Well, we have slipped seamlessly from Mayhem-May to Jumble-June. Everything is good! We are so fortunate! And yet I feel like I am constantly buzzing like a high-tension wire. Do not touch me or you will experience a shock. Either that or I will latch on to you like we are two halves of a Velcro fastener and make you listen to a litany of dumb things I am anxious about. I am not sure what to do first, and I am so overwhelmed that I am having trouble even putting together a to-do list.
This feels near universal among my cohort, too. Everyone is dashing around in haphazard zigzags, trying to do all the things. WHAT is going on? Is every year like this and I just block the memory? Or is there something special about 2023?
One of the most pressing things on my mind (but not THE most, because everything seems very urgent right now) is Father’s Day.
My husband requested that we go out for brunch, so I duly made a reservation. But now MY father is also in town for Father’s Day, which is wonderful; I cannot remember the last time I spent Father’s Day with him. But… I don’t know how to navigate this. Several weeks ago, I made dinner reservations for a place I think my father would like, but I haven’t asked if that’s how he wants to spend Father’s Day.
And now it’s very possible that my father-in-law will be here for Father’s Day, too. He and my mother-in-law might be arriving on Monday, but they might be arriving on Sunday, and no one is clear on which, and I feel like I maybe could get the answer by calling my mother-in-law directly instead of relying on my husband but I don’t want to because it should not be my job to manage my husband’s parents’ plans. That’s a whole other issue that we are just going to stuff into a tiny drawer and firmly close. The more pressing issue is that now my father-in-law could be here for Father’s Day and if he is, I REALLY don’t know what to do. Maybe… spend the morning celebrating my husband, then we split up to celebrate our separate fathers? What do people DO, when they live in the same area as their family?
I feel like this shouldn’t be a big deal, and yet I simultaneously feel like I’m in the duck/birdseed/fox situation, staring at a boat and a river, and trying to figure out how to get all three across without anyone being eaten, and also I don’t know how to operate a boat.
Okay! Briskly moving on to something I have full control over, which is food!
Dinners for the Week of June 12-June 18 (it is MID-JUNE already, people)
- Slow Cooker BBQ Pork with Baked Potatoes: I am in the mood for something saucy that I can put on a baked potato. We haven’t had BBQ pork in a while, and it fits the bill perfectly. I literally chop up an onion, throw it into the slow cooker with a pork tenderloin, and then douse the whole thing with my favorite BBQ sauce, some shakes of sriracha, and maybe some minced garlic. It is so easy. I know some people feel that chopping an onion negates the “so easy” claim, but it’s not like the chopping has to be uniform! It’s a very rough chop, takes two minutes. After a few hours in the slow cooker, I shred the pork and then put it on top of a baked potato.
- Greek Chicken Chopped Salad: I have just been in the mood for a crisp Greek salad with crumbly feta lately.
- Hot Honey Crispy Salmon Bowls: Instagram keeps showing me reels about hot honey salmon and I have finally cracked under the pressure. I wonder if this will be the secret code that unlocks my husband’s heretofore dormant love of salmon?
- Basil Chickpea Curry: This sounds yummy and perfect for some of the rainy days predicted this week.
What are you doing for dinners this week? Is your June a chaotic jumble?
*waving hands wildly*
This is me! Last summer was a bit of a poop show for me mentally (and physically) so I feel extra anxious heading into this summer and right now life just feel crazy. Not necessarily too busy to manage – just a lot of loose ends that I can’t tie up and I HATE loose ends, and end up tripping over loose ends and making a fool of myself (mostly proverbial here, but sometimes literally, too).
So I feel you.
I have put zero thought into Father’s Day. My FIL will be visiting and we will likely go out for supper. That’s the extent of my planning. I feel moderately guilty – mostly for my husband because he’s an incredible father and I want to celebrate that – but not enough to do anything about it. Honestly, neither of them cares much for gifts or celebration, so I think short of doing some huge gesture (deep sea fishing! a trip!) neither would remember Father’s Day either way.
Ugh – so many loose ends sounds really frustrating, Elisabeth! I really, really hope that this summer allows you to establish new boundaries and hopefully dispel some of that stress. xoxo
Unless your husband, you dad and your FIL don’t get along, I would have the whole group go out to brunch or dinner for Father’s Day. If your in- laws can’t make it, you can always make the reservation smaller.
Ah yes, I perhaps should have been more explicit that a group outing is not going to happen.
You and I are on the same page about chopping onions. It’s just not a big deal. Same with garlic. I draw the line at ginger though. That’s where I take the shortcut and just buy minced ginger in a jar that I can keep in the fridge.
Hmmm…I’m home alone tonight and I have salmon in the freezer and a jar of hot honey…I might just make myself a simplified version of the hot honey salmon.
I support your hot honey plan and hope it goes well! I am with you on minced ginger — I buy the frozen cubes. But I also use a giant jar of minced garlic because I hate using a garlic press.
Have you ever frozen ginger before you grated it? We have a recipe that calls for fresh ginger and the fresh ginger really makes the meal, so I grate it pretty regularly and realizing that if you peel it and stick in the freezer, it’s like a bazillion times easier to grate really was a game changer.
Yes! I have done that! But even better, Engie, is buying pre-grated ginger in the little cubes and popping out a cube or five when you need it!
June is a wild ride – I feel like meal planning at all is wildly aspirational haha! We are doing burger bowls this week at some point and I really want some sort of salad with crunchy chickpeas. We have recital 3 of the month on Father’s Day, so my guy will have to be ok with post-recital ice cream as a shared celebration…
WHEW! It sounds so busy, Lindsay! Glad that there will at least be ice cream involved.
I have never lived close to more than one father I need to celebrate! I have been envious of my in-laws who can see both sides of the family for major holidays, but I also see them getting very stressed out about how much time they spend at each location. I kind of envy you for your conundrum, but I also really don’t!
Right?!?! Like… it’s inherently GOOD to live next to family that you love and enjoy! And yet… there are all of these logistical considerations that I have never dealt with before.
FATHER’S DAY IS THIS WEEKEND! I just kind of remembered that. My husband is out of town for a couple of days and I think he is back on Saturday, but who knows really. The boys have a few gifts for him and I think I’m going to buy an ice cream cake from DQ because he loves it and never gets to have one because of my non-dairy thing. But I haven’t even got a card for my dad, aieee. I better get on that. I won’t see him on Father’s Day but I’ll see him a few weeks after, and he’s pretty easygoing about that. When my parents lived in the same city they were a bit high maintenance about such things and it was fairly stressful to navigate, but now they are 2 hours away, soon to be a lot more than that, so we just have to roll with things. I have friends who have both sets of parents in town and Christmas was always the biggest deal in the world. One friend would literally have to divide the time to the minute otherwise the other side would complain. That was years ago and I think she’s set some firm boundaries since then. Anyway, we’ve only ever had my parents close by, and generally Mother’s Day was trickier than Father’s Day. Do dads not really care about FD? I don’t know.
This, omg, Suzanne, this: “That’s a whole other issue that we are just going to stuff into a tiny drawer and firmly close.” I think I told you that I will be living next door to my MIL and every time I think of it I literally stuff it into the drawer and close it. So, yes. I am completely unhelpful, except that maybe I am trying to do a long distance “we are both velcro” thing.
You can velcro me with anxiety anytime, Nicole!
And also yes, just stuffing things (including all future holidays omg) into drawers left and right over here. Let’s deal with the IMMEDIATE ISSUES first; the others will be there later, I’m sure.
Your plan for your husband sounds PERFECT, an ice cream cake is a wonderful treat. And your dad will be fine! It will all be fine!
Father’s Day is kind of a touchy day for us as my FIL passed away 10 years ago this summer. My husband is not a ‘talker’ so he doesn’t explicitly talk about the holiday being hard but I know it is. We’ve gone up to my parents the last 2 years for the weekend because we get Monday off for Juneteenth. This year my local nephew has his graduation party so I’ll get to see my dad, hopefully… he’s currently in the hospital with a nasty infection but will hopefully be discharged in a couple of day and be able to get his daily IV treatment at a local clinic so he can attend the party. I was supposed to take my parents to the airport very early on Sunday morning so they could fly to AZ to visit my sister/meet her baby but that trip is canceled because of this IV/infection situation. Wow, my comment is really going off the rails here, isn’t it? There is talk of us getting together with some other families at a park on Sunday morning. One dad reserved a baseball diamond. There’s a farmer’s market at that park so there will be lots to entertain my boys (read = donuts). We didn’t do much for Mother’s Day (because it’s not a big deal to me) and Father’s Day gets a similar treatment. My gift to my husband is always the gift of time – I encourage him to plan some golf.
For meals, I made a big lentil soup on saturday which was a hot, humid day but we eat soup year round. Tonight I’m making that Chicken Tikka Masala with cauliflower that I think you think, and then we’ll make fish tacos later this week.
Since my kids aren’t in school yet, June is just like any other month for us! Paul does transition to a new care program the last week of the month and Will starts his transition to a new classroom at school, so we have some transitions which will probably throw things off, but all in all, it’s a pretty average month for us all things considered!
Your Father’s Day sounds complicated with 3 dads to celebrate, especially if the celebrations can’t be combined. Hopefully you guys can come up with a plan. There’s a limit to the # of meals you can do in a day. Not knowing the dynamics, I’d have his dad join you for brunch, if he’s available? And then keep your dinner plans with your dad? Or celebrate Father’s Day on a different day for one of the dads?
Oh I’m sorry to hear that your dad is dealing with this infection! I hope it’s cleared up quickly. Such a bummer that they won’t be able to see your sister!
Lentil soup sounds absolutely delicious to me right now. Maybe I’ll make a pot for lunches.
I’m glad I don’t have this problem, but I understand because I used to have it in my first marriage. My current husband plays golf with his father in the morning and we have dinner at my mother and father’s house in the evening. BUT, I understand how difficult it is to organize all of this. Did your husband plan everything for Mother’s Day? I believe I know the answer because neither did my husband. 🤣
The one happy part of this is that you will be able to spend Father’s Day with your father this year, which I am very happy for you (and your father!) 😘
Yes! That is VERY exciting!
That pulled pork over a baked potato sounds heavenly right about now…
I was also going to suggest a group event; but see that is not in the cards. That does make things sticky. Until you have actual answers about who is going to be where and when; that makes planning next to impossible. Sending hugs because I know that is stressful.
The middle of June…HOW?!
It was so good and satisfying, Gigi. I had it for dinner last night. YUM.
I have not had to deal with this myself, and in my own case It Would Not Have Worked, but I do know a couple of families where what they do is they have an extended-family Father’s Day: the husband (because in both these examples I know The Wife, so these relationships are from her point of view), the father, the father-in-law, and in one of the two cases the brother-in-law, all gather together with other family to be celebrated. The wife, the mother, the mother-in-law (and in one of the two cases the sister-in-law) bring gifts and beer, and make a big show of Bringing The Men Their Beers and so forth, and the men Grill Meat and Watch Sports and whatnot. The women make desserts and sides. It seems to go well for them.
One thing I would be asking myself at this moment, if I had a mother-in-law, is what my husband had done on Mother’s Day for my celebration, for HIS mother’s celebration, and for MY mother’s celebration. And what he would be doing to manage a conundrum like the one you currently face, where it is unclear how many fathers would be present: what would he have done to find out which mothers would be in town, and what they might like? what arrangements would he have made? I might let that guide me as I made plans for my husband, his father, etc.
Ah, I see a group thing will not happen. Then I would probably split to have your husband handle his dad (and I would leave that ENTIRELY up to him), while I handled my dad, with a separate celebration with you and daughter celebrating your husband.
I feel like that makes the most sense, right? Splitting up the fathers? And yes. My husband can handle whatever it is that they do.
SO MANY FATHERS. A good problem to have, but ugh. June IS a jumble. We have a couple weeks of school and then the beginning of summer and it’s just. There’s so much.
SO MUCH. And everything is good and happy, so I feel guilty feeling overwhelmed. But SO OVERWHELMED.
Hmm, I am beginning to see the silver lining to my problems…the father of my children does not do anything, not even send me a text on Mother’s Day. I will be responding in kind this year (although, I suppose, encouraging the children to do something, although not very hard). My ex-FIL passed away some years ago, and never expected anything anyway (in the country he grew up in, the fathers get together to drink beer and watch sports/do sporty things on their own, which seems like a good answer to me). I have a complex relationship with my own father, somewhat improved since my mother’s serious illness, but he is used to not expecting anything from me by now, and was never much of one for presents anyway. Besides, I will be on a plane this year to the other side of the world, and Sunday, June 18 pretty much won’t exist.
This sounds a little lonely as I write it, especially point one, but it does solve the dilemma of wondering how to solve problems like yours! Hope you can come up with a good solution, because I clearly have nothing!
Kay, I am holding onto the part where you said Sunday won’t exist because you’ll be traveling and that seems like the ideal. I know these holidays can be very complex for people for all sorts of reasons, and your situation really brings that into focus. I hope this Sunday skips by without you noticing it. xxoo
Love the metaphor at the end! Father’s day is very low key at our house. FIL passed when my husband was 15… My dad lives in Russia and they don’t really celebrate it. T is getting chocolates and two drawings from the kids where they state why they love him. It looks like s**t but because a 3 year old and a 5 year old did it lol
Will make T breakfast and hold a bbq at our house with neighbors.
That sounds like a perfect Father’s Day!
Father’s Day is a non-event for us, as my father, father-in-law, and stepfather are all deceased, and the kids don’t have a Dad.
I was just thinking how much less busy this time of year is when your kids are older. No endless parade of end-of-school-year events. North did have a couple, the thespian society induction last month and the Cappies gala last night, but it used to be a lot more when there were two kids and when one or more of them was in elementary school.
This is such a comforting thought, Steph, because here I am worrying that things will just keep getting busier and busier!
This week is definitely a chaotic jumble because my daughter has day camp which she has to be transported to, plus summer band two nights a week… next week will be easier and then the week after that will be EASY because she will be at sleepaway camp! Easy, except for getting her there and back, of course.
Right now we have nothing planned for Father’s Day, and I better get on that. I don’t have a solution for the “too many fathers” issue. Luckily (?) we just have my husband to deal with.
That basil chickpea curry recipe sounds good! I might make that this week. I love tofu, but we’ve been having waaaay too much of it and I need a change. And I love chickpeas.
You and my husband with the Greek Chicken Chopped Salad. He’s become obsessed with it now that the temps are warmer. As for Father’s Day it was a non-event here and that’s okay. Funny what we all attend to as important holidays, and how that changes as we get older.
If all Fathers are in one space, they share the celebration. I think that’s a rule. Or a law.
“That’s a whole other issue that we are just going to stuff into a tiny drawer and firmly close.” In our relationship, I pretty much handle all holidays, even those that don’t pertain to me. (Father’s day. My Father has passed, and my husband has a Father and a StepFather, But I’m still in charge of that holiday.)
I LOVE GREEK CHICKEN and Salad. So this is a win-win.
Oof, buried in dads. I was alone for mother’s day, which was totally fine with me, but my parents had me over because my mother couldn’t bear for me to be alone (she meant well lol) and it was lovely. Not sure what’s happening with father’s day because I will be back from picking up Eve at school and a long drive back, but my dad doesn’t care that much and my husband’s dad is far away and bonkers so a phone call should do it.
I didn’t realize hot was a modifier for the honey and not the bowl and I am intrigued. I made peanut chicken tonight and we ate some and froze the rest for when Eve gets home because it’s her favourite – Monday I had a salad with chicken and eggs and yesterday I had wings at the bar and tomorrow we’re going out with my parents for my birthday.
Father’s Day is a tricky day when there are so many in close proximity. But hooray for your dad being in close proximity. I’d say your husband can spend some time with Carla while you spend time with your dad, right? Good luck sorting that out. My dad is nearby, so we each just go and stop by typically and spend some time with him. Our father’s day is a little complicated this year. Long story that I will share at some point.
The pork in the crock pot is very intriguing. I do count chopping an onion as very easy. Coach grilled tonight. I made a vat of sloppy joe’s Monday. Tomorrow I’m making balsamic chicken and peppers – one mountain for us and another smaller mountain for the twins and their dad. I’ve begged the dad to let me make them dinner since the mom passed and I finally said I would not take NO as an answer.
Hmm… the only advice I can give is how my brother handles Mother’s Day since there’s his wife, my mom, and his mother-in-law. Sometimes, everyone comes to a Mother’s Day brunch and sometimes it’s just my brother. It’s never everyone at once. Maybe brunch with your husband and then dinner with your dad and mom? It’s a tricky situation, for sure!
That BBQ pork recipe sounds AMAZE. I love easy Crockpot meals. And I’ll just buy pre-cut onion so I don’t even have to worry about the chopping! BOOM.
Oh my! I am with Lisa, maybe you can do brunch with your husband and his father and dinner with your father? My Dad is so very low key; I just wish him happy Father’s Day and he is happy. However, we try to go out and do things as a family year round, and I especially make special hiking time with my Dad every summer, which is way more fun (for me) than planning a brunch on a busy Sunday. I hope you figure it out soon!
I just wish I could see my Dad for Father’s Day, wouldn’t matter what we do… but I understand that you’re stressed as it seems like everyone kind of expects YOU to make all the arrangements (or, at least you feel like you have to make sure that something is planned for all the Dads in your life lest they be disappointed that nobody planned anything. Sigh. What does your husband think about celebrating his father and your father on Father’s Day? Could you just all go out to dinner together?
Oh, my gracious, Suzanne, what a nice-but-not-fun-at-ALL situation to be in. I hope that, whatever the outcome, your father’s day was a holiday that helped you celebrate all of the fathers in your family’s life. <3
And that curry looks wonderful save for the (sigh) coconut milk. I am forever seeking non-coconutty (blergh) curries…