Husband and I were at the mall the other day, looking for the Elusive Perfect Headboard for our bed. On our way to Pottery Barn, we were walking behind this very fit woman. She had the tight, muscular calves, thin, toned arms, a teeny tiny waist, and long blonde hair. And she was working it – white halter top, little black mini skirt, strappy gold heels.

Internet, I’m not going to lie, I was envious of that figure. How do people get their legs to look like that? Because I would give up my firstborn to anyone who gives me the formula for thin, taut thighs.

But then she stopped to look in the window of a store, and we saw her face, and holy cannoli, she had to be 50 if she was a day.

You know what I’m talking about right? I mean, Girlfriend had a tan and a great stylist and she’d gotten nips and tucks in all the right places (obvious face lift, we’re talking Joan Rivers here), but there was no disguising the fact that she was NOT 23 and hadn’t been for a good three decades.

Whenever I see women like this – another good example is Danielle on the Real Housewives of New Jersey – I am torn between thinking, “Wow, I hope I still look that good when I’m that old” and thinking, “Good lord woman, dress your age.”

If there’s anything Stacey and Clinton have taught me*, it’s that you don’t have to dress like an old lady as soon as you turn 45 or something. But you do need to dress your age. As in, don’t wear halter tops and mini skirts after age 25.

Then again – and clearly I am not above Taking a Stand and Then Totally Taking the Opposite Stand – if you’ve got it, you should flaunt it.

* Hmm. I have a disturbing tendency to talk about TV people as though they are my real life friends. Note to self: Get out of the house more.