Happy Thanksgiving to my US friends! And happy It’s Not Thanksgiving! to my buddies who live elsewhere.
My husband and daughter and I will be cooking and eating WAY too much food today, but I am very thankful that we will get to do it together. In our jammies, if we want to. We are all fine and testing negative and my parents may drop by to eat with us this afternoon, which is such a wonderful perk of having them nearby. And I’m grateful for FaceTime and for everyone’s continued good health and for being able to put goat cheese in my mashed potatoes and for blogs and the bloggers who write them. In fact, I am overwhelmed by all the many wonderful things, big and small, that I have to be thankful for.
But as warm and fuzzy as being thankful makes us feel, I am going in a different direction today. Today, I want to talk about pet peeves.
I loved Colleen’s post about her social media pet peeves. And then Elisabeth posted about some of her pet peeves… and I may be missing someone else. (If so, link to your post in the comments.) It’s so fun to learn what little things grate on other people!
What are some of your top pet peeves? The more I think about them, the more I seem to have. I am clearly a very difficult person, but I suppose we all knew that already.
- When there are crumbs in a communal food, like butter, jam, or mayonnaise. EW. I am a firm believer in using a CLEAN utensil to extract these spreads from their container.
- When people don’t answer *all* the questions I ask in an email. I am much less stringent about this in personal communications, but if I have multiple questions that really need answering – like for a work reason – I need all the answers. If there are a lot of questions, I try to put them in bullet points for easy reading. Yet some people still pick and choose only a few to respond to. Whyyyyyyy?
- When people continue a conversation in a brand new email rather than replying to the original email chain. This baffles me. Sometimes I need the previous email to refer to. Just hit reply!
- Replying all. This is only very rarely necessary or useful. I went on about it at length in a previous post, but my general feeling is AVOID.
- When people are late for an appointment and don’t give me a heads up or apologize. Being late happens. I am sometimes late. But it takes two seconds to text or call and let a person know that you hit traffic or have a flat tire or your child is insisting on eating cereal piece by piece! This has been a big headache with so many service people in and out of my house this fall. The majority of them completely miss the appointment time and then show up an hour later and don’t even apologize. Grrr. (Worse, though, is when they show up an hour EARLY! I had two separate service people show up while I was still asleep, and then seem surprised that I was frazzled by their appearance! A WHOLE HOUR!)
- When people charge for something without telling the customer they are going charge for it. We were at a coffee shop/bakery recently and my daughter wanted some water, but didn’t want to drink it out of the cup provided. It was A) Styrofoam and B) the last cup left, and the rim was turned upside down onto the little table that held the water pitcher, which grossed her out. (It grosses me out, too – who knows how clean that table is? But I feel bad that I am passing on my germophobic tendencies to my daughter.) So I went up to the counter, ordered another muffin, and asked if I could have one of the lidded cups they serve coffee in. The person said sure, I paid for my muffin, she handed me the lidded cup… And THEN she charged me 85 cents for the cup. Listen. I want to be very clear here. I do not object to a business requiring me to pay extra for a cup that is different from those they provide for free. That is a completely reasonable thing to do! However, if I had known the lidded cup would cost 85 cents, I would have declined the cup and maybe asked them to replenish the Styrofoam ones. I think you need to tell someone that a thing costs money before you hand it over to them! This reminds me of another bakery where I ordered a latte, and the barista asked me what kind of milk I wanted and listed all the milks they have. I asked for almond milk. And then my bill was higher than I anticipated, and I discovered that they charge 50 cents (or whatever) for almond milk. Which, again, is fine! But I just want to KNOW in advance that I am being charged for stuff.
- Audiobook narrators who pause in weird spots in the sentence. This happened in the book I just listened to, and it was so distracting! And I listened to it at double time – I can’t imagine how annoying it would be at regular speed. Here is an example from the book; I added periods every time the narrator pauses: “Abby tried to relax, to be in the moment, and. Not compare. For example. The way that Mark’s formerly. Soft yielding body. A body that. Had made her feel so safe. Was now taut and muscled. That every part. That had. Once felt gentle and welcoming. Now bulged. Or rippled. Stiff and firm.” I don’t have the physical book in front of me, so I don’t know if this is one sentence or two, but it’s certainly not THIRTEEN.
- Audiobooks that have clearly mispronounced words in them. This is not just on the narrator – I think if there’s a word you don’t know, you should look up how to pronounce it before you read it in a recording, but I don’t actually know how audiobooks come to be, so maybe there’s no opportunity to do that. And, especially if you are avid reader, you may have only ever encountered a word on the page and not aurally, and you may not realize you are mispronouncing a word! But there should be SOME oversight. Some sort of proof-listening process that catches that kind of thing.
- When people are on their phones during a social interaction. I get needing to have your phone nearby in case of emergency or if you are anticipating a notification of some sort. But it drives me nuts when people check their texts and emails when we’re supposed to be having a conversation.
- Dirty handles. Someone who shall remain nameless cannot eat yogurt without getting it all over her hands, and then transfers the yogurt to the faucet handle, the handles of the fridge door, the pull on the drawer that holds the trash can, the handle of the dishwasher. Gross.
- When people do not obey the posted regulations at gas stations. I feel like it happens more and more frequently that I see people blatantly flouting safety rules at the gas station. I am A Rule Follower. Even if I think a rule is stupid, or completely unnecessary, I will still do my level best to adhere to it because it is A Rule and I feel like it’s there for a reason. George Costanza voice: We live in a society! And the rules at the gas station seem particularly important, considering that gas is flammable and we could all erupt in a fiery blaze at any moment. I am talking about rules like not using a cell phone while pumping gas. Not getting back in your car while your gas is being pumped. Turning off your engine while the gas is flowing. NOT SMOKING WHILE PUMPING GAS. Some of this feels like common sense, but even if not, the rules are clearly posted on the gas dispensers. Why do people ignore them?! (People do not read; I recognize this.)
- When interior designers install things because they are trendy or cool but don’t see if they actually work in the space. I have this particular gripe about several things in my house, especially in the kitchen. Maybe one of these days I will do a post about them. But I’m talking about things that maybe appear all the time in magazines or seem really cutting edge or cool but don’t have a real function. Sometimes these things don’t even work as intended! Like those barn doors that have become nearly ubiquitous over the past five or ten years. I have been in several hotels that have a barn door… but they don’t provide the kind of privacy a door should offer. I complained at length about this a little over a year ago, but clearly it’s bugging me anew. I will give you one example from our new house before I stop complaining: there is a tall, narrow, vertically-oriented drawer on the left side of our oven. It is intended to hold kitchen utensils like ladles and spatulas. Super cool! When I first saw it, I was delighted. What a great way to get your kitchen tools off the counter! But it doesn’t work. The utensils splay all over the drawer and get caught in the sides and you can’t fit very many and it’s just… not functional. Since I fully bought in to the idea of not keeping our utensils on the counter, we now keep our utensils jumbled up together in a real drawer which has its own problems.
I am kinda sorta attempting to complete NaBloPoMo, with the full expectation that life will make it impossible any day now. If you want to follow along, or join the fun, check out San’s blog here.
CRUMBS IN THE BUTTER DISH. When I was in high school we had to list our biggest pet peeve and this was mine! As a mom I kinda have had to “get over it” but it really does still irk me.
And that spatula drawer sounds impossible. I really do hope you do a post all about the head-scratching design elements in your new home. We have many in our place, too. What was someone thinking? Or maybe they weren’t thinking?
Hope you have a fantastic day, even if it does look a little different than first anticipated. Happy Thanksgiving <3
I think I have been so militant with my family that they are terrified of leaving crumbs in anything, lol. But sometimes we have houseguests who take a different approach and there will be little bits of food in the giant tub of Greek yogurt or the cream cheese or whatever and I cannot stand it!
People on their phones during a social interaction makes me absolutely bonkers. My husband’s cousin’s husband (lol, I had to read that three times to make sure that’s right) would ALWAYS check his phone while they were having dinner with us. Listen, I love the guy, he’s great, but TEXTING AT THE TABLE. It made me mental. I remember a woman who was in my circle at the playground when the kids were in school, I’d be talking to her and she’d just whip out her phone and start using it. I don’t think there is anything that makes a person feel less seen and less interesting than that.
Exactly. It feels as hurtful as someone saying to your face, You are boring and I don’t want to be here.
Listen there are so many things in my life that I am grateful for BUT yessss I want to do the Airing of the Grievances on Thanksgiving!!!!!
Why is it that my parents only had to tell me once not to use a dirty knife for communal food but certain people that I live with think the rule only applies to other people? I’ve gotten to the point at work where I’ll take ANY answer to an email, but yes to the points you raised about selective answers, inappropriate reply alls, etc, etc. I like to joke with my boss that I wonder what would happen if I just stopped answering my work emails, because it seems to work for people who makes a lot more money than me.
Ha, I’m sure everyone who doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving today is very relieved to have a normal post about pet peeves instead of the endless Thanksgiving jargon. (I mean- I do celebrate Thanksgiving. But it’s come to my attention that there are lot of bloggers in our group who don’t.)
Yes to all of these- except I don’t listen to audiobooks. And maybe that’s why- you have to really like the narrator, otherwise the reading experience is ruined.
You know what’s even more annoying than sticky yogurt handprints everywhere? MOLASSES. Someone- not me- puts molasses in his oatmeal on a regular basis and it just gets EVERYWHERE. It drips down the sides of the bottle, gets all over the shelf, and there’s sticky molasses residue on all the places you mentioned- fridge door handle, the faucet, etc. Grr.
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope it’s a fun and cozy day for you.
MOLASSES. Omg.
Crumbs in communal food drives me absolutely over the edge. I now have my own butter container because of it. For some unfathomable reason, the other people in my household were not complying with the extremely reasonable request not to get foods into other foods with dirty utensils, and at some point I realized I could leave them to their crumby butter and have my own uncrumby butter.
It’s really the ONLY CHOICE for those of us who dare to undertake such Herculean efforts regularly.
When my elderly mother stays with us one week every month, she not only puts crumbs in the butter, she also puts butter in the jam because she uses the same knife to apply jam to her buttered toast. EVEN WHEN I PUT A SPOON IN THE JAM JAR.
Now I just pre-empt it all by preparing her breakfast for her.
My husband insists upon keeping a teaspoon in the sugar canister so that he can spoon his sugar directly into his travel mug of tea each morning on his way out the door. YES, WE HAVE A SUGAR BOWL RIGHT THERE. NO, I DO NOT KNOW WHY HE REFUSES TO USE THAT. Are there rivers of tea down the sides of my clear Plexiglas canister? Yes. He claims, “I did not do that.”
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Where do I start? I’ll have to think about this a bit. I put my phone in my purse when I’m at a social interaction. Sometimes I put it on silent so I won’t be tempted. With my little ones and my 91 year old mother, I always think of someone needing me urgently. But I’m really not indispensable. 🙂 Enjoy your special Thanksgiving!
The audiobook pausing would make me crazy! And the pronunciation issues, too. I was listening to a series where they didn’t make the fifth audiobook right away, and when they did it was a different reader, and at the very beginning he pronounces a character’s name differently, and has his voice sounding so totally different from the previous reader–I couldn’t listen to it!
The yogurt-prints would also make me crazy.
Right now most of my pet peeves feel really large: like, are they still pets if they’re the size of rhinos? But I’m trying to look on the bright side. Like, so what if my brother unloaded the dishwasher and put things in different places–at least he did it! And yes, it sounded like he was opening every cupboard in the kitchen twice at lunchtime yesterday, but it turned out he made a sandwich for Mom, too, and that was good of him.
I love hearing about other people’s pet peeves so thanks for sharing yours… and I pretty much agree with ALL of them, esp. the ones about emails (particularly in work situations – I try to write concise emails and make them easily readable by using paragraphs, bullet points, bold font, etc. but people still ignore important questions or don’t read to the end and then ask about something that I clearly addressed in my email. Drives me nuts!)
I also agree that you should be told if something costs extra upfront.
And showing up EARLY is actually worse than showing up late, IMHO. Although both is annoying, especially when no apology is given.
Here are my recent pet peeves: https://theinbetweenismine.com/2023/11/13/13-current-pet-peeves/
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you can safely see your parents today. I am on my way home from our Thanksgiving prematurely because taco came down with a fever a couple of hours after we arrived. So now I am the a-hole that exposed a house of people to something. I really thought there were no viruses we hadn’t had this fall. Guess not.
I have a lot of pet peeves. Lateness is the top one. Leaving dirty dishes out is another. People who hog walking paths – like walking 3 abreast, making it hard for others to pass, is another. People who needlessly cc their boss is another big one. Like what are we doing here? Are you showing your boss what you are doing? Are you cc’ing him because you think my request is ridiculous? I don’t know. I never cc my boss. I think he would and should fire me if I brought him into the myriad of crap I work on in any given day.
Happy Thanksgiving, Suzanne!
God, my list of pet peeves is so ridiculously long I couldn’t even possibly begin to list them here. But, posts about the peeves we have with our house would be fun – and perhaps could help crowd source solutions.
We have this one tall and very narrow cabinet in our kitchen, which I assume is to be used for cookie sheets, etc. That’s all well and good, but it is too narrow to be useful if you have more than 3 or 4 items that need to be stored there.
OMG this list is everything. I could have written many of these myself, especially the email ones. I used to work with someone who would do the thing where they started a new email just so they could change the subject line and it made me so pissed off.
And don’t even get me started on how expensive alternative milks are LOL. I know that was NOT the point of that one but it triggered me.
I was listening to a book last week and they mispronounce Menards, a store we have out here, and I just about died.
Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you had a cozy day and got to see your parents!
My people do NOT wipe down a counter top or a table after they make a sandwich or something. It drives me batty. I did make a small list of things I hate, see what I did there – not pet peeves, but things I hate. People having loud phone conversations with their ear bud things in (when they look like they’re talking to themselves and half the time I think they are talking to me initially) while shopping in a shared space. Holy crap, I hate that.
I run a daycare, and people pay me each week. Sometimes they forget. It happens, but sheesh – try to do better. I’ve had one family that almost ALWAYS forgot to pay me. I don’t like to badger people for money. You can’t leave the store without paying for your items. I’m caring for THEIR CHILDREN. Priorities.
Oh goodness, YES. I know the book you are talking about and I HATED the narration. So hard to figure out what the emphasis was supposed to be. HATED. I liked the story though.
For work emails, I’ve gotten to where at the beginning I will say, “I have 3 matters that need your attention.” And then I will provide a numbered list. Does it help? No, not really. But it makes me feel anal-retentive and proactive at the same time, which is an accomplishment for sure.
My aunt and uncle recently bought a house with a recently remodeled kitchen with NO DRAWERS. Not hidden drawers, NO DRAWERS. I mean, what the ever-loving hell? Where do you keep your silverware in a situation like that? I can only surmise that the previous owners had an island of some sort that had all of the drawers, and they removed it and just left the next people to figure it out. Which of course they did, the put in an island with all of the drawers. But I was flabbergasted.
I was just toying with the idea of having a blog post where people could come bitch about their loved ones who might read about their misdeeds if it were on their OWN blog. Like, here’s a safe space to vent…and you did it! YAY! I’ve been bitching about this one a couple of times lately, and perhaps I’ve even done it here, but my husband sometimes comes downstairs in his bare feet, tshirt, and boxer shorts, and then turns on the heater. NOT COOL. I don’t care if you turn on the heater, IF YOU HAVE CLOTHES ON. I didn’t say anything to him about this, and yet somehow he came downstairs today in his robe and slippers. Thank you world!
I have been working on my own pet peeves post because everyone else is doing it, but I have only come up with three things. LOL. I feel like I complain a lot. How come I can think of those complaints NOW?
Communal crumbs. OMG. It feels similar to double dipping.
CRUMBS IN COMMUNAL FOOD **shakes fist**
Yes! You should always be warned about an upcharge!
The phone thing drives me bonkers too. Not only is it rude in the moment, but it makes it even tougher to teach our kids good phone etiquette when grownups can’t get it together!
Here’s last month’s complaint post: https://meltedsmoosh.blogspot.com/2023/10/whine-and-cheese.html
Crumbs in communal food would drive me up the wall! Benefits of living alone, haha.
I will sometimes use my phone while my gas is pumping, oops. Are there signs that we shouldn’t be doing that?! I need to look the next time I need gas.
I listened to a podcast where the host continually mispronounced Dunedin, which is a town near me. He kept saying “Dunn-eh-din” when it’s pronounced “Dunn-EE-din.” Then again, sometimes my GPS pronounces our town names wrong so I can’t be too mad about it, lol.
My husband is the Crumbs in the butter dish and touching things with sticky hands person. *sigh* It makes me nuts and I occasionally complain, but here we are almost forty years later and nothing has changed. What can one do?
OMG, crumbs in the butter dish. No. Seriously, no. And also? The yogurt? How does one get it on one’s hands… assuming one is eating with a spoon? I am flummoxed.
Oh these are always fun.
I totally get the charge thing. When my grandpa died my sisters and I decided to get a wreath for is burial. We decided up front how much everyone was able and willing to spend and I let the florist know what our max was. When they sent me the bill it was 20€ above. It is not that I wasn’t able to pay it but I was very clear in telling them the max. They could have at least try calling. Or put in a note with the bill but nothing. I called them and told them i didn’t appreciate it. I don’t think they really understood what my problem was since i did pay it.