE HATE.
I am holding out a little longer on the flannel sheets but it is my very favorite to sleep with them and open the window over my bed– such a delight!!
Yes, over for coffee!! And make muffins or something. I had a neighbor (10 years ago) have me over for coffee and she didn’t know how to make it and asked me to make it and it made me feel like I was imposing– def sort the coffee process out first.
FUCK THE FUCKING TIME CHANGE. They keep doing polls here and EVERYONE votes to get rid of it and then they go ha ha, suckers, just kidding, we don’t actually care what you think.
Why are you even getting a flu shot….what? Was it a pharmacist impostor? What the heck? Getting my double flu shot/covid shot whammy on Tuesday. Good times.
Oh god I hear you on the how to people. Some people seem to know how – me, not so much. Chances are she feels the same though, and she said sure, so… drop a note and give a couple of times for coffee?
This week was endless. I’m still dragging. I wake up and 2 hours later, I’m tired. Sigh. So I get it.
Also, if you figure out this adulting and peopling thing, please clue me in. Please. (I second the suggestion of literally “going and getting” coffee, not “having the neighbor come here”. But that’s because I am super-protective of my space, so…)
I am STILL getting mail from my previous apartment dwellers, and I’ve lived here for 3 years. I don’t get it!
Your final point is just SO ME. I always feel so annoyed with myself when I make plans because NOW I HAVE TO FOLLOW UP. Is there a local coffee shop you guys could go to? Or perhaps change the coffee date to a walk and see if you guys have any sort of connection through that. And things might feel awkward at first! Finding friends is like dating and dating can start with awkwardness that smoothes out. Please keep us posted on how this relationship progresses – I am intrigued. And proud of you for reaching out!!
The time change is BS. No one likes it, so why must we do it?
Flannel sheets are the best invention.
I’d figure out how to make a small pot of coffee, and maybe offer a coffee cake? Some cookies? Also, you can tell her that you don’t actually drink coffee, but felt it was the type of introduction ‘normal’ people make. LOL. You never know….she might be in the same Fear of Friendliness boat as you!
Another thing that is so different in Germany. Yo.u would never get a flue shot outside a doctors office. Only medical personal can administer it. I mean during Covid when we needed people to get the shots they actually had busses going to grocery stores but that was because a lot of people didn’t show up at doctor offices.
Getting to know people is really tough. As you may remember I am also in the middle of a new neighborhood and it is been tough to get in touch. I like the option of having a coffee and a walk. That leaves you with getting to know the person before inviting to your home. Each can bring a beverage of choice (and it is a good conversation starter) and you have a time frame to walk. Like. during lunch break or a certain path so it is limited.