We were at my cousin’s baptism, greeting guests after the church service.

A tall gentleman* walked up and shook my father’s hand heartily.

“So good to see you doc!” he said. “It’s been way too long!”

“It sure has been a long time,” my dad said, smiling.

“Yeah, I think it was about two years ago I came into see you about my hemorrhoids. Man, they were bad. I couldn’t sit down for about two months. But thanks to that cream you gave me, I feel much better.”

“Oh, glad to hear it,” said my dad.

“But I’ve been meaning to come back and see you, doc,” the man went on. “I have this big festering boil on my lower back. It’s been there for about two weeks now. It hurts and it’s full of puss and…”

About this time, I left my dad to fend for himself. I’d heard enough!

The thing is, once you’re a doctor, people seem to think that they can bend your ear about their medical problems anytime, anywhere.

I know this drives my mother crazy. And while my husband hasn’t really had to deal with it (outside of advice requests from his sister and parents), I am sure I’ll grow to hate this aspect of his profession as well.

When you’re a doctor, you have so much power. People automatically seem to trust you more. To feel okay opening up to you, sharing with you the most personal aspects of their lives.

I’m sure it happens with other professions. Lawyers must get requests for instant legal advice in grocery store lines… Accountants must get questions about tax season from fellow church goers… Plumbers must get asked to look at a variety of toilets and sinks while at dinner parties.

But I’ve seen it happen ten jillion times. And every time, it surprises me, bemuses me, and perplexes me more than a little.

This is one of those unreasonable expectations that a lot of patients seem to have when it comes to doctors.

I don’t know all the legal technicalities, but I can’t imagine that it’s a good idea for a physician to give you any sort of medical advice outside the confines of the hospital or doctor’s office.

Plus, why would YOU want to share something as personal as your health with someone you may not know very well? In a public place, no less? (Okay, okay… as a blogger, maybe this one is more understandable than most.)

But above all, why would you put a doctor in that position? She’s at the grocery store/golf course/gym/birthday party on her time off. She needs to relax and unwind as much as you do. She may not be able to leave all aspects of her job at work, but she certainly doesn’t want to be “on call” 24/7. Especially when she’s technically out of the office. She doesn’t need another patient – let alone one who’s asking for FREE advice – to deal with when she’s thinking about her tennis serve or trying to pick up pizza for dinner or watching her kid play at the playground.

Listen, doctors – for the most part – really, genuinely want to help people. They may have a hard time telling you to back off if you’ve crossed a line. So don’t put them in that position.

If you want free medical advice, marry a doctor. Otherwise, make an appointment.

* While this is a real experience, I’ve changed any identifying details to protect the innocent.