My, my, Internet! You have strong feelings about the etiquette of naming conventions on wedding invitations!
(Which I love, by the way!)
(Wait, that was unclear… I love BOTH naming conventions on wedding invitations AND your strong opinions.)
Anyway, I have had etiquette on the brain lately, and had an experience this weekend that I would love your thoughts on.
I was at a work event with a few people I’d just met. We went to a local restaurant – nothing fancy, something between a Houlihan’s and a McCormick & Schmick’s in terms of niceness – and ordered some spinach and artichoke dip to share. The restaurant provided us all with appetizer plates, so I used a spoon to scoop some dip onto my plate and took a couple of chips as well.
Others at the table disregarded the plates and simply dipped their chips in the communal spinach and artichoke dip pot.
Listen. It is well-recorded in these pages that I am a huge germaphobe. So it probably wouldn’t surprise you that I was a little grossed out by the idea of sharing dip with people who were pretty much strangers. Although, had I been with a few super close friends, I STILL would have encouraged the dip-to-plate method of eating.
Even with my husband, occasionally. For instance, when we order spring rolls at a Thai restaurant and the spring rolls are accompanied by delicious plum sauce. My husband and I will spoon plum sauce onto our individual plates and dip our spring rolls there, replenishing the sauce on our plates as needed.
My thought process is thus: If you use only a spoon in the dip, you won’t get chips or crackers or bits of spring roll wrapper in the dip… Leaving it pristine for your dining companion.
Plus, the dip-to-plate method completely eliminates the possibility of the Double Dip, which grosses me out.
As an aside: Yes, yes, I KNOW that some people do not care at ALL about double dipping… And in fact share drinks and will take a bite from someone else’s hamburger – even biting over the other person’s original bite marks. But not everyone is OKAY with this, case in point being ME.
And, while I am not a Natural Sharer of Food (think Joey from Friends), I do TRY to be open to sharing… But as long as I can use YOUR fork to move a bite of my food to YOUR plate. I don’t want you to eat off of my plate. I don’t want you to eat off of my fork. And VICE VERSA. It is delightful that you want me to enjoy a bite of the most delicious halibut that you have ever tasted, but PLEASE, for the love of cheeseburgers, PLEASE use my fork to transport the bite.
The exception here is my husband, although ONLY OCCASIONALLY. It is a rare day indeed when I will eat something off his fork or vice versa. And very rarely, purely for the sake of our relationship, will I do the same with his parents. (My in laws are kind, generous, share-happy people.)
What do YOU do, Internet? Do you prefer the dip-to-plate method? Or are you a free-for-all type of dipper?
How do you share food with others? Do you have boundaries when it comes to food swapping?
And as long as we’re on the general subject, what about food in your own home? When I’m entertaining, I always put out just a portion of the olives or guacamole or stuffed mushrooms that I’ve whipped up. Then, if my guests eat everything I’ve set out for them, I replenish the food. (Believe me – no one is going hungry at my house!)
Also – and yes, I know this sounds wasteful – I will throw away anything that my guests haven’t eaten. I am not one to pour the remaining chips from the bowl back into the bag… Or to pop the leftover olives back into the jar… Or – heaven forbid – to dump the remaining salsa back into its container.
Writing all this out, I feel like I come across as a huge weirdo. And yet, I stand firmly behind my Food Sharing Policies. Now I’d like to know if I’m the only weirdo out there.
Paul and I often get a dip-related appetizer at restaurants, and I don’t mind sharing the dip with him. But I wouldn’t really want to share the dip with anyone I DON’T kiss on the lips.
This is very interesting to me because my first thought was “Eww….so gross,” but then I realized that I’m from Texas and on pretty much every table, there’s salsa. In little bowls. Which you rarely get to yourself (usually they put out enough bowls for two people to share each one). So, while it still grosses me out to think about sharing, I realize that I do this often with salsa (hope the jalepenos kill the germs). However, when there’s something like queso or spinach dip, I usually put it on a plate.
Very interesting social behaviors, huh? 😉
I only drop the food-sharing boundaries with family, maaaaaybe with very close friends. Coworkers–definitely spoon the dip onto your plate, people! It’s just polite.
hmmm, I’m guilty of sharing when it’s with Russ, family, or VERY close friends but with strangers I’m always putting things on my own plate – with my own utensils. And I’m the same with you when it comes to having house guests – I just try to be sure that I’m not going to waste a ton of food – but I’ll always put more out!
I sometimes wish I was more of a germaphobe…
Double-dipping is a no-no unless it is something I am sharing with my husband. I don’t mind sharing dip with family and close friends (again, without the double)…but I always use a plate when I am with people I don’t know very well.
You don’t like sharing germs, I don’t blame you for not liking germs, I think I’m weird for being so laid back about it.
So, dipping rules for me revolve around who I am with. If I am with anyone who I am not absolutely sure won’t mind- I use the plate.
You are polite and thoughtful to do so with relative strangers.
I don’t worry about sharing. The one thing that grosses me out is if someone pets their dog and then grabs a chip out of a bag. I can’t eat any of those chips after that.
My college roommate wouldn’t share food or drinks with me, which kind of annoyed me because I saw the guys she made out with, and I was way cleaner and less germy than them!
Yes – the pet hand is gross as well. I don’t need a chip with a side of dog hair thankssomuch.
i think i’m an in between girl. husband: double dip is okay. family/close friends: dip away – but don’t double dip! work people: SCOOP ON DISH!
my husband and I share everything… Sorry. I figure it is better to expose yourself to the “little” germs to boister the immune system. If you protect fromeverything, I think it hurts the immune system more. I don’t share with strangers if I or they are sick, but generally it doesn’t bother me. Plus I like trying my hubby’s food. He’s a more adventurous orderer when we go out.
Yeah, maybe “germaphobe” isn’t really the right term… I don’t so much care about the germs, I guess? I am just grossed out by saliva and such. The thought of a chip edge that’s been in someone else’s mouth being in MY mouth makes me shudder. Maybe it’s more of a boundaries issue? I honestly don’t know how to characterize it.
I know that supposedly you need to expose yourself to germs to shore up your immune system. I don’t eschew airplanes or shopping malls or grocery stores. Plus, my husband brings home PLENTY from the hospital. So I don’t think I’m missing out on anything by keeping my plate to myself!
I grew up in a large family… if every one gets a plate for dip… that’s over 10 plates… just for chips and dip. Yeah… we are big on the communal food. But I understand, if the plates are there and available and some one else is going to wash them… I’m all up for it. I guess I don’t care either way.
And I wasn’t discounting you germ experiences. 😉
People BOGGLE my mind!!!
I wouldn’t dream of double dipping when someone sharing a dish with random people that I don’t know.
I would share anything with S though… I figure we make out, so what’s the difference?!
But I too, believe that there is a reason that we have that nice little plate to scoop our dippy-dip onto. Why not utilize it?!!?
Just to gross you out: My husband and I frequently make risotto which takes about eight years to get the rice to the exact specifications we both enjoy. We will inevitably have a “tasting spoon” that we use to dip into the risotto, take a bite, test it, and then hand it off to the other person do the exact thing. And then we put the spoon down and use it five minutes later to test again. Oh, yeah.
If we have guests over, we don’t do this. But every germ I have, my husband has and vice versa. We share spoons, forks, and fight over the last M&M, even if it has fallen on the floor!
(Oh, and I will totally put the chips back in the bag or the salsa back in the jar. You gotta toughen up that immune system, I say.)
Have no fear – you are definitely not a lone weirdo.
Though in this case, I often feel like a weirdo on the other side.
Though I try and use the pile of stuff on my own plate rule with people, I could truly care less about germs.
It probably stems from the time living with a Moroccan family.
Did you know they all eat from one large plate?
It’s not your kind of country.
I initially read your first sentence as “… you are definitely not alone, weirdo.” Glad that, upon re-reading, you were much kinder. 🙂
You are right – Morocco is NOT my country. (Although I hear it is lovely!)
Ew, I would never ever double dip with people who aren’t my family and my fiance…even with them, I’d seriously reconsider it. I’d definitely put a little dip on my plate and replenish as needed…
Did any of the co-workers actually double dip? Or was it just the threat of double dipping that weirded you out? If so, you are a nut. But a loveable one 🙂
I think there may have been some double dipping going on? They were certainly discussing it. But it reminded me of how differently I do things, food-sharing-wise.
First off, you are so funny. 🙂
Personally, I will share anything with my husband, and double dipping with him doesn’t bother me.
Close friends/family? I’ll share but NO double dipping!
Anyone else? Grab a plate please!
P.S. If it makes you feel any better, my mother-in-law won’t share anything at all with her husband, and she won’t eat her own leftovers because someone else has already eaten from them. And that someone was her. lol
For some reason, I have absolutely no issues with sharing food or drinks. I understand this may hurt your image of me, but it’s the truth. It doesn’t bother me if people double dip, as long as no one is sick. It’s a common occurrence around here for me to steal the husband’s drink or for us to just share one drink at dinner. I’m not sure he was okay with this before me, but my mom and I are always sharing food-always have-and I think I just kind of forced it upon him. Oops.
But I don’t think you’re weird. It’s me who will end up with the flu first….
The whole double-dipping thing I am very aware of, considering my daughter now does it and I have to keep her away from doing that. I also throw out extra food — who wants to re-eat that? Ick.
I couldn’t help but smile reading this. This weekend I took a drink of Adam’s drink (which he hates because he says he can taste my chapstick), he and I shared a dipping cup for our fried won-tons and BOTH double dipped AND left crumbs, and while camping I took a bite out of his burger.
So, basically, sharing food with me would be your worst nightmare. 🙂
As a general rule, I agree with you. Though with my husband and MY side of the family, and with a few super close, life-long, we-pretty-much-shared-sippy-cup friends, I’m a bit more mi casa and food is su casa and food.
However, my in-laws? I struggle with. I do it. But it’s gross to me.
And putting guest-touched dip back into a jar? NO MA’AM! I totally agree with you on this one!
With acquaintances, I put the dip on my plate and expect others to do the same. With family and friends? Well, hell, I don’t care. I shared a straw with my boss last week when he wanted to taste my starbucks drink. That was a bit awkward, but honestly, I don’t really care. I did tease him about making sure he didn’t backwash, ha! Sharing dishes and dips and even silverware just doesn’t really freak me out if I know you well enough.
So I am going to imagine you would be completely horrified to learn that one morning I accidently put my husband’s contacts in instead of my own? That was REALLY gross. I will share a fork or some salsa, but not eye juices.
For some reason, the contact thing doesn’t bug me in the least. But one day I accidentally used my husband’s toothbrush and I almost died.
I mean, I DIDN’T die, clearly, because it’s NOT a big deal. But BLECH.
I hadn’t really given it much thought until reading your post, but I guess I’m pretty open with food sharing. I don’t mind community dip and double dipping with friends/family doesn’t bother me. I’ll gladly share my fork or straw. With people I don’t know well, I would grab a plate but that’s really more out of a desire to be polite than fear of double dipping, etc. When you think about it, I guess it’s sorta gross.
Well, it’s gross unless it’s family. Q and I had this happen to us recently. We’d taken out a single guy and he dived right in, double dipping and all. It was gross. I stopped eating.
After a party I normally throw things out ANYWAY because it has been sitting out for HOURS…mega gross. Forget sweaty hands swimming around the chips, that salsa IS WARM!
You crack me up with your phobes.
I’m with you 100% on all points. I once had a relative (my husband’s aunt) helping me clean up in between courses at a party I was having. She insisted on saving all the leftover dip,chips,etc that had been sitting out for hours saying she didn’t believe in wasting food. I tried to explain that I didn’t think it was sanitary to put uneaten chips back in thier bags,etc. , but she would not comply. After she left the kitchen I promptly emptied the refrigerater of all her handiwork and dumped it all in the garbage!
Yes, I have done that same maneuver – throwing stuff out after the frugal person has left. Sometimes it’s the best way to keep the peace!
I used to be exactly like you. And then I got a cat. And then I got another cat. And then I let a boy (boys are gross) move in with me. And then I got a dog.
I then started to think about ALLLLLLLLLL the nasty things out there that I probably have ZERO knowledge of that I come in contact with every day. The two cats alone require that I clean 3 litter boxes. Sometimes the dog pees on his own leg. Brian comes home covered in dirt.
Think of all the things we touch on a daily basis. Railings. Knobs. Doors. Handshakes. Hugs. Restaurant utensils.
It’s all so overwhelming!!!
I’ve come to accept the community salsa bowls are probably the cleanest thing I could come in contact with on any given day. Not to mention the more exposure you get to the “nastiness” the stronger and more equipped your immune system gets…. and I’m all for building up the immune system…
Ok it’s 12:30 am and I’m rambling….time to clean the cat urine off my floor (read my latest post)
Lately, my tolerance for gross has reached all new levels 🙂
Well I guess I am a wierdo too as I am very particular about food sharing. I will use the plate provided to spoon the dip onto and I will only do that once. I will not spoon out a second portion. Once it is gone from my plate; it’s gone. There are exceptions with my husband. After all I kiss the man all the time. If it is just my husband and I dining we usually share the dip bowl most of the time. With my children they also get their own plate of dip because if they can get away with it they will double dip and that is gross. When I have guests in my home I too set out portions of the food I am serving and when it is gone I replenish it. If the food is not completely eaten I do not keep it- it gets thrown out. My preference in this matter can be a direct result of working in healthcare, I payed attention in micro bio class in college and being married to a doctor. I know what you can get by sharing food other than the food and I also know what happens to food after it has been sitting out uncovered for a while so I do not add it back in the bag, jar, container ect….
Yay! A woman after my own heart!
Gosh, this subject gives me the heebs. How about the wedding trend of the chocolate fountain? Blech! 200 hundred people standing around double dipping into a vat of chocolate…..or how about the dipper samples at home shows?! UNLIMITED peeps happily dipping away…..Gosh, it all makes me twitchy. and I’ve been known to struggle with a pot luck. I don’t know these peoples cooking habits! I have devised subtle ways of inquiring who brought what, and will only eat from those I know EXTREMELY well. Whew, its exhausting being me!:)
My friend and her family is super super picky about this. Well her, and her mom are anyways. No double dipping, must use plate, etc. As to left overs or un-used go into a new container, or ziploc. Then usually the younger siblings eat it.
I prefer no double dipping. But im pretty close with my friends so I dont mind sharing the dip. And with my family we all have the same germs. And if someone wants a bit of my meal. I usually spoon a portion for them. I dont like them eating off my fork or what not.
I think we must be twins who were separated at birth. You are the ONLY other person who feels EXACTLY the same as I do on all points!!!!!!