We stayed in eleven hotels over the course of our Road Trip! and so I feel as though I have some very recent expertise in What Hotels Are Like Lately. (By the way, because my husband is a Credit Card Rewards Black Belt, we stayed in nine of them for FREE.) (Or, as I like to point out, for points, which is not quite the same as free, although my husband vehemently disagrees with me.)
First of all, I want to acknowledge that it is clear the hospitality industry is struggling. The hotels we stayed at ALL seemed to have staffing issues, and I know this is a nationwide problem, and that it is affecting the hotels and the people who do work there much more than it is affecting me. Aside from one receptionist who stalked straight past me and another hotel guest without saying “I’ll be with you in a minute” or even glancing at us, the hotel personnel we encountered were friendly and helpful and doing the absolute BEST they could.
Don’t get me wrong! I am glad hotels exist. I vastly prefer a hotel to, say, staying on the floor of a friend’s house or finding an AirBnB or sleeping in my car or renting an RV. But for all their benefits, they DO have deficits.
It seems to me that the people who design hotel rooms have never once stayed in a hotel room, or perhaps even A Room of any sort. They are all caught up in The Design – which I acknowledge probably helps draw clients – and not caught up enough in The Usability.
- I Love Lamp: We had not one but TWO hotel rooms that had a dearth of lamps. In one hotel, we had a two-room suite. There was a bed in each room, with a nightstand near each bed… but only one room/nightstand had a lamp. In the other hotel, there were NO LAMPS AT ALL. Just overhead lighting. Both rooms had overhead lighting, but you had to extinguish the lights from the door, which in both cases was across the room from the bed. While I am aware that furnishing all the rooms in a hotel must be quite pricey, surely a lamp by each bed should have been part of the budget????
- Were You Born in a Barn: Hotels are obsessed with barn doors – OBSESSED. Maybe this is the Magnolia Effect in action (although I didn’t see any shiplap), but I am guessing that hotel designers drool all over themselves at this perfect intersection of Trendy and Space-Saving. The majority of our hotels had barn doors for the bathroom. They are lovely, but the thing is that barn doors are gappy. They do not shut as firmly as regular doors do. Which is something I MISS A LOT when I am sharing a very small space with other people and our collective bathroom needs. (P.S. This little marriage saver has accompanied us in Europe and now across the U.S. and I love it.)
- Party of One: Except for our very last hotel, all of our rooms were meant to hold at least two people. They each had two queen beds, and could have fit up to four people. Four! People! But the rooms are very clearly geared toward ONE PERSON, MAYBE TWO. The nightstands were inevitably between the two beds, so that the person on the outer side of the bed had nowhere to put his/her glasses, phone, watch, books, etc. etc. etc. Several of the lamps – which, when they were provided, were on the shared nightstand – were controlled by a single switch, so that both beds had to agree that it was time for lights out. In our last hotel, the one hotel where we had a king bed (and a sofa bed for Carla shudder), my husband’s side of the bed (he always sleeps on the left) had the nightstand and mine had nothing. Worse: His side of the bed had multiple outlets and mine had… nothing. Other nights, when I wasn’t the lucky one to have a nightstand, I was able to at least plug my phone in next to the bed and set it on the headboard or a window sill or something.
- Carry In, Carry Out: Hotel rooms have the smallest trash cans I have ever seen. At one hotel, the single trash can was divided into two identical sections – one for trash, one for recycling. The recycling side fit a single plastic water bottle.
- No Sleep Til Brooklyn: If you want to control your room’s temperature, you will not sleep. Not one wink. Because the air conditioner/heating unit will roar on at unexpected intervals all night long, clattering and moaning and blasting out air that is at least ten degrees hotter/more frigid than you anticipated until you give up and turn it off and succumb to the ambient air temperature.
- Form Over Function: One of our hotels had a beautiful armoire with an interior light that turned on when you opened the doors and a fancy teapot and a mini Nespresso machine. It had neither a refrigerator nor an extra roll of toilet paper. One of our hotels had a gorgeous little coffee station with three pouches of local coffee but it was the hotel with ZERO LAMPS. I would rather have lamps than local coffee. (Side note: the place without the extra toilet paper was also the place with the miniature garbage can. I called down to housekeeping, requesting more toilet paper and a garbage bag. The kind housekeeper showed up with two garbage bags, one mini-sized to fit the trash can, one an enormous lawn-and-leaf sized bag. I took the latter, thanked her, and shut the door… only to realize that I perhaps should have reassured her that nothing horrifying had happened to necessitate my odd combination of requests.)
- And the SHOWERS. This should technically be part of the previous bullet, but it drives me bonkers enough that it deserves its own. So many showers now have the rainfall shower heads. You know – the ones that stand directly above you and drench you? I cannot STAND those stupid shower heads. You can’t get away from the water! If I want to apply shampoo to my head or face wash to my cheeks, I have to step completely out of the line of
firewater and freeze my tuchus completely off to do so. I much prefer the standard shower head. MUCH. Also, hotel shower designers have never taken a shower before. They do not understand that most people need various accessories to help them get clean: soap, shampoo, conditioner. Maybe a razor. Maybe face wash. Maybe body wash. But no. If you shower in a hotel, you are lucky to get one tiny triangular shelf that can barely accommodate a bar of soap and one of the eensy hotel-supplied bottles of shampoo. Unless I am in a hotel that has a bathtub/shower combo, I never know how I’m supposed to shave my legs. My own at-home shower has a little ledge upon which I can rest my foot. But when I’m in a hotel, I have to balance precariously on one foot while I shave the other leg or try to prop it up against the questionably-clean shower wall or bend over and get a mouthful of water while trying to shave. Further proof that hotel designers do not shower: We had one hotel with a BEAUTIFUL shower – fancy stone tiles, rainfall shower head, glass door. Except that there was no door – just a glass panel that went half the length of the shower and then a door-sized open space through which all the cold air of the room could sneak in and shower with you. Perhaps marginally better than the hotels with shower curtains that billow into the shower while you’re washing your hair and play grabby-handsy with your upper thighs, but not by much.
Other things I have noticed: Almost without exception, housekeeping services are on-demand now – if you stay multiple days and want your trash emptied or your linens changed, you need to call ahead (sometimes up to 24 hours in advance, according to in-elevator signage), whereas this was a daily service in previous years. (I never used to take people up on it – I don’t want housekeepers having to make my bed or tidy things up around my suitcases and toothbrush.) Shampoos and conditioners are TINY now, or that they come in big canisters that are permanently attached inside the showers. Probably an environmentally advantageous move, honestly. Shower caps, much to my enduring dismay, are no longer offered alongside your miniature shampoos and bars of soap.
On the not-complaining-or-mocking side of things, the people at the hotels were ALL so nice to Carla. So nice. She loved to march up to the desk when we arrived and say, “We’re checking in” as much as she loved handing over the keys at the end of our stays and saying brightly, “We’re checking out.” The hotel staff invariably found her super charming. One receptionist asked me if he could give her a piece of candy and then allowed her to choose anything she wanted from the hotel snack pantry. Another person acted, with an entirely straight face, like Carla was the person who’d booked and paid for the room, and he asked her very seriously whether she’d enjoyed her stay, and then answered her multiple questions about the hotel (it was in an historic building) with such kindness that I was unable to bring myself to tell him that there had been NO LAMPS in the hotel room. I think it would be so easy, working in a hotel, to be bored or harried or both, but everyone (except for that one woman I mentioned above) was so kind. So kind.
This was a very good review and also it now occurs to me that it has been a very, very long time since I stayed in a hotel.
I so agree with every single thing. Paul and I stayed two nights in a hotel for Rob’s graduation, and another two nights in a hotel with Elizabeth for an event she was attending, and each time I was (1) very very sympathetic to staffing issues and also (2) amazed by poor design. In both hotels, there was a desk, which is very nice, because Paul likes to set up his computer at a desk. But: if someone was sitting at the desk, you could not get past them to get to the bed or the window or the fridge. That seemed as if…well, it seemed like what you said, about how the rooms are ACTUALLY designed for just ONE person. We too had one of those silly tiny divided trash cans, and felt like we were leaving VAST PILES OF TRASH on the floor; we should have asked for a trash bag—or swiped one from the housekeeping cart, which I would not normally do, but we ended up swiping both towels and shampoo from a cart when an entire day had gone by and we still did not have those items (again, sympathy for staffing issues, but also).
9 hotels on points. That’s impressive. We usually stay in rental houses when we travel so we can cook, so North considers them a treat.
As someone who hasn’t traveled or stayed in a hotel since … 2012? … I found this endlessly fascinating! I can’t get over the bad design – you know they were patting themselves on the back for the fancy shower, not even realizing how frustrating it was to actually use.
Also – Carla! I wish I could squeeze her. 🙂
My pet peeve with most hotel and B&B bathrooms is counter space. A lot of them have double sinks, which is nice, I guess, but it takes up space for me to put things like my clothes when I’m showering or to set out my billions of implements for brushing my teeth. It’s like, as you say, they’ve never had to use a bathroom before.
It sounds like you had a good time despite the hotel quirks. Maybe you’re going to start having to pack a desk lamp of your own for when you stay in hotels!
When hotel showers are like that, I sit on the floor in the shower to shave my legs!! 😬😬 I feel a little squirmy sometimes but assuming it’s clean-ish, it gets the job done more comfortably than anything else I have figured out when there is nowhere to put your foot. Hahaha. (I have never publicly admitted this before, so I hope this isn’t super weird….).
I know what you mean about the showers NOT BEING DESIGNED FOR HUMANS THAT NEED TO BATHE/SHAVE.
This post was hilarious and fascinating. I have never, never, never stayed in a hotel with a barn door. Nor do I recall any with a dearth of lamps?!
Also, I love your description of Carla’s interactions with the hotel staff. Precious! And everyone sounds mutually delighted by these exchanges.
I just stayed in a hotel a few months ago, for the first time in a long time, though as it was just me, I didn’t have to deal with any sharing-space issues. Also, it was a handicapped-accessible room, so some of the wide-open spaces were doubtless because of that. It had a separate tub and shower, and yes the shower was just wide open to let all the cool air in, not ideal. But there was a real bathroom door, and a lamp on each bedside table. OTOH, the closet only had a half-height hanging rod, so I had to work out ways to hang up dresses where they wouldn’t be on the floor.
So true! I have stayed in several hotels lately and fully agree about the lack of good bedside lamps, shower doors that don’t close all the way (WHYYY), and no counter space in bathrooms! Great for their photos; frustrating for guests. I do appreciate the ease of checkout in this modern day, however. How cute that Carla liked being “in charge” of all that!
This is so bang-on! We travel a lot. If we stay in a place for more than a couple of nights we usually rent an Airbnb, but it’s not always an option. I’m 100% in agreement on the A/C systems — they drive me crazy! My strategy is that if we are out for a few hours for dinner I turn it as low as possible, get the room really cold, and hope it lasts until morning. Lamps & night tables another annoyance – if there’s a spare chair and it fits, I’ll drag to my side of the bed. Since I read on an ereader, the lamp isn’t a huge issue. Sometimes there is a coffee maker but only “one!” package of regular coffee – I don’t want decaf ( so I give it to my husband:). One garbage can for the room & bathroom – so ridiculous. I love that you have described most of my gripes. Best part though is that staff are for the most part so kind & helpful.
I laughed at your blog, I’m in a wheelchair and have yet to stay in a truly good accessible room. I think and architect should be required to rent a wheelchair for a hotel stay and find out how lousy their designing is.
The lack of lamps, the shower heads, and most of all the LOUD a/c and heaters. I can relate! I also dislike super poufy pillows which are always at hotels. I wake up with a crick in my neck. The last anecdote about Carla and the hotel employee gave me a lump in my throat. Very sweet.
I am definitely team “it was free” when I use points;-) And yes, the short staffing was very noticeable when I went to Chicago this spring. I know that the travel industry is hurting but surely there’s something else in the budget that can be pinched instead of people.
I’d never really though about it before but your nits about hotels are SO spot on!
“I took the latter, thanked her, and shut the door… only to realize that I perhaps should have reassured her that nothing horrifying had happened to necessitate my odd combination of requests.)” Made me (seriously) laugh out loud.
Our shower is ridiculously small and tight (think vertical coffin). The only way I can shave my legs is prior to the actual taking of the shower; I prop my leg up on the toilet lid or the bath, shave and THEN get in the shower.
I love that the staff were so kind to Carla. I remember Man-Child at that age liked to pretend he was the one buying our meal in a restaurant and I really appreciated the staff that played along.
Nine hotels for “free” or “points”? Either way, that is straight up impressive!
Shower curtains playing grabsy with your upper thighs and your fear that the housekeeper may have feared some disaster happened in the room when you requested the garbage bag- so funny.
I’ve stayed in the open shower concept rooms where there is no door and it took me awhile to grasp that they intentionally left off the door.
Back when we were trying to adopt H and D, I was super annoyed by hotels that have ‘suite’ in the name, but then don’t actually have separate sleeping areas. They would count a half wall as a room divider. Um, nope. Not a suite. (I prefer, for example, the Embassy Suites style room – separate, door closing area for children to sleep in).
When we were with my side in Wisconsin, Coach took our garbage out multiple times. We were there for like 4 nights and ran out of toilet paper very early on.
I own several noise makers for the daycare and I bring one with me when I travel so that I can drown out other guests and AC units (and my children, who now stay out later than we do and then sneak back into our room at all hours).
Glad the staff was usually so kind. The staffing issues are rough on us and must be terrible on those who show up for work.
Ugh, I hate hotels. I pretty much only stay in them when traveling for work. They serve their purpose but I agree that they are not thoughtful about how they are designed/laid out. I hate it when there is not an outlet by the bed for my phone. That has improved recently as a lot of lamps have outlets in them now, or there is an outlet by the wall. When we travel with our kids, it’s always to one destination and we always stay in an VRBO or AirBnB and we book a place with multiple bedrooms. It’s more expensive but a worthwhile splurge for us. But it’s not feasible to do that on a big road trip like the one you just did!
The best feature I’ve seen in a hotel was a hotel I stayed at in Ireland I think? I stayed a night because my flight there was in the afternoon and then I flew out the next morning. You had to put your hotel key in this little slot to get the lights in the room to work. I thought that was so clever!
I’m typing this comment from a hotel. For real. My family lives in northern Ontario and I live in Texas so whenever I see them I always fly to Detroit and spend the night at a hotel before taking off for the wilderness in my rental car. I hate the no automatic room service. And yes on the lamps thing, and why are the cabinets the mini fridges are in almost always near impossible to open?
Here for your I Love Lamp and No Sleep Til Brooklyn.
Yes to barn doors in hotels! I understand that they probably save a lot of space, but they are so functionally impractical when you just need to use the bathroom and don’t want to flash everyone else in your party! Ugh.
My mom loves staying in hotels, so we usually do the two queen bed thing when we vacation and I never realized how annoying they must be if you have 3 or 4 people staying in one of those rooms, and don’t have a nightstand to yourself.
I have to admit that I don’t mind that hotel service isn’t automatic anymore. It always felt a little wasteful to have someone clean up after me when I’ve only been in the hotel room for a day or two! But I have wondered how this new change has affected the maid industry.
That is so funny that you mention the barn doors because I know it’s trendy, but we saw NONE during our trip this summer… maybe the trend hasn’t reached the Southwest? LOL
I feel you on the outlet situation… we stayed in many rooms where one side of the bed didn’t have a nighstand and/or outlet to charge your phone. What gives? Most newer hotels at least have desk lamps with integrated USB-plugs, which I appreciated… but they were … far from the bed!
Beautiful piece of writing. Wonderful writing