Last night, I had a phone call from someone I adore. Let’s call this person Jamie.
Jamie asked me what I’d been up to over the weekend.
“Oh, just working,” I said. “The good doctor was on call overnight on Saturday, so I got caught up on a bunch of work projects.”
Jamie’s response was pity: “Oh no! That sounds awful! Working on a Saturday!”
I don’t mind working on a Saturday, which I shared with Jamie. In fact, as I told Jamie, I kind of prefer it because no one else works on Saturday, which means I don’t have phone and email interruptions to distract me. (I like working on holidays for the very same reason.)
But I’ve found that this is a pretty common reaction to my working on a Saturday. Or to working late on a weekday. Or to taking a working vacation.
Let me be clear with you: Sometimes, like anyone, I get irritated with work. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. Sometimes I feel taken advantage of, overworked, over-extended.
When I’m feeling these things, I share them – in gory, in-depth detail – with my mom and my husband. (They should be sainted. For realz, yo.)
But for the most part, I love what I do. It challenges and invigorates me. I get excited about the projects I’m working on. I think about them all the time. I feel energized when I’m working, and I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when I finish a project.
So I get a little miffed when someone’s reaction to my working is, “Awww, poor you!” or “Man, I hope they are paying you overtime for that!” or “You need to find another job.”
I think what people like Jamie are offering is commiseration. They want me to know they think I’m worth something… I’m valued… And they want me to know they feel outraged if I’m being exploited.
I appreciate that kindness, I really do. It’s wonderful to know that I have people in my corner.
But I guess I get a little sad, too… Sad that other people [a] don’t love their work or [b] don’t understand people who DO love their work or [c] can’t imagine that work is enjoyable, period or [d] don’t believe that the workday extends past 5:00 on Friday.
I’m not saying you should let your work define you… Or that you can’t/shouldn’t find fulfillment outside of your career… Or that there aren’t times when people ARE taken advantage of or exploited or underpaid or what have you… Or that you should devote your entire life to your job…
And believe me… I understand (finally, after several years) that you need to have down time, vacation, time away from work… That you need to have boundaries between your work life and personal life… That you need to be protective of your out-of-work life…
But I guess I think that if you work only until 5:00… Or feel that your job is chore, more often than not… Or feel that work is something to be gotten through, endured, tolerated…
Well, I think you need to find a new job.
I’ve learned some hard lessons recently — suddenly a job that I loved and worked so hard for was becoming less enjoyable:
1) Everyone has to have their work limits – those limits are unique to everyone – but I was completely not setting ANY and wondering why I was so cranky
2) Working 6 days a week as a teacher wasn’t ideal. Took me a year to realize that. With hubs as a MSIV — I thought it was my duty to work 3 different teaching jobs to help afford this year..wrong….I couldn’t afford the toll on my health and spirit
3) Just because hubby third year and on some rotations this year was “working” 6-7 days a week & with only a month or two off a month…did NOT mean that I had to too. For some reason I felt I had to “keep up” by working as much has he did — if he was on-call — I needed to be working too – WEIRD guilt relation….early marriage learner here 🙂
Definitely have realized that work is not going to define me. It’s the relationships along the way that will be the legacy. I was sacrificing the most important blessings right in front of my nose.
I believe in “It is what you make it”and I think if I tried harder I’d like my job more…but I don’t think I want to try harder at this job. When I’m passionate about something I throw myself in whole-heartedly—I’m inspired by you, because you have found that passion 🙂 I actually want a job I can get absorbed in…or at least bust my butt on a regular basis 🙂
I have to say I’m actually jealous b/c I’d love to be in the position of loving my work…unfortunately, right now I’m not, but if you enjoy what you do, and you like the opportunity to get caught up on your work, then go for it!
what do you do that you love so much?
(that was not very clearly written–what is your job that you love so much?)
I know what you mean — if you love what you do, it doesn’t matter what day or time it is! I was stuck in a job where I had to work weekends and late nights, and I hated the job, so I resented it even more because its crazy hours. So glad I’m not there anymore. If I had loved the job, it wouldn’t have bothered me at all! Good for you finding something you really love and something that excites you! That is a blessing.
I REALLY like my job too… granted I only work four hours a day, in the mornings. It’s a job where I am needed but I don’t have to take the stress of work home with me.
I guess the crappy thing for some people is they a) just don’t want to work and will never be happy with what it is their doing, or b) there are just SO few jobs out there that they can’t find the work that they are looking for.
I don’t know. Either way, my job puts money in the bank and feeds my children! I love it for that reason alone!!
I wish I loved my job that much. So desperately so that I am starting to question whether I chose the right career or not. I have no passion for it and I’m not sure if it is just my current (admittedly awful) work evironment, practicing law in the private sector or the practice of law altogether. It’s a little disheartening after so many years of school and so much money spent to get here!
I’m banking on it being a situational thing, but the job market really stinks right now, so it is reality for the foreseeable future. The thing is, I could easily be a workaholic. But in my current work environment, I resent that I have to work so many hours (I am the only one here on weekends, I work 12-13 hours a day, and none of the partners who bitch about me not working enough are EVER here after noon on Fridays or at all on the weekends, so it is demoralizing to be living up to standards that no one else seems to… among other hypocritical crap).
Hopefully one day I am in your shoes 🙂
Oh, if only finding a new job were as easy as saying those words.
I really like my job (I don’t feel I’m getting paid enough to do it, but that’s another item entirely) but I do feel like it ends at 5 pm on Friday afternoon. I don’t want to think about the growing task list or the various details that need to be decided on the next week. If I do, I won’t ever get to sleep on the weekends. Or any time, really. So I have to turn it off or else I’ll be working constantly. And for me, that’s not good!
I see this differently. I think that if you want to work as much as you do, then that’s not a problem. Especially if you can work that much and still do the things in your personal life that you want to do. But I had a job where I was basically on call 24/7 for several years, and I decided that I didn’t want work to be that much of my life. So now I have an 8 to 5 kind of job, and I love it. I do work a few extra hours here and there when it’s necessary, but I like having a job that is more predictable and that gives me more time to spend with my family. I don’t work less because I don’t like my job; in fact, I love my job. But I work less because I want more time of other aspects of my life too.
In that last sentence, I meant FOR other aspects, not OF other aspects.
I agree so much – it’s so weird how many people seem to just accept hating their jobs, when it’s such a large part of your life!
Totally agree with you! I love working on Saturdays too – the problem is that no one else does. As you realized. So making social calls/playdates is hard to to on weekends. I almost always have to say no!
I think it’s great that you love your job so much. I have always been a big supporter of finding a job or career that you love over something that pays well. I think it’s better to be happy and fulfilled than super rich. But if you find one that does both, SCORE! I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving and that all of your food turns out amazingly!!
I think people react the way society tells them to react and society says you should hate your job. When I tell people I am a stay at home Mom a lot of them say great, and a lot of them say they couldn’t do DAYS ON END with no purpose. hmmmmm? People always assume that other people think the way they do.
When I started at my current company, I had a 8-5 with one hour lunch and very clear boundaries between work and home type of job. Then I moved into a new role with drastically different responsibilities and discovered flexibility – there are days where I work until 7pm and other days when I’m done by 3. Sometimes I work on Friday nights or Sunday mornings, but not always. For me, I can work anywhere I have a laptop and an Internet connection so it does give me a lot of freedom – of course there are days when I really can’t figure out how to disconnect and step away. I think it’s really about finding a balance that works for you and your life.