I woke up crying this morning, the dream I’d been immersed in was so awful. It involved my husband being horrible to me, which is not in any way true to life, and yet which felt so incredibly real in the dream I am carrying it with me into the day. Stupid dreams and their stupid tendency to hang like a fog of despair around my head.rea Let’s try some Randomosity to see if we can shake the bad feelings loose.
- For me, bad dreams come from stress, I think; I am stressed about the upcoming volunteer event I am chairing. Back when I worked full time, I had stress dreams much more frequently. And the stress took really horrific and violent forms in the dreams – car chases, people running after me, gun violence, driving off high bridges, gruesome death. My brain is a super fun place. So I suppose it’s an improvement, that now my dreams have turned toward making me feel like my husband no longer loves me? I don’t know. Neither type of dream is enjoyable, and they always stick with me. I feel shaky and sullen and hurt. I’m sure my husband wondered why I was being kind of cold to him this morning. I know it’s a dream, and yet it was so REAL, I cannot help but feel a little unkindly toward Waking World Husband.
- Perhaps even worse – or, at least, terrible in their own way – are dreams that involve casual acquaintances. Especially when they are of an erotic nature. There is nothing more embarrassing than seeing a coworker/friend’s spouse/boss/teacher in person after they have graced your dreams.
- Why must our brains DO this to us?! I have read some theories that dreams are our brains trying to make sense of the day. But why must they do so in the way that they do? Why can’t they translate stresses and worries and encounters into soothing images that float in gentle rhythm to the calming sounds of babbling brooks and soft harp music?
- Speaking of music and dreams, I have “Only in Dreams” by Weezer stuck in my head. There are far worse songs to have stuck in one’s head. I love that song, and the entire album from which it comes. Probably one of my favorite albums of all time, the Blue Album.
- My husband was playing Weezer songs this weekend. I was sitting on the couch, reading an Agatha Christie novel on my Kindle, and he was sitting next to me, idly scrolling through Weezer songs on his phone and picking them out on his guitar. It was quite pleasant, that gentle serenade of some of my favorite songs.
- When I was growing up, and learning how to play the piano, I was very skeptical when my mother said she liked listening to me practice. But now that my husband is teaching himself guitar, and Carla is learning both guitar and clarinet, I have discovered that she wasn’t lying. Even when they make mistakes, even when they play certain measures over and over to get them right, I really enjoy the sound of the two of them practicing. I thought I would HATE the squawk of a poorly played clarinet, but there is much less squawking than I anticipated, and it has a really pleasant sound. Especially, perhaps, when Carla is practicing upstairs and the products of her work are floating down to me through a closed door and a stairwell.
- Stephany posted a link to an Ask Me Anything form the other day, and so I blatantly copied it. If you have any burning questions for me, fill out the form and I would love to try to answer them.
- Copying Stephany’s idea was not only a chance to engage in a little light plagiarism, but also an opportunity for me to learn a new skill. I had no idea you could use Google to create forms! Best of all, it was very easy (that is, unless you are unable to USE the form, in which case I am a hopeless Luddite). I think I forget that it’s often fun, if a little scary, to try new things.
- The desire to keep myself sharp and engaged by trying new things is part of the reason that I volunteered for this event in the first place. This is my second time doing it, and it will be my last. The juice, as they say, isn’t worth the squeeze. The squeeze being the stress and the resulting bad dreams.
- Sometimes I contemplate volunteering elsewhere. My paying work is fairly minimal and easy to manage, so I feel as though I could devote more regular time to a volunteer position. But it is so hard to find The Right Thing. Probably what it is, is that I’m scared. Do you volunteer for anything, or have you volunteered for anything in the past? I would love to know about your experiences.
- It’s only the second day of November, but I feel like I’m already putting in a covert effort to be part of NaBloPoMo (see San’s post if you want to learn more or join). I have every expectation of failing spectacularly; November just isn’t my month. But it’s fun to read everyone’s posts and to try, even a little, to join in.
- NGS is doing NaBloPoMo, but she is also doing a daily noun challenge with her good friend, and I think that’s so fun. I can’t wait to see how she addresses each noun on her list. I imagine that if I run into a post block this month, I may sneak on over to her blog to find that day’s noun and join in.
- How do you decide when and what to post? Some of the bloggers I read have an editorial calendar. Some seem to post regular features. I have always been what they refer to in the writing world as a “pantser.” I just… write. Posts either occur to me, or I have a compulsion to sit down and blather a bunch of nonsense into the ether, or I am curious to discuss a certain topic. But there’s really no rhyme or reason about anything I write. I write to write. To get things off my chest. To distract myself from stress. I suppose the only “regular” feature is my weekly (sometimes) Dinners This Week post, but even that falls off a cliff now and again.
Well, today writing has done the trick. The dream sadness has lifted. The sun is shining, the world is covered with a layer of leaves, and I have work to do. I hope you have a wonderful day, Internet. Thank you for reading, and in doing so, dispelling the stress.
I am 100% a “pantser”- a term I had not heard before, but am now also using to reference to myself. haha. I actually feel pretty “anti-posting schedule” (for me!). I am like you in that I have to feel in the mood to write about a certain topic. Sometimes I am just sharing stuff we did. Sometimes something is bugging me and I want to write about it. Sometimes there is a seasonal aspect I want to cover at a certain time. I feel pretty strongly that having to stick to some sort of schedule/ writing about certain things on certain days would suck a lot of the joy out of blogging for me. And not that I think my blog is so great or anything, but I LIKE the fact that my blog is pretty random. I try to tie the gratitude/positivity theme in wherever I can, because that’s an important area to me that I’m trying to continue growing in. But otherwise, I think the randomness of it feels most authentic to me. I think I’m kind of an all over the place type person. Like, an organized, disorganized person. lol! I have a lot going on, my brain feels pretty scattered many days, I think about and do a lot of different things…. it only seems fitting that my blog would be a bit of a messy hodge podge, too. 🙂
Oh, I hate dreams like that! So annoying that the brain works things out that way. I’m glad writing helped you out of the cloud this morning.
I’m very much a pantser in my blog. I think once I did manage to write every day in November? Maybe, long ago? Whatever, I refuse to put pressure on myself this year. But I too am enjoying the extra bloggyness of my Feedly so far in the month.
My mother tried volunteering at a few different places before finding one where she really clicked with the work and the people. I would say don’t give up, but if you’re not feeling it right now to look for something else, give yourself a break. You’ve had a lot this fall!
I have a very consistent dream that I guy I rode the bus with in high school and have not seen since then is coaching me as I ride a horse in some fancypants equestrian event. I have no idea why this dream happens so often or why that guy stars in the dream. It’s all clicks and buzzes and electrical impulses in our dreams.
I volunteer on the board of our local community center and it seriously hurts my stomach most days. It’s so stressful and I have to figure out a way to resign from the board in the next year. I can’t deal with it anymore. Do not recommend.
So much to saaaayyyyy!!! First: I used to have stress dreams about spreadsheets; this was when I worked on a trade floor and I would dream that everything I coded didn’t work, and the company failed because of it (I worked for a large multinational so obviously there was no way for this to happen BUT WHAT IF IT DID). I often, now, dream about folding laundry, which seems really pathetic.
I love listening to my son drum! When he got the drums, everyone was like “Oh no, you poor thing” and people, it has been nothing but wonderful. It makes me so happy. My older son is back on his guitar after a couple year hiatus and I love that too. *smoooookkke on the waaaaterrrrr…fire in the skyyyyyy*
I used to volunteer all the time and just stopped when the kids were in junior high. I used to run the Scholastic Book Fair twice a year and that was quite the undertaking. I also chaired the Parent Association/ School Council! I think I burned myself out though, since I haven’t volunteered since J started grade 7, and he graduates this year.
I thought about doing NaBloPoMo but decided against it. I’m looking forward to reading other posts though!
Since the pandemic I write once a week plus maybe another once or twice a month – favourite things or occasionally something else – and I mostly just write what came to mind that week. Sometimes, like the recent one about my bootyliciousness, I will think about for months, but won’t feel brave enough to write. I have a few posts like that and at some point I’ll write them, but I definitely write by “feel.”
I don’t want to play favourites, BUT YOU’RE ONE OF MY FAVOURITES! Like you don’t know that! But that means I am very much looking forward to many Suzanne posts this month (I HOPE!!!) xoxoxo
We’d LOOOOVE to have you for NaBloPoMo, Suzanne, and honestly – even without an editorial calendar – you seem to always come up with so much to share, you’d have no problem completing NaBloPoMo… (I probably would have made three posts out of this one, so you can definitely stretch your content LOL).
Also Google forms are the bomb! I love how Stephany – and you now! – use(s) it for the AMA questions.
Dreams, oh man, don’t get me started… why do they have to be so weird and random, and frankly, often times completely detached from ANY reality??!!!
I blog like you do, randomly and when I feel like it. Although with typepad misbehaving, it’s been hit and miss. Those dreams are weird; I’ve felt angry at someone over something imaginary from a dream. The dream fades but the feelings stay.
I’m glad writing it all down relieved the dream stress! I know exactly what you mean about seeing someone in real life from your dream the night before- it’s very odd. They of course have no idea why you’re embarrassed/sad/angry over whatever they did to you, ha ha.
Birchie from Birchwood Pie has announced that she’s a NaBloPoMo “Bandit”, i.e. she’s jumping in without officially registering and will do what she can. You can be a bandit too- just see what happens. No pressure, and it will be fun!
I have had stress dreams, but back when I was a lifeguard. I would semi-wake up during the night, hallucinate that people were swimming laps, and try to watch them before saying, “It’s the middle of the night, they shouldn’t be swimming!” and going back to (deeper) sleep. So weird.
I have also dreamt of computer screens if I’ve been working on a big project or, more honestly, played a game too much. Remember that cat game app where a player would build little cat paradises and wait for cats to show? No? Me neither but the power of Google says…shoot, I can’t find it. Does anyone remember?
The timing on this post is uncanny; I woke up yesterday morning from a HORRIBLE dream. It was just SO real and it took me at least an hour to shake it off.
I remember years ago having this very vivid dream that one of my siblings died and I actually woke up believing the dream was true. It was like 2 pm before I realized it was a dream. True story!
I love all your posts, Suzanne and can’t wait to see what you post this month and beyond 🙂
It hasn’t happened in quite some time, but I have had bad dreams about my husband and then would wake up cranky and tell him about it and he would scoff at me being mad at him for something he did in a dream. Brains are weird. But there was one night where we both had weird dreams about each other and both woke up kind of pissy about it. So he could see what I had experienced before.
I do a mix of scheduled post and posts written the day of. I try to post 2-3 times/week, but probably average about 2.
As far as volunteering, I am not doing any of that right now because I feel way too overwhelmed by life. It seems like you have so much going on with Carla’s activities/being the primary parent/hosting tons of people. I would view all the hosting you are doing as volunteering honestly. But hosting exhausts me, even when it’s family! And I barely do it! I do want to do some volunteering in the future when our kids are older, but then the activity craziness will start up. Things I’ve considered are trying to get on the board for our county library or volunteering through a finance society I’m part of as they are starting a program to improve financial literacy, especially in among lower socioeconomic populations. I think both of those rolls would be really rewarding but now is not the time for adding to my already full plate!
I always try to do NaBlo and schedule posts for days I know I am going to be busy, but I try to just write nonsense most days
Dreams…I rarely remember them but this post just reminded me that I dreamt The Husband asked me for a divorce about a month ago. I was devastated the next morning; even though I KNEW it was a dream. (Huh, look at that – I could have probably turned that into a whole post, but never did – shows you just how scrambled my blogging brain is)
As you know, my blog is the most random blog in the land; both in terms of content and posting. Occasionally, I will try to sketch out ideas for posts but, nine times out of ten, when I go back to look at the ideas, I have no idea what I was trying to capture. Not to mention, work life has been overwhelming of late. Which means I’m behind in blogging, blog reading and housework.
As for volunteering…some are cut out for it and some aren’t. Those that aren’t; but believe in the cause can donate where they can in the form of cash or a service that doesn’t put them out of their comfort zone. I once volunteered to do a few book reviews in a local newsletter – win for me and them. I got to read the books they offered and share my opinion of the books and – bonus – didn’t have to step out of my comfort zone.
I used to work for a baseball cap manufacturer and I had some very upsetting, stress-related dreams from that. The lengths I had to go to to get people their custom hat orders on time. I’m looking at you Disney.
I guess I mostly write about things as they happen, but there is a backlog. There is a lot happening in the Shenanigan land and I sometimes wish I had time, or reader-interest to write daily. I get upset if I realize I’ve forgotten to share something. Why? Not like you will all feel uninformed if you don’t get the deets about my life. For example, today I remembered a funny thing that happened when we went to visit Tank on Sept 16th that I haven’t shared yet.
I volunteered back when the kids were in Catholic school. I got burned out though. I did TOO much. It was bananas. In addition to being on school board and running a mom and tot group and doing the school’s marketing efforts, I started a parish wide garage sale and hosted it in the school building in the summer. It was a fundrasier and it was very successful. So.much.work. Curly was a toddler and my kids lived in the school building for two weeks with me as I organized the volunteers and sorted the donations. We have a food pantry at our parish (different parish) and it has a food pantry. If I had time, I’d probably volunteer there. Seems very necessary and worthwhile.
Argh…I hate dreams that make me feel bad. What an awful way to start the day, right??? I can totally relate. I’m glad the lingering feelings from your dream went away.
YAY! You figured out the Google form. I will submit some questions. 🙂 I put them together all the time for work, so I’m used to using them, but I can see how they can be intimidating to use them at first!
My mom and I have a running joke for whenever we have a bad dream about the other person. We’ll call each other and tell them, “I’ll accept my apology now.” And it’s like “Did you have a bad dream about me?” We find it humorous. But I tend to remember my dreams really well. Speaking of “sexy” dreams, I once had a dream about a male coworker whose pants would just FALL DOWN every time I saw him. The next time I saw him in the office, I was so embarrassed! Hahaha.
I have a very detailed post brewing about my blogging editorial schedule. I have a few “open” days in November, so I may devote one of those days to talking about it, since you asked it on my AMA form! I don’t do anything by the seat of my pants, sigh. I’m such a planner!
Holy Hannah, you have vivid dreams and you REMEMBER THEM. I rarely if ever remember mine and then only because I’m unbelievably embarrassed by them. I’m sorry you’re having them, though. I’m glad the interwebs helped, a bit.
I am totally like you on posting – post when I can, for the most part. Recently that’s been in the category of “rare to never event”. Sigh. I miss writing.