We have reached the point in summer where I have no idea what day it is, or what time it is. It’s hot, that’s what time it is. I’m vaguely aware that fall is approaching at breakneck speed, and I’m just planning to ignore it until we collide with the first day of school.
Speaking of things I’m ignoring, instead of trying to come up with Dinners This Week (I am making this tonight and that’s the only thing I have planned), I thought I’d discuss my husband’s meal plans. For the past few weeks, he has been talking about Meals He’ll Eat While We’re Away; Carla and I go to visit my parents for a week or so in their summer home most summers, and my husband usually stays home to work. One of the best parts about staying behind is that he gets to make whatever he wants for dinner. He and I have a decently wide overlap of things we both enjoy eating, and he is also amenable to eating pretty much anything, even if it’s not his favorite. But there is a swath of foods he loves that I dislike – borscht comes to mind – and our annual girls’ trip is his opportunity to eat everything he misses out on the rest of the year. He likes to make things like stuffed pepper casserole and green chili, and he’s mentioned wanting to try Spam while we’re gone this time.
I’m trying to think back to what I like to cook for myself when my husband isn’t around. Fortunately, he hasn’t done any traveling without me/us in a long while. I think I used to like making salmon with magic sauce when he was gone, because he doesn’t like the smell of the sauce (nor does he like salmon). Beyond that, I can’t really remember. As the primary meal planner and cook in our household, I already get to eat what I want every day. Maybe if he and Carla weren’t around, I would make a big batch of fire fry, extra spicy because I wouldn’t have to share it. And I wouldn’t have to put any meat in it! That’s probably the biggest difference in what my meals would look like without my husband: I wouldn’t feel compelled to add meat to everything.
If you normally live with other people, how often are you truly ALONE in your home? I have the luxury of being by myself most school days, but my husband is almost never alone. Maybe once in a while I will take Carla to a school event or an activity or something that my husband won’t or is unable to attend, but that’s only a few hours at a time. More typically, we spend the evenings and weekends together, all three of us. Which means that when we’re in the house, we’re ALL in the house. I think my husband relishes occasional days where he doesn’t have to deal with either one of us. I mean, he loves us, of course. But sometimes you just NEED SOME SPACE.
Do you remember the phrase “Secret Single Behavior” from the earlier days of blogging? Am I making that up? I seem to recall people posting about how they would wear pajamas all day and eat cookie dough and popcorn for dinner and binge-watch Hallmark movies while their significant other was out of town. Stuff that you’d never do with a roommate around.
Since I get a lot of time on my own, I think my Secret Single Behavior is limited to, like, eating food in my office (food is allowed Only In The Kitchen in my house) or watching Frasier reruns in my bathrobe or reading an entire book in one sitting. Oh, I know something I like to do completely by myself: I like to go to garden centers and wander around, looking at their overpriced and delightful merchandise (dish towels and s’mores kits and outdoor pillows and pretty planters) and all the plants I’d love to grow. That is not something Carla or my husband would have patience for.
My husband will probably play video games and play guitar, which he gets to do far too infrequently when his attention is being demanded by his child and wife. Oh, and I think he likes to watch shows I refuse to watch with him, like Black Mirror.
What would your “Secret Single Behavior” be? Would you let the dishes pile up for days? Would you wear your pajamas nonstop? Let the dog sleep in the bed with you? Invite the gang over for poker? Subsist entirely on pretzels and cheese dip? Crank up the soundtrack to Dirty Dancing and belt out every song at the top of your lungs? (I used to do that last one when I was a teenager. It’s a really great soundtrack.)
When I’m alone in the house, it’s usually when I am working. Phil isn’t alone in the house all that much either, but he’ll get the house to himself for 3 days in August when the boys are at my parents and I am traveling for work.
If I was alone in the house and not working, I’d read and watch shows that my husband has no interest in, like “Four Seasons” (we watched the first episodes and he hated it!). I would eat something with mushrooms since that’s a food Phil won’t eat. Besides that there isn’t much I would do differently re: food!
Yes! Home alone is the best time to watch shows your significant other has no interest in.
I AM CURRENTLY HOME ALONE!!! It has been a very, very long time since this has happened. I…think maybe 2019? Oh wait, when we moved I got here on a Tuesday and the guys came on a Thursday, but I do not think that counts as I was having a nervous breakdown.
But here is what I’m doing: Greek salad and hummus for at least half the nights, something tomato and chickpea based for the others, watching British period dramas (last night the first half of Sense and Sensibility, also on the docket are The Other Boleyn Girl and The Duchess), and enjoying being able to read uninterrupted. I’m also going to try to organize my photos which I have been meaning to do for like two years.
Wheeeee!
“I do not think that counts as I was having a nervous breakdown” — LOL sob. I understand so completely.
You are doing your home alone time perfectly, Nicole!
I get occasional time to myself in my house but it’s rare. I would also read a book in one setting. As for food I would make one pot meals like soup or salad that I rarely make for my family. With the family I make meals where each person can eat the components they like such as a taco bowl.
Yesssss one pot meals that the rest of the family won’t eat! I love soup, but my husband doesn’t consider soup a full meal, so I would definitely consider a big pot of, like, chicken tortilla soup or butternut squash soup that I could eat the whole time he was gone!
I would wear my pajamas all day long, read 5 books at once leaving each book in a different room for when I was in the mood to be in that room, and drink endless pots of tea not worrying about too much caffeine because I’d be staying up most of the night reading. And peeing, obviously. 😁
Hahaha – I love this, Ally! Oh yes, the peeing. I am in love with the idea of a separate book for each room!
It took me a good moment to process ‘secret single behaviour’ as, like, what you would do when you’re single for a few days (right?) rather than ‘single secret behaviour’, like one bad thing that you do that no one knows about (I don’t even know where I was going with that – smoking? serial killing?). I don’t think I was blogging early enough to see that phrase.
At this point in my life I am fake single almost as much as I’m not in my house. And I don’t think there’s a whole lot that I do differently when my husband is away, other than watch scary movies, because he doesn’t like them, but then I realize I have watched a scary movie and now I have to go to bed alone in my big scary empty (hopefully) house.
I think when Eve and I are gone my husband mostly works late and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t cook much, if at all.
Hahaha — now I need to know everyone’s single secret behavior! How many serial killers among us, do you think??? Awww, your husband works late when you and Eve are gone? He must really hate being without you! Or I suppose he really loves work. Or both.
I can answer this based on my Boy Scout Widow career. Some nights I cook whatever my heart desires, even if it’s a more complicated dish. Or I’ll grab something out of the freezer or just eat snacks and that’s dinner. I’m free to do whatever I want!!! I’m also free to take a few minutes to wash dishes and clean the kitchen counters and everything stays clean without further intervention on my part so it’s like I get HOURS back in my day. I watch whatever trash on TV that I want to, and let’s be honest I do.
From what I’ve been told, it seems like Hubs and the boys turn to pantry staples while I’m away. Then they play video games and watch Marvel movies until I come home. The house usually gets a deep clean the day before I come home, and what it looked like from the time that I left until the time I got home is none of my business.
There was a Spam incident once on a night when Hubs and the boys made dinner. I had forgotten what spam smells like out of the can and I hope I never smell it again in my life. All of which is to say that I hope that your husband and Lenny enjoy their bachelor time while you’re away – and I guarantee that after about two nights they will be counting down the hours until you come home.
Everything staying CLEAN for DAYS is the BEST!!!! I love your philosophy about the how the house looks while you’re gone is none of your business. I agree wholeheartedly!
Your Spam experience further entrenches me in my anti-Spam position.
I’ve been single for 12 years; I’ve had a boyfriend for 7 although we don’t live together. So, I already live the Single Life, no secrets about it. LOL When John is here, I usually eat breakfast which for me alone would be more like brunch. He likes meat way more than I do; I rarely eat red meat and usually when I’m with him. I buy expensive ice cream whereas he gets whatever is on sale, inferior stuff but I don’t say that to him. He considers me extravagant whereas I think he can be too cheap. Some budget items are fine but certainly not ice cream. In my opinion.
Ice cream should not be a budget item! I agree!!
What a fun topic.
I am home alone during the days fairly frequently when the kids are in school, but I mostly just do the same things I do when they’re home. Work, cook, clean.
My husband is RARELY home alone. I live for being alone, but he actually doesn’t like being home alone! He’d rather be with my or the kids doing something. It has been 8ish years since he’s been home alone overnight. But, he travels all the time for work so spends a lot of time in hotel rooms solo.
I guess all that traveling for work would pretty rapidly fill a person’s Alone Time cup, wouldn’t it? I still think I would want to be alone in my home, though. Being alone at home is a whole different beast than being alone in a hotel. But I love that John prefers to be with you and the kids!
I love being alone in the house! LOVE IT! When it’s not summer, I get that opportunity every Wednesday, because I don’t work that day. Come to think of it, it’s feeling awfully crowded around here… there will be benefits to school starting.
Every once in a while I have an extended time alone, like if my daughter and husband have something that extends into Wednesday night, and I love those times. When I’m not on this stupid-ass diet, my favorite thing to do is get a Subway sandwich and Coke Zero for dinner, and watch something mindless on TV like Pioneer Woman while I eat. And I love uninterrupted reading time!
I love that you get a pretty regular time alone! I bet you count on that time to yourself. I know I’ve been a little antsy this summer, for sure!
Your extended single time sounds so relaxing, and I like that you have a special meal to enjoy!
I’ve been thinking about food for a different configuration of people, just me and Noah, because North will be a counselor at a sleep away camp for a week in August and Beth will be on a business trip the same week. Normally, I agonize over what to cook for dinner but with just half the number of people I knew at once what I will make (almond flour pancakes with blueberries– or maybe blackberries– ravioli with pesto, tofu-veggie stir-fry with peanut sauce, and spinach quesadillas).
I have worked from home since before covid, so I used to be home alone all the time and it was one of the hardest things to get used to when everyone was home, though I eventually did. Beth’s office is still hybrid, mostly from home, and Noah lives here so even when North’s at school, I am very rarely in the house alone.
That menu sounds delicious! You and Noah will be eating well!
Oh my goodness, I have worked from home for years and it is always so uncomfortable to have other people in MY space. Even if it is also their space, lol. I’m glad that you have adjusted, but I bet it was a struggle at first.
This is a fun thing to ponder. When Coach is away, which is rare – I linger longer at social events. He’s the one to give the nod towards the car when we are someplace/anyplace. If he was out of town when the kids were really young, I let them stay up way too late. They were always my buddies and we’d watch movies and eat ice cream. I cringe to think of what I ate when I was single. I used to buy these chicken patties – breaded (pre celiac) and they weren’t good, but they were easy after a day at work. Coach will eat anything, so I don’t really have a specific go-to menu when he’s not here. I know he’s cooked fish a few times when I’ve been away. I don’t like fish. It’s a goal to try to like it, but for now – eww – esp the smell. I hope you enjoy your vacation at your folks’ place.
Ernie, I think you must be an extrovert to my introvert! It sounds like you fill your time “alone” with more people! I love the idea of keeping the kiddos up late, eating ice cream and watching movies. That must have been such a treat for them, too.
Your magic sauce sounds amazing, and my husband would also hate the smell of it! Vinegar is a big area where our food preferences diverge. I will need to try it the next time I’m solo!
It’s sooooo good! But very fragrant, so it’s a good plan to wait until he’s out of the house!
Well, Mike travels every week, so I get to do this weekly! I have Ella here, so we usually just make the meals we like and have girl time, which is really nice. Nothing too exciting, honestly. I go to bed earlier—which might sound depressing, but I love it!
I sometimes have the house to myself for a day, if Mr has to go into the office (he works from home), or a few days if he has to travel for work. I typically treat myself to takeout lunch and/or indulge in something he can’t stand – like shrimp or omelets, lol
When I have the house to myself is also often when I tackle random projects that are just simpler to do if nobody else is around to be bothered/get in the way. And there’s a lot of reading and watching silly girlie shows in the evening 🙂
The Dirty Dancing soundtrack IS the best!
I do get to have alone time as the Coach travels a bit here and there…I mean, not like he used to a few years ago when He’d be gone most weekends. (I didn’t hate it!)
I don’t recall the phrase Secret Single Behavior at all. Did I miss it? Did you make this up?
I generally will buy a large salad from like Panera, and make two meals out of it, or just forage on cheese/crackers and fruit and kinda healthy snacks.
Your husband won’t be alone though; Leo will be keeping tabs!
I believe Secret Single Behavior is from Sex and the City. I picture Carrie in her apartment eating crackers over the sink.
I looooove being alone, getting takeout for dinner, not talking to anyone or doing any chores.
that is an amazing question. I love being alone but don’t get to do it often. My husband works from home, so during the school year when I’m at work, and the kids are at school, he is alone.
I am often peopled-out since I am surrounded by people, adolescents, a lot.
my alone time is not glamorous at all… patter around the house, picking up, cleaning, organizing, decluttering while no one is looking… 😉 I even enjoy laundry when I am alone, with a podcast, or a Shopify playlist. Can I do all that with people in the house? Sure. Will I enjoy it? Hell no.