General Health

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My Personal Care Regimen and Associated Costs

My personal care regimen is something I’ve been thinking about ever since Engie posted about the Beauty Tax a couple weeks ago. (Basic premise: women spend more on their appearance than men do; based on a survey, the average American women spends $877 on her appearance.) While the concept itself was fascinating to me, what I really loved was that Engie gave us a detailed inventory of the items she uses on her own hair, skin, and body upkeep. While I am a little afraid to know how many thousands of dollars I spend each year on my appearance, I still find the whole topic quite interesting.

Blatantly copying Engie, here’s my personal care routine and what I spend money on, in terms of haircare, skincare, cosmetics, and fitness.

SKINCARE:

Because I have rosacea, I have had to change my skincare regimen quite a bit over the past couple of years.

  • Cleanser: I wash my face at least twice a day, and often three times a day: morning, after my workout, and before bed. I use a prescription sulfur-based cleanser which costs me $35.64 per bottle. On the occasions when I wash my face a third time, I use Cetaphil. My husband and I used to share the Cetaphil, but he doesn’t like it, so he’s now buying his own manly face wash. I estimate that I go through about five bottles of Cetaphil a year. The last time I bought it was on November 29, and it cost $8.79 at Target. It’s too early to tell about the sulfur based face wash, but I’m guessing a bottle lasts about two months.
  • Moisturizer: I buy Cerave and Cetaphil products on the recommendation of my dermatologist. I use a Cerave moisturizer at night and a Cetaphil moisturizer with sunscreen during the day. The Cerave costs me $16.99 at Target and the Cetaphil costs me $15.49. I don’t love either, but they are very light. On a previous post when I was whining about my skin, someone recommended Clinique Moisture Surge, which I used to use religiously, so I may consider going back to that. My memory is that it left my skin feeling like I was nourishing it, rather than like I was applying expensive air to it. I haven’t been using these products long enough to know how frequently I go through them, but I think I’m on my third bottle of each.
  • Cleansing Wipes: Occasionally, I will remove my makeup with a Neutrogena wipe. Nothing removes mascara like these bad boys. I get a big box of these wipes from Costco, for around $26.00. They last me a long time; I probably buy one or two boxes a year.
  • Lips: My lips get very dry, especially in winter, so I apply Vaseline frequently throughout the day and every night before bed. The last time I purchased Vaseline was November 29, and it cost me $5.49 for a twin pack of .5 oz tubs; one tub lasts me quite a while. I bought a twin pack on May 23 (for $3.69!!! What is with the huge price increase?!) and gave one tub to my daughter. The first tub lasted me until yesterday.
  • Body Lotion: I wear body lotion daily, and apply it to my entire epidermis after my shower. I use Eucerin. My favorite Eucerin (Daily Hydration) has been out of stock at Target lately, so I had to buy the Roughness Relief last time ($12.99) and I hate it. It makes my skin feel sticky. Yuck. Next time, I will buy a three pack from Amazon for $35.97.  
  • Sunscreen: In the winter months, I use the Cetaphil with sunscreen and call it a day. In the summer, I use Neutrogena SheerZinc Dry Touch sunscreen, which is about $25 a bottle. I can usually get a bottle to last the whole summer.

Estimated Total Skincare Costs for 2023: $560.72

MAKEUP:

I don’t wear a lot of makeup. Most days I wear something, but only put on a lot of makeup for special occasions.

I love this mascara.

Near-Daily Makeup Routine

  • Mascara: I love me some mascara, and usually if I’m out of the house I’m wearing mascara. In May and then again in July, I bought a tube of Maybelline Falsies Lash Lift Volumizing and Lengthening Mascara for $9.99. (I have bought two other mascaras since then, but I bought them in-store and for some reason I don’t have a record of the purchase in my Target app.)
  • Eyebrow Filler: My natural hair color is light brown, but I color my hair dark brown. To me, my eyebrows look pale and ridiculous against my hair, so I darken them. I have my hair stylist dye my brows every time I get my hair colored (three or four times a year), but the brow color fades really quickly. So I use an eyebrow mascara for the rest of the year. My current eyebrow mascara is Revlon ColorStay Brow Fiber Filler Eyebrow Gel in Dark Brown. It cost me $10.99 the last time I bought it, which was in mid July of this year.
I don’t wear any sort of foundation. I’ve tried it before, and wore it to proms in high school and to my wedding, but that was enough.

Special Occasion Makeup Routine

  • Highlighter: I love my Tula rose glow cooling and brightening eye balm. It feels so good on my skin and I think it really helps deflect from my under eye bags. I got the stick I have in a FabFitFun box in early 2021, and I am still using it. Is this the best in terms of health hygiene? No. Do I care? Not particularly. I am getting near the end though, and will definitely buy it again. It costs about $38.00.
  • Eyeliner: I have been using Almay ink liquid eyeliner for years and years. Even though my Target app is pretending like I have never once purchased it, I certainly have. It costs around $7.49 a tube, but one tube lasts me a long while.
  • Blush: I use a Clinique Chubby Stick Cheek Color Balm to add a little color to my cheeks. Again, cover your eyes if you believe that skincare products have an expiration date, but I have had this so long I cannot remember when I got it. Also, I am 99% sure that I got it from my mother, who may or may not have gotten it as a free gift with purchase.
  • Eye Shadow: I am not good at applying any sort of “fancy” makeup, but once in a while I like a little shimmer on my eyelids. This Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Cream Shadow Stick in Soft Bronze is my favorite. I bought it last spring for around $33 and it’s still going strong.
  • Lip Gloss: I feel like a huge weirdo when I apply any sort of lip color, but sometimes it’s still nice. This Haus Laboratories lip gloss is my current go-to. I think it was around $25 when I bought it last spring and I don’t see it running out anytime soon.

Estimated Total Makeup Costs for 2023: $135.95

Except for the bar soap, everything on the left side is mine. Except for the Cetaphil, everything on the right side is my husband’s. I hate our shower so very much. See that tiny shelf up on the right? There’s an identical shelf on the opposite side of the shower and that’s it for storage. Also, there’s no place for me to rest my feet when I shave my legs, so I have to balance on one foot while shaving (or have water in my face the entire time).

HAIRCARE:

I have longish, thickish hair that greys easily. My biggest beauty expense every year is my hair, because I get it professionally cut and colored. (I tried coloring it myself during the height of the pandemic, but I hated it so much. It was awkward and I felt like my hair always came out with weird streaks because I didn’t apply the color correctly. I am HAPPY to pay a professional.)

  • Cut and Color: I get my hair cut and colored three to four times a year. With tip, this costs approximately $160.
  • Shampoo and Conditioner: I complained a few times to my hair stylist that the dye wasn’t taking to my hair very well, and she suggested that my cheap drugstore shampoo and conditioner were to blame. I bought a ridiculously expensive bottle of fancy shampoo from the salon and used that for awhile, but I just couldn’t stomach spending that amount on shampoo again. So I bought a twin pack of TRESemme Keratin Smooth Color Shampoo and Conditioner and have been using that for awhile. (Neither Target nor Amazon have a record that I made this purchase, but I think it was from Amazon sometime this past summer.) If I were to replace both bottles today, it would cost $20.99 on Amazon. I only wash my hair once or twice a week, so shampoo and conditioner last me a looooonnnnng time.
  • Styling Cream: After I wash my hair, I comb some Aveda Smooth Infusion through it. My hair is naturally wavy, but I straighten it 90% of the time, and this styling cream seems to help keep my hair smooth and frizz-free.  I don’t see my specific bottle available on my salon website, but I could by something similar (though only 5 oz instead of 8.5) for $37.
  • Hair Ties: Does this count? I am counting it; it’s an expense my husband doesn’t have, and one I repeat. I put my hair into a ponytail every time I shower, every time I exercise, every time I drive my kid to school without doing my hair. I prefer the Goody Ouchless Elastics. The last time I bought a package (of 37 hair ties) it cost me $4.99.

Estimated Total Haircare Costs for 2023: $744.96

MISCELLANEOUS

  • Fun Hand Soap: My husband uses the Up and Up brand of clear liquid hand soap, 99 cents per 7.5 oz bottle, $4.79 per 50-oz refill.) But I love having fun, nice-smelling hand soap in the bathroom. I love the Method French Lavender Gel Hand Soap and the UltaBeauty Foaming Hand Wash…but they are $3.99 and $7.00 respectively, so I only buy them when they go on sale. (Occasionally, Ulta will have a sale where each bottle is $2.50 or $3, which is reasonable unless I compare it to my husband’s 99 cent soap.) I have probably purchased three bottles of fancy soap this year.
  • Body Wash: I don’t like bar soap, so I use body wash to clean my body. I am not super picky about what I use – it just can’t be exfoliating because that clogs my pores. I usually go for whatever combination of decent-smelling and cheap that I can find. I’ve used Suave Essentials body wash, which is $3.19 per 18-oz bottle and am currently working my way through a bottle of St. Ives Eucalyptus/Tea Tree body wash, which was $3.99 for 22 ounces. I quite like this scent so I will stick with it as long as I can find it at Target. I probably buy a new bottle of body wash every six to eight weeks.
  • Razor: I shave my legs every single time I shower; I cannot stand the feel of stubbly legs, particularly when they are wet and stubbly. I shave my underarms every other time I shower and my bikini line whenever it needs to be tended. When I need new razors, I buy them from Costco at about $36.99 a pop. If they are on sale, all the better. I am terrible about changing the heads of my razors, so they last me a very long time. I did have to buy new ones this year, though.
  • Foot Lotion: I owe so many wonderful things in my life to Nicole, and the O’Keefe’s Healthy Feet Cream Exfoliating is one of them. This stuff is amazing. I use it once or twice a week. It costs about $8.96 for a 3-oz tube and I estimate I go through about three tubes a year. Once I accidentally bought the non-exfoliating foot cream and IT IS NOT THE SAME.
  • Hand Lotion: O’Keefe’s Working Hands Hand Cream, at $7.97 for 3 ounces, is my favorite hand cream of all time. It’s not greasy, it’s very nice and think, it’s soothing, and it helps keep my hands from cracking and bleeding all winter long. I have a tube of this in my nightstand drawer, a tube in my car, and a giant tube in the kitchen. It is magic. I go through probably eight tubes a year.
  • Nail Polish: I hardly ever get my finger- and toenails professionally painted, because it lasts such a short time. But I do like to paint my toes in the summer and occasionally I will paint my fingernails as well. Because I am very impatient, I prefer the quick-drying polishes – Sally Hansen Insta-Dri Nail Color ($5.98 on Amazon), and Essie Expressie  (around $8 or $9, depending on color). I probably buy between one and three bottles of nail polish a year.
  • Deodorant: I use deodorant every day and probably go through three sticks a year? I prefer Secret. I haven’t bought any deodorant at all this year because I bought a six pack last year… from Costco, maybe?

Estimated Total Miscellaneous Expenses for 2023: $189.90

PERFUME

I love wearing perfume. Especially now that I smell faintly of sulfur due to my medicated face wash, I wear perfume pretty frequently.

And if you think I keep my makeup for a long time, you have no idea. My bottles of Lucky and Dream perfume are from high school. That was in the 1990s, people. They still smell good! The Allure, I got in college, and my bottles of Truth and Blue are from the early aughts. My newest perfume is the Tiffany Sheer, which I love. I got it for Christmas in 2019 and it’s nearly gone, so I’m on the hunt for a new scent.

One of the women I volunteer with smells amazing and I would LOVE to know what perfume she wears (so I can buy it for myself). But I don’t know her that well. Would it be super weird to ask her the name of her perfume?

Total Perfume Expenses for 2023: $0

This weight looks so weird in my hand. I promise it’s symmetical.

FITNESS

While I do strength training approximately three to four times a week, I follow free videos on YouTube. (My favorite workouts are from Lindsey Bomgren of Nourish Move Love and Tracy Steen of Move Daily Fitness.) Sometimes I think about paying for a membership for Nourish Move Love, but I haven’t pulled the trigger yet. In years past, I really enjoyed barre classes, but I haven’t felt moved to go back.

This year, my fitness purchases have included hand weights ($34.99 for a pair of 20s, and $25.99 for a pair of 15s) and a yoga mat ($21.98). (Also, I got a giant yoga mat for Christmas! Woo!) In previous years, I’ve spent money on grippy socks, fingerless yoga gloves, and headbands.

Estimated Total Fitness Costs for 2023: $82.96

Estimated Total Overall Beauty Products for 2023: $1714.49

(Looked at another way, this is $142.87 per month. I don’t know which way makes me feel worse.)

Okay, this total is honestly a bit lower than I anticipated. HOWEVER, it doesn’t include my dermatology appointments, although it probably should. It doesn’t include things I do for my overall health, like doctor’s appointments or acupuncture or mental health care, which seems pretty closely related (especially if I loop all these things into one “personal care” category). It doesn’t include any dental expenses or eyecare expenses (I wear contacts), although maybe it should. It doesn’t include any sort of clothing, even though pretty much all clothing falls under the umbrella of “beauty.” Even if I stick to more rigid categories, I buy leggings and shirts and sports bras and shoes JUST for the purposes of Fitness but I didn’t count any of that. Plus, I’m sure there are a few one-off things that I have forgotten about or missed, so the total is probably closer to $2,000 in overall “beauty” expenses. And that’s still probably a conservative estimate.

That total probably fluctuates year over year, too – I mean, I won’t be buying the same hand weights again next year, and hopefully I’m all set for yoga mats. I am betting I can make the razors last for at least a year. But maybe my hair dryer will short out and I’ll need to replace it, or I’ll decide to get all new hairbrushes next year or something.

All that said, I really don’t think I’m a particularly big spender when it comes to personal care stuff. Maybe with the exception of my cut and color (which I am not giving up, no way, no how), it feels pretty reasonable. And I think YOUR expenses are reasonable too. We have bodies, and we need to do things to take care of those bodies, to preserve them for the future, to make them feel good.

What is your most expensive body care category? What perfume do you wear? Do you prefer bar soap or body wash? What’s the last beauty splurge you made and would you do it again?

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Party Like It’s 2020

Well, all my carefully calibrated Thanksgiving plans have evaporated – poof! Everyone is fine and feeling well so far, but I think we all understand that when an uninvited guest like Covid shows up to the party, most people will opt out of the festivities. 

This is life. Things happen. We are so lucky that it was a mild case of Covid and not something so much worse or more devastating. So very lucky. 

Nonetheless, I’m feeling…

  • Disappointed. It’s always nice to see family, especially when it’s been a while. (That came out snarkier than I intended, but I’m leaving it because it’s true.) I haven’t seen my niece in far too long, and I wanted to squeeze her and marvel at how much taller and more brilliant she’s become since I last saw her. And I had managed to orchestrate the exact houseguest experience that I preferred: everyone in my house, while we were ALL on a break, for a fixed and doable amount of time. None of those things is happening now. Carla is bereft. She was SO excited to see her cousin. And now: nothing.
  • Cranky. Now my least favorite type of houseguest experience is going to happen. My MIL has a doctor’s appointment the week after Thanksgiving, and instead of staying in a hotel as planned (after staying with us for Thanksgiving for six days), she and my FIL will now be staying at our house. Which is fine in the sense that we DO want to see them both, and spend time with them. But is less fine in the sense that now they will be staying at our house when Carla is in school and my husband is at work and I have all the normal challenges of keeping our workweek schedule running smoothly on top of hosting houseguests. (Who wants to throw me your best Using Up Thanksgiving Leftovers recipes I can try out on my in-laws next week please?)
  • Relieved. All of the pressure of hosting has been postponed by a week. 
  • Deflated. The most prevalent feeling is one of deflation – of all that anxiety and energy being stored up for weeks of planning and then having none of the fanfare of the fun part of hosting: showing people around the house, gathering for a big meal, playing games as a family. Add to that the fact that I have to gear myself up again, a week from now, to host – when I haven’t planned for THAT at all… and I’m reeling a little. 

I am hopeful that Whole Foods will allow us to dramatically downsize our turkey. I am hopeful that they will allow me to not bring home the two enormous veggie sides I already paid for, and that they will refund me. (And, if that’s not possible, I plan to make some Szechuan green beans out of the leftovers.) I am grateful that my little family of three will have time to ourselves. I am grateful it wasn’t something more serious that’s keeping us apart, and that there will be (God willing) opportunities to get together again. 

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Monday Randomosity: Internet Advice and Thought-Dogs Edition

It is rainy, I am grumpy. I don’t feel like making a list of things to make for dinner. My brain, these past few days, has been like one of those dog walkers you sometimes see in big cities, you know – the ones that can walk like six or ten dogs at once? Except my brain is not doing well with the dog walking, and all the thought-dogs are, like, chasing after squirrels, or biting each other, or wagging their tails hopefully at people trying to pass, or lying down because they Just Can’t anymore, or winding their leashes around their own legs until they are all tangled up, or sniffing at trees, or peeing on things. What I’m trying to say is, there’s a lot of chaos and distraction, thought-wise. And, yes, the thought equivalent of excrement. 

So let’s try to untangle some leashes and return some of these overwrought metaphors to their owners, shall we?

  • Overwhelmed: Your advice blew me away the other day. I read each comment on my post intently and took notes and felt, with every comment, so incredibly grateful for you for taking the time to address my silly non-problems. Oh, how I would love to have a girls’ weekend with YOU. We could extend it by a few or ten days so we could fit in ALL the amazing things you suggested. I was so overwhelmed by everyone’s kindness and thoroughness and wonderful ideas that I wasn’t even sure how to respond. THANK YOU. I am so lucky. 
  • Girls’ Trip Update Already: Using as much of your advice as possible, I put together a list of five suggestions for the girls’ trip and sent them to one of the stakeholders of the girls’ trip. She vetoed them all. So. I am kind of thinking maybe it is now her girls’ trip to plan????
  • Disappearing Emails: I keep writing and sending emails… and they disappear. This happened a couple of times specifically to emails I wrote to my father in the middle of the night. (When you wake up at 3:30 am, you write emails to your parents too, right?) But because of the timing, I sort of dismissed the disappearances – maybe I dreamed the emails??? But I sent an email yesterday that I was very much awake for, and it just… disappeared. Not in a draft anywhere. Not in an outbox. Not in a sent folder. Very odd. It’s not like it was even an objectionable email – like, I could see (see, but not approve of) my email becoming sentient and deciding, no, you don’t want to say that. I’m going to quietly step in and stop you from sending something inadvisable. But this was a NOTHING email. A fact email. There wasn’t even any issue with TONE. 
  • Listen, Hug, Advise: I saw this advice floating around Instagram as a parenting technique. Instead of jumping in to help your kid, you ask, “Do you want me to listen? Do you need a hug? Or do you need help?” Great advice, and something I have tried to incorporate into my interactions with Carla. But it wasn’t until a friend applied it to me that I realized this has applications for adults as well. I told her that sometimes I worry that I treat her like a therapist, and it makes me feel guilty – and she said that maybe I felt that way because she sometimes leans toward giving advice. She said that she understands that sometimes a friend just needs to vent, and said she described the “listen, hug, advise” technique to me and said she would appreciate and welcome it if I said I needed one or the other specifically. (She is a very lovely person.) I found this to be such a useful reframing. This is not just a technique for children! Even though I want simply to vent or be comforted 90% of the time, I still tend to jump in with advice when other people share their own problems with me. So I am going to try to do more asking of what people need, rather than assuming they need my non-existent expertise.
  • Skin Drama: I have complained bitterly about my skin here before. Earlier this year, I was diagnosed with a type of rosacea that causes pustules and red, swollen bumps. I have been treating this with prescription cream. Last week, my face positively ERUPTED and I am miserable. MISERABLE. The blemishes are painful and/or itchy, but also they make me incredibly self-conscious. I mean, I have a fairly prominent facial scar that I carry around with me every day, so I’m somewhat used to stares anyway, but this is SO MUCH WORSE. I look like I have the pox. I was very lucky to have very few skin issues when I was a teen, and this makes me feel so full of empathy and outrage for teenagers. At least I, an adult, can use coping thoughts like, “everyone deals with this” and “most people don’t notice, or if they do notice it is in the same passing way they notice your hair color or whether you have jam on your shirt” and “this is temporary”! At least I can be relatively certain that my peers won’t tease me or call out my appearance or give me awful nicknames! How is this an affliction that young people deal with on the regular?! I am having to FORCE myself to go out in public. I had An Event to attend a few days ago, and I did not want to go. But obviously did, because I had made a commitment and because I want to be a good role model for Carla. (It was fine. I wore cute clothes, did my hair, wore glasses to hopefully distract from the state of my face, and put some coverup on the worst blemishes even though I was afraid that it would make them worse.) I have also put in a call to my dermatologist to say WHAT IS HAPPENING and I am hopeful he will have some suggestions. This is mainly a “just venting” post, because everyone’s skin is different and because at this point I will probably only do what my dermatologist suggests, but of course if you also have papulopustular rosacea I would love to hear what has worked for you, and I would love to hear any thoughts about Going In Public When You Don’t Want To.
  • Aging Disparity: Clearly, this skin thing is a result of my advancing age; it is apparently a Known Thing that can develop during perimenopause. It’s just the latest example of my forties not going great, health wise. I mean, I am very blessed with overall good health. I do recognize that. But the plantar fasciitis and the skin thing and a couple of other small things I have yet to check out so therefore don’t know if they are just Regular Things For People Of This Age Group or Things We Should Treat make me kind of disgusted with this decade already. Then there’s my husband, who is six months my senior. He is having NONE of these issues! He is getting better and more appealing by the day. His patients compliment his hair. He has been trying to lose a little weight, and it seems to just fall off. He has been biking a lot and his calves are, well, they are beautiful. He has always had nice legs, but I didn’t even know I found calves attractive until he toned and chiseled them with all this biking. Ahem. Apologies for the tawdry turn. He does have a few more white beard hairs, but of course they just make him look distinguished or maybe a little less like he just graduated from medical school. His feet never hurt. He never has trouble sleeping. His face is handsome and clear. Even the gradual deepening of those little parallel lines between his eyebrows makes him look thoughtful and concerned rather than wrinkled. I am glad he is healthy and thriving (and attractive), don’t get me wrong. But IT IS DEEPLY UNFAIR.
  • Pity Party, Over. 
  • Dinners This Week: I suppose I really should think about what to make for dinner. Even if I really, really don’t want to. This sheet-pan miso honey chicken with asparagus sounds pretty good. I can work up some enthusiasm for this lemony cucumber couscous salad – maybe with some grilled shrimp? How about some chipotle pork chops with some sort of vegetable – broccoli, maybe?
  • Romance Novel: Recently, on the recommendation of Nicole, I read this book… which I LOVED… and immediately decided I want to write a romance novel. Even though I am not even a regular reader of romance novels, which seems like it would be a huge disadvantage when it comes to writing one. Even though I am 83K words into my thriller that I vowed to FINISH instead of getting distracted with a new project. So I have this whole idea for the romance novel sketched out – but the love interest hasn’t quite taken shape for me yet. There is definitely a very hot and intimidatingly smart veterinarian in town that he used to date, but why did they break up? Why is he still single? What is his Big Flaw? What is holding him back from being with our heroine? Also, I kind of need him to be independently wealthy; I’m not sure HOW it came to be that he doesn’t have to work, but it would be nice if it had something to do with why he resists falling in love with the protagonist. She is a widow, but ready to move on; maybe he also lost someone and is NOT ready to move on? But then… how does the main character bring him around? Hmmm. This is the fun part of writing. The thinking part. The part where the story unfolds nearly flawlessly in your head. The part where you have to WRITE IT DOWN is less fun, unfortunately.

Okay, I tried very hard to come up with a tenth bullet, but I don’t have it in me. We’ll all have to deal with only nine. Fortunately, nine is one of Carla’s favorite numbers, so I think she’d say that this was an ideal situation rather than a failure of imagination. 

What’s new with you today, this first day of May?