I know that pretty much the entire blogosphere is at BlogHer, this very second, forming friendships and meeting their favorite bloggers in person and collecting big bags of SWAG… And I know this because I am NOT there, and am dejectedly hitting “refresh” on my favorite blogs just in case they are updating from NYC.
Anyway. Here’s some randomosity!
* Even though I am pouting – just a little – about not being a BlogHer, I don’t think I could ever go. For one thing, I am hugely awkward in person. For another thing, I am very shy, and would probably spend the whole conference skulking in the backs of rooms and wistfully glancing at the bloglebrities I’d die to meet and then going up to my hotel room and crying.
* My husband and I got into a super huge fight this week. It involved our upcoming vacation. You see, he came home from work at 9:00 in the morning and asked me if I’d had a chance to look at Asheville and Charlottesville and decide where to go on our vacation. I told him I’d only been able to look in Asheville, and I found a really cute B&B called the Biltmore Village Inn. Then HE said that HE’D found something called the Residences at Biltmore that looked really nice. And then he said that he’d also found something called the Inn at the Biltmore that looked really cool too.
Wherein I said, “I JUST told you about the Inn at the Biltmore.”
And he said, “No you didn’t. You just told me about the Residences at Biltmore.”
And I was all, “Are you crazy, man? YOU just told ME about the Residences at Biltmore! I had never heard of that until you JUST NOW TOLD ME!”
And he was all, “Nuh uh.”
And by this point I was in a frothing rage because he was being CRAZY and on top of that STUBBORN, so I screeched, “YOU JUST TOLD ME ABOUT THE RESIDENCES. I WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THE INN AT THE BILTMORE!”
And then he went to brush his teeth and we both calmed down and looked things up. And apparently we are both idiots.
The end.
* Speaking of Asheville. THANK YOU for all your excellent advice! You did absolutely nothing to help me make a decision, but you did make me feel a whole lot better about going to either Charlottesville or Asheville.
However… There’s been a vacation… snafu, if you will.
You see, my MIL just informed my husband that she has a week of her time share available. And I’m not going to pretend I understand time share logistics, but it sounded like we could use it for our vacation.
And let it never be said that I am a spendthrift, Internet! I jumped all over the possibility that our lodging could be FREE.
However, there are no places where we could stay in Asheville or Charlottesville.
Hence the snafu.
There are some OTHER places we could go. (And stay for FREE.) But for some reason, none of those places are particularly appealing to my husband. He is SET on Charlottesville (or Asheville, but he is leaning toward C-Ville). And he is fine with not only a) paying for rooms but b) paying a LOT for rooms and c) having a shorter vacation than we would with the time share.
Baffling, I tell you.
* At this very moment I am eating cottage cheese and carrots. And I have the sinking sensation that the cottage cheese has, shall we say, “turned.”
I mean, I smelled it before I put some on my plate. And I checked the expiration date (Monday the ninth). And I even tasted a little curd, which seemed fine. But now that I’m eating big bites of it, it’s got a weird, sour, “off” sort of taste.
I guess if you see another post like this one, you’ll know who to blame.
* Speaking of food poisoning… because it’s everyone’s favorite topic… If the cottage cheese does me in, that will be the second time this summer that I’ve had food poisoning. Also: The second time EVER.
How can one go 29 years without suffering from food poisoning… and then have two bouts of it in the span of a couple of months?
* By the way, in case you were wondering, the second bout with the ol’ FP was far better than the first bout.
That’s because the first bout occurred while my husband and I were out of town. And we were staying with friends. Who only have one bathroom. Conveniently located right across the hall from their bedroom.
So the second bout did not have that embarrassing side effect. Also, I did not have to deal with Sweat Chills, where you are hot as hell and damp as a wet rag but your teeth are chattering.
Nor did I have to deal with Running Out of Toilet Paper When You Need Toilet Paper More Than You Ever Have in Your Whole Life. Which led to me frantically searching under the bathroom sink in my friends’ house… and then crawling (YES. On my hands and knees) down the hall to the guest room where my husband was blissfully asleep and begging him to help me find the toilet paper.
Y’all. My husband has NEVER – in the entire duration of our nearly nine-year relationship – seen me barf. And I was afraid that Bout One with the Ol’ FP would end that streak. (It didn’t.)
* My, this blog post has certainly taken a turn for the disgusting. Thank goodness no one is reading!
* So, in non-barf-related news, I think the Universe has it out for me. Every time I schedule something that looks remotely like a vacation, ten thousand responsibilities pop up.
So next week, I am going to Napa with three very dear high school friends. (YAY!) I am taking off three days to do so. I haven’t taken an actual, honest-to-goodness full day off since… Um… Hmmm… My wedding? Which was December of 2008. Yes, I’ve taken “vacations.” But up till now, those vacations have been spent either a) working full time or b) working part time.
So, of course, now that I am going to take some Real Live Days Off, I have about 30 projects going on. (Which I am DEEPLY thankful for, please don’t get me wrong.) Plus, my in-laws will be here. And I am giving a presentation in a couple of weeks and need to prepare for that.
So. A lot going on.
To top it all off, my husband will be done with stupid night float the day that I leave for Napa.
* I hate night float more than anything in the whole wide world.
* Except maybe food poisoning.
* Nope. Night float wins.
* Did you notice up there when I said I was giving a presentation? Me. The girl who blushes during BOOK CLUB when I have to give my totally un-scientific opinions on the book we just read.
Now, I want to be clear on something. If you hire me to give a presentation, I will give a kick ass presentation. It will be well-researched. It will be clear. It will be well-organized. And it will not exceed the given time limit. (There’s nothing worse than an overly lengthy presentation.) (EXCEPT FOR NIGHT FLOAT.)
But. I hate speaking in front of people.
That doesn’t mean that I can’t do it. I mean, I was a teacher for three full semesters, people. Of college students. Who were about three years younger than I was. (Read: Intimidating and totally not intimidated by me.)
But I’m scared. Hopefully my blushing and shaky voice will subside after the first five minutes.
* If you are somehow NOT at BlogHer, please leave me a detailed comment or post on your blog. Because I am bored and I feel like there’s nothing to read. Whine whine whine.
* My stomach just gave an ominous gurgle. So I’m outtie 5000.
* * * * *
There you have it Internet! Happy Friday!
First, not at BlogHer, though I know the net is abuzz with it. BlogHer is such an interesting phenomenon. First there’s the anticipation and angst everyone posts leading up to it. Then it’s the travel snafus and adventures. Then it’s the actual conference. And then it’s two more weeks of people talking about it. It makes me a little crazy.
Second, I ate cottage cheese today too that is good until Saturday. I did the same sniff, little taste, etc, tests. It actually tasted just fine, but I couldn’t get it out of my head that it was just about to expire and had to just stop eating it because of my fear of having food poisoning.
Third, just as requested, it’s a detailed comment, but it’s definitely lacking substance or anything remotely entertaining. You could read my last blog entry where I also happen to mention vomiting. Two points for coincidences.
I’m definitely not at BlogHer, but I’d love to go sometime! I have somewhat of a detailed post today…I’ve let T take over the blog for the day. (God help me!)
I hope you feel better! Be careful eating that spoiled food! If it smells bad, just stay away. Bad news bears all around. T does that all the time with milk…he’ll smell it, say it’s bad and then keep eating it. And then wonder why he’s in the bathroom on the toilet an hour later. I’m too paranoid of getting food poisoning so I just toss it immediately.
Hope you find things to entertain you today!
not at blogher!! currently daydreaming about all of the things i want to get in this adorable little town we now call home. i don’t know how possible it is to get sick off of cheese. i mean its already rotten right? i think you’re good to go!!!
I’m not at BlogHer. Honestly, I don’t even get what it is. But then again, I don’t consider myself a “blogger” so why would I? lol. Yesterday, I almost ate bad food. It was pasta salad I’d made on Sunday. I hate wasting so I decided to go for it, 4 days later. It was disgusting and I stopped before it could make me sick.
I’m really jealous of your upcoming vacations, though I’m sure you deserve them!
Not at BlogHer. Sigh. I wish it wasn’t SO INCREDIBLY EXPENSIVE. I got pretty close to going this year, but when I added up ticket + airfare + hotel + taxis + misc, I realized it would be OVER A THOUSAND DOLLARS. For TWO DAYS. WTH??
Also, I haaaaaaaaate that kind of fight where it’s like “I JUST said that.” So annoying for so many reasons.
I hope we aren’t all the losers left that aren’t in NYC right now. I’ve never been to NYC (I don’t consider being in the airport BEING there) but I’ve always wanted to go…I’ve made the executive decision that since we are only 6 hours away there is NO excuse NOT to go.
I feel bad, I won’t have much excitement on my blog (yes, I’m getting ready to write it while at work…shhhh)…probably just some complaining…
This made me giggle, especially the “bloglebrities”. Haha!
I am not at BlogHer!
I’m not at blogher, and I think I wouldn’t be able to go either. I’ve never had food poisoning but it sounds absolutely miserable (although I laughed at the crawling on hands and knees begging for toilet paper part!)
Also, I get blushy and shaky when I have to speak in front of people too. It usually goes away when I get going. My fingers are crossed for you!
Totally not at BlogHer either, and don’t think I could ever go. I would be waaaayyyy too intimidated to talk to anyone…I’m almost too intimidated to leave comments! Also, I’ll never be cool enough to get in to the parties, so what’s the point, really? And I agree with Jessalee. The BlogHer blogging cycle is kind of annoying. Maybe it wouldn’t be if I was actually there, but whatever.
Please don’t eat any more of the cottage cheese.
I’m bored today too….how do you feel about writing another post? 🙂
I’m so amused by your post. I’ve had a blog for about 4 days now, so I actually just learned what BlogHer was…so I’m not there either.
Let’s talk food poisoning. Last March I got it for the first time. We were at my cousin’s wedding and I decided to try a raw oyster for the first (and last) time in my life.
That was during the cocktail hour…by the time they were serving dinner we were leaving. It was a 45 minute drive home and 20 minutes in we were pulled over on the side of the highway and I was vomiting (on my feet which barely made it out of my husband’s car, overshare?)
You would think the fact that it was cold and raining would make it worse, but it was actually quite refreshing.
So…you may not be at BlogHer, but at least you can say that your husband has never seen you puke…nor have you ever had to find your vomit stained pantie hose in the bottom of the hamper a week later. (I’m glad he cleaned up my dirty clothes, but we had a talk about how hose can be thrown away when covered in…well…that)
Sorry…I have nothing encouraging to say about having FP twice so close together. That just plain sucks.
how did i miss your post about coming to asheville?!
i’m not so sure it beats free accomodations, but asheville is the best place on Earth. take that, disneyland.
biltmore= expensive. but probably worth it.
i couldn’t go to blogher. not enough time, money or planning. i would love it though. i thought the vegas meetup would be nerve wracking, but it was so worth it, and not nerve wracking at all.
i might die if i had stomach problems at a friend’s house.
You are hilarious! I am not at BlogHer either. 🙁 Everyone is there it seems. Maybe next year I will look into it. I feel kind of weird asking another blogger to meet me there that I do not know in person, I don’t want to come off as a stalker. As you can see I am one of the ppl that will be in the back of the room too. LOL.
I’m not at BlogHer and jealous of all those people who are. Maybe I need to join the network? I dunno. I don’t think my posts are that exciting. But maybe they are?
I hope you don’t have FP. That would suck.
As for husband being weird about not using the timeshare?! Hit him upside the head. Those are the best and you should take up your MIL on her offer. She may not do it again!
I’ll never go to BlogHer either.
I know me, and me after BlogHer I would come home and think I could be the next Dooce if I just tried harder because BLOGHER TOLD ME HOW TO MARKET MY BLOG! NEED MORE HASHTAGS! TRACKBACKS! COMMENTS! NEED TO UTILIZE TWITTER! THIS IS HOW I ATTRACT ADVERTISERS! GO ME!
But in reality I write my dribble for me and the few readers I’ve fallen maddly stalkerishly in love with. *cough*
Plus I too would be all nervous and sweaty about meeting blog friends in real life, so I’d probably have 6 glasses of wine too many, and then people would be all, “what the hell is wrong with her?” and I’d be all sad that I alienated myself from my three readers, and BAM mental breakdown.
What is the point of BlogHer, exactly? I see it’s just a huge website that people join — how do people meaningfully connect on it when there are so many blogs?
And what’s with all these bloggers giving away swag; isn’t that just like buying readers (or even friends which is not much better)?
Haha, def not at blogher either. I am kidnapping you one year and we will go! I will force you to sit in the front and talk to people since so many people love your blog!
I couldn’t convince my husband that sending me to BlogHer was a good way to go… since I tend to blog sporadically, and he’s already spent time and money setting up my own .com website. lol. Maybe I can convince him next year… so… I’m not there.
It is good networking, if you are serious and trying to make money with your blog… but I’m not. So maybe I don’t even want to go. Who knows. The point is…
why in the world does your husband have something going to Charlottesville? lol. It is pretty, and cute… but my Mom told me she and my Dad went there for just a weekend and it was kind of boring. 🙁 I dunno… I like going because I have friends there.
The End.
Meh, I have zero desire to become a bloglebrity and thus do not put enough effort into my blog. So, personally, I do not get the appeal of the Blogher conference. I can see the usefulness of the Blogher advertising network, of course, though.
I am sure you will do great on the presentation!
I’m also, not at BlogHer. I, very much like you, would be terrified to talk to people, too self conscious and hang out in my room watching pay-per-view the whole time. Yepp. That’s me.
The image of you crawling to find toilet paper amuses me to no end. I think it’s hilarious. And how the heck has your husband never seen you get sick? That’s astounding to me. Or maybe I just drank and partied too much my first years in college. Take your pick.
I can’t promise anything too exciting on my own blog, but I will work on it. Maybe I’ll invent the cure to cancer and share it. Maybe.
This comment is getting ridiculous, so before I embarrass myself, enjoy your day, enjoy Napa (jealous) and don’t get anymore food poisoning.
Can I join your pity party? I’m not there! Now I’m jealous of them AND you for going to Napa! Have some sparkling deliciousness for me!
I had the fortune of avoiding the wrath of night float during my hubs intern year. Not the case for this year. I’m dreading his first night float with a passion. Until then, I’m gonna close my eyes and shake my head back and forth and pretend like that will make it go away…
If I was at Blogher, which I never will be, but if I was I would totally let you hide behind the potted plants with me. I mean, I probably wouldn’t actually TALK to you because I’m incapable of conversing in anything approaching a normal manner, but you could definitely share my hiding place.
Also, how can you tell when cottage cheese is off? It always seems a little spoiled to me anyway.
I never even knew there was a conference for bloggers until, um, a week ago. Therefore I am certainly not at Blogher, though my interest has been sufficiently peaked. Now I’m desperate to know what goes on there and how one gets invited. Or does one have to be invited. Eee! So many questions!
And I, too, hate night float.
I’m not at blogher. I’m not that cool. I did get an invitation from blogspark, but I don’t think that is nearly as cool as blogher. Um, yah.
I feel the same way about BlogHer & the Healthy Living Summit that’s coming up. Let’s pout together 🙁
I’m cracking up the whole way down. Also, I’m lame because I’m the 27th commenter. BUT, how funny is it that the post you thought no one would read got so many comments! I obviously was not at BlogHer and will never go. Even if I kept blogging, I can’t imagine myself ever going and sitting through seminars on blogging. It’s too much like church in oh-so-many ways!
Okay, I went to blogher. It was okay and all, but it was also just like high school. All of the really cool bloggers got invited to super cool secret parties and events, while the regular bloggers (i.e. dorks like me) were back at the conference attending sessions. I think that’s what was going on – but I could have been imagining it because the temperature of the conference hall was about negative 20. I’m pretty sure I nearly died of hypothermia. Can you do that without being in water? I don’t think you can. . but okay, I nearly froze to death so it’s possible that it was all a hallucination.
I highly doubt my friday post had much detail, given that it was about lace…. lol!
I was not at blogher and honestly I don’t know if I would want to go simply because all of the blogebrities. I think the concept is so cool and there are tons of bloggers I would love to meet but when I think of the blogebrities, I think of the girls that sit on twitter ALL day making comments about how their lives are so important, knocking the comments that are left on their blogs, critizcing and making fun of anyone who has a different opinion than them. Basically a bloque! But then, the very concept of blogging is self-importance, so why should I be surprised that it gets to some people’s heads??? 🙂
I wasn’t at BlogHer either! I wish I had been more on the (blogging) ball a few eyars ago when it was in San Francisco (close to me!) and a bit smaller. Sounds like it has gotten SO big now that it scares introverted, socially retarded ol’ me. But I still want to go at one point.
And yeah, I was hitting refresh and pouting and feeling like I was sitting home alone on prom night… Way to be an adult!